National Lampoon Magazine
#v2#53
(December 1982)
- Volume
- 2
- Price
- 2.00 USD
- Pages
- 100
- Indicia Frequency
- monthly
- On-sale Date
- 1982
- Publisher's Age Guidelines
- The Humor Magazine for Adults
- Indicia / Colophon Publisher
- NL Communications Inc.
- Editing
- Kevin Curran; Fred Graver
Issue Notes
Funny Pages on pages 81-86.
The individual issues of this series are each less than 50% comics. Only comics sequences are indexed and cover scans are accepted only if the issue has 10% indexed comics content.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.3 page
- Script
- Bob Mankoff (signed as Mankoff)
- Pencils
- Bob Mankoff (signed as Mankoff)
- Inks
- Bob Mankoff (signed as Mankoff)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Excuse me for interrupting, madam, but before you go on allow me to make these comments.
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- A businessman listens to a woman's pleas over the phone, then tells her she has the wrong number.
- Keywords
- song lyrics.; telephone; wrong number
Indexer Notes
Page 10. The caption is a parody of the lyrics to the 1902 song "(Won't You Come Home) Bill Bailey," words and music written by Hughie Cannon.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.25 page
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- I said, 'Eat your fucking vegetables, you scum-sucking pig.' What did you think I said?
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- A waiter in a restaurant criticizes a customer's eating habits.
- Keywords
- restaurant; vegetables; waiter
Indexer Notes
Page 12.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.25 page
- Script
- ? [as T. Haggerty] (signed)
- Pencils
- ? [as T. Haggerty] (signed)
- Inks
- ? [as T. Haggerty] (signed)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- We haven't got all day, buddy. Is it back in the body or do we pronounce you dead?
- Genre
- humor; medical
- Synopsis
- A man's soul hovers near the ceiling, while a doctor and nurse are waiting to declare him dead or alive.
- Keywords
- doctor; hospital; nurse; soul
Indexer Notes
Page 14.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.3 page
- Script
- Tom Cheney (signed as Cheney)
- Pencils
- Tom Cheney (signed as Cheney)
- Inks
- Tom Cheney (signed as Cheney)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Let me have a copy of Newsweek, Time, Forbes, Reader's Digest, Fortune, Mixed Combo Domination, Harper's and Business Week.
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- A businessman slips a sex magazine into the list of conservative magazines he recites to the clerk at a newsstand.
- Keywords
- magazines; newsstand
Indexer Notes
Page 17.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.2 page
- Script
- Liza Donnelly (signed as Donnelly)
- Pencils
- Liza Donnelly (signed as Donnelly)
- Inks
- Liza Donnelly (signed as Donnelly)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Mmm. I think I'll jam this guy's finger.
- Genre
- humor; sports
- Synopsis
- A thrown frisbee decides to inflect a little pain on the man who is supposed to catch it.
- Keywords
- frisbee
Indexer Notes
Page 28.
[Save the Banks]
cartoon / 0.2 page
- Script
- Bernard Schoenbaum (signed)
- Pencils
- Bernard Schoenbaum (signed)
- Inks
- Bernard Schoenbaum (signed)
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- A man sets up a box on the sidewalk so people can sign a petition to "Save the Banks."
- Keywords
- banks; petition; sidewalks
Indexer Notes
Page 31. Pantomime cartoon.
[Friends of the 55 mph Speed Limit Annual Convention]
cartoon / 0.25 page
- Script
- John Jonik (signed as Jonik)
- Pencils
- John Jonik (signed as Jonik)
- Inks
- John Jonik (signed as Jonik)
- Letters
- John Jonik (signed as Jonik)
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- The convention for "Friends of the 55 mph Speed Limit" has very few attendees.
- Keywords
- convention
Indexer Notes
Page 32. Pantomime cartoon.
[Good Morning Specials]
cartoon / 0.25 page
- Script
- Michael Crawford (signed as M Crawford)
- Pencils
- Michael Crawford (signed as M Crawford)
- Inks
- Michael Crawford (signed as M Crawford)
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- A diner offers morning specials consisting of coffee and cigarettes.
- Keywords
- breakfast; cigarettes; coffee; diner
Indexer Notes
Page 34. Pantomime cartoon.
[no title indexed]
Surprise Poster / cartoon / 2 pages
- Script
- Gary Hallgren (signed)
- Pencils
- Gary Hallgren (signed)
- Inks
- Gary Hallgren (signed)
- Colors
- Gary Hallgren (signed)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- On the night before Christmas...
- Genre
- humor
- Characters
- Mrs. Claus; elves
- Synopsis
- While Santa's away on his Christmas Eve trip, Mrs. Claus and the elves will play.
- Keywords
- Christmas; elves; Mrs. Claus; Santa Claus
Indexer Notes
Pages 48-49. Two page illustration across the centerfold.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.3 page
- Script
- Leo Cullum (signed)
- Pencils
- Leo Cullum (signed)
- Inks
- Leo Cullum (signed)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- He said he was going to ride the rapids, and that was the last I ever saw of him.
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- Two fish in a bowl on the back of a toilet discuss what happened to the other fish in the bowl.
- Keywords
- fish bowl; toilet
Indexer Notes
Page 52.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.4 page
- Script
- Brian Savage (signed)
- Pencils
- Brian Savage (signed)
- Inks
- Brian Savage (signed)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Good heavens, Briggs, it appears we've stumbled upon a gay watering hole.
- Genre
- humor; jungle
- Synopsis
- Two explorers discover a jungle watering hole where all the animals are gay.
- Keywords
- explorers; gay; jungle; watering hole
Indexer Notes
Page 54.
S. D., the Super Deplorable
comic story / 2 pages
- Script
- Sean Kelly (credited)
- Pencils
- Howard Nostrand (credited)
- Inks
- Howard Nostrand (credited)
- Letters
- ?; typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Frank, you ol' blue-eyed bum, ya!
- Genre
- humor; satire-parody
- Characters
- Sammy Davis, Jr.; Frank Sinatra; Dean Martin
- Synopsis
- Sammy Davis, Jr., falls out of a speeding car and is taken home by three black children.
- Keywords
- African-American; movie; parody
Indexer Notes
Pages 60-61. A parody of the "E. T." movie, done in storyboard format.
The Real Mr. Universe Contest
cartoon / 2 pages
- Script
- ?
- Pencils
- Greg Theakston (credited)
- Inks
- Greg Theakston (credited)
- Colors
- Greg Theakston (credited)
- Letters
- typeset
- Genre
- humor; satire-parody
- Characters
- E. T.; Arnold Schwarzenegger; Marvin Martian; Yoda; Robby the Robot; C3PO; R2-D2; Ming the Merciless; Mr. Spock; Beldar Conehead
- Synopsis
- E. T. gets the prize in a contest with various space characters.
- Keywords
- aliens; robots; trophy
Indexer Notes
Pages 62-62. Two-page drawing.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.3 page
- Script
- Peter Steiner [as P. Steiner] (signed)
- Pencils
- Peter Steiner [as P. Steiner] (signed)
- Inks
- Peter Steiner [as P. Steiner] (signed)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Try to see things from my point of view.
- Genre
- humor; historical
- Synopsis
- A king argues with a peasant.
- Keywords
- king; peasant; throne
Indexer Notes
Page 64.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.3 page
- Script
- Sam Gross (signed as S. Gross)
- Pencils
- Sam Gross (signed as S. Gross)
- Inks
- Sam Gross (signed as S. Gross)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- See what happens when a white girl marries a schwartze?
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- After watching a performance of "Othello," a mother has some advice for her daughter.
- Keywords
- daughter; mother; play; Shakespeare
Indexer Notes
Page 66.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.25 page
- Script
- Mike Stevens (signed as M Stevens)
- Pencils
- Mike Stevens (signed as M Stevens)
- Inks
- Mike Stevens (signed as M Stevens)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Thirty-second floor, huh? I been up there... That's a hell of a nice floor.
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- A maintenance man makes small talk with an apartment resident while riding in an elevator.
- Keywords
- elevator
Indexer Notes
Page 73.
[no title indexed]
Foto Funnies / photo story / 1 page
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Goddamn Reaganomics...
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- A man pretending to be a two-year-old calls for a baby-sitter.
- Keywords
- baby-sitter
Indexer Notes
Page 79.
Plugged-In Pinhead
Zippy / comic story / 1 page
- Script
- Bill Griffith (signed)
- Pencils
- Bill Griffith (signed)
- Inks
- Bill Griffith (signed)
- Letters
- Bill Griffith (signed)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Zippy likes to keep on top of all late-breaking news.
- Genre
- humor
- Characters
- Zippy
- Synopsis
- Zippy wanders around town saying random things.
Indexer Notes
Page 81.
In the Halls of Congress
Excursions / comic story / 0.5 page
- Script
- Rick Geary (signed)
- Pencils
- Rick Geary (signed)
- Inks
- Rick Geary (signed)
- Letters
- Rick Geary (signed)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- This month: A look inside the U. S. Congress
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- Congress populated by African tribespeople.
- Reprints
- Keywords
- Congress
in Indexer Notes
Page 82.
[no title indexed]
Ward C / comic story / 0.5 page
- Script
- Tom Cheney (credited) (signed as Cheney)
- Pencils
- Tom Cheney (credited) (signed as Cheney)
- Inks
- Tom Cheney (credited) (signed as Cheney)
- Letters
- Tom Cheney (credited) (signed as Cheney)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Dr. Willis, please report to the therapy room.
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- Whoever is manning the intercom seems to have psychic powers.
- Keywords
- intercom
Indexer Notes
Page 82.
[no title indexed]
Popular Problems / comic story / 0.5 page
- Script
- Ron Hauge (credited, signed)
- Pencils
- Ron Hauge (credited, signed)
- Inks
- Ron Hauge (credited, signed)
- Letters
- Ron Hauge (credited, signed)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Why am I still carrying this waffle iron?
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- Two men complain all the way while climbing Mt. Everest.
- Keywords
- mountain climbing; Mt. Everest; newspaper; snow
Indexer Notes
Page 83.
[no title indexed]
Politenessman / comic story / 0.5 page
- Script
- Ron Barrett (credited)
- Pencils
- Ron Barrett (credited)
- Inks
- Ron Barrett (credited)
- Letters
- Ron Barrett (credited)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- A reputed underworld chieftain dines out.
- Genre
- humor
- Characters
- Politenessman
- Synopsis
- An underworld leader is shot in a restaurant. He tries to identify his killers by writing a message in pasta, but Politenessman puts a stop to that.
- Keywords
- assassination; pasta; underworld
Indexer Notes
Page 83.
[no title indexed]
Ray and Joe: The Story of a Man and His Dead Friend / comic story / 1 page
- Script
- Charlie Rodrigues (signed as Rodrigues)
- Pencils
- Charlie Rodrigues (signed as Rodrigues)
- Inks
- Charlie Rodrigues (signed as Rodrigues)
- Letters
- Charlie Rodrigues (signed as Rodrigues)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- The story: Ray's closest friend Joe dies and he prevails upon his widow not to bury him...
- Genre
- humor
- Characters
- Ray; Joe; Mr. Calabrese
- Synopsis
- Six days after Joe died, he's starting to smell so Ray takes him to a funeral parlor to have him embalmed.
- Keywords
- embalmed; funeral parlor
Indexer Notes
Page 84. Part of a continued story.
Guess What?
Lessons in Life / comic story / 0.25 page
- Script
- Mimi Pond (credited)
- Pencils
- Mimi Pond (credited)
- Inks
- Mimi Pond (credited)
- Letters
- Mimi Pond (credited)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Mentally retarded person or art student?
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- Three persons, with two choices of occupation for each one.
Indexer Notes
Page 85.
[no title indexed]
Zeb Piker / comic story / 0.25 page
- Script
- ? [as Hollinger] (credited)
- Pencils
- ? [as Hollinger] (credited)
- Inks
- ? [as Hollinger] (credited)
- Letters
- ? [as Hollinger] (credited)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Zeb tries out his new "alternatives" method of dog obedience training.
- Genre
- humor
- Characters
- Zeb Piker
- Synopsis
- Zeb gives his dog two choices--one bad and one easy.
- Keywords
- dog; obedience course
Indexer Notes
Page 85.
[no title indexed]
Aunt Mary's Kitchen / comic story / 0.5 page
- Script
- M. K. Brown (signed)
- Pencils
- M. K. Brown (signed)
- Inks
- M. K. Brown (signed)
- Letters
- M. K. Brown (signed)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Today we're making Finger Pies for my nephew Mark.
- Genre
- humor
- Characters
- Aunt Mary; Mark
- Synopsis
- Aunt Mary gives her nephew Mark a haircut, then starts on a Finger Pies recipe.
- Keywords
- haircut; recipe
Indexer Notes
Page 85.
[no title indexed]
Timberland Tales / comic story / 1 page
- Script
- B. K. Taylor (signed)
- Pencils
- B. K. Taylor (signed)
- Inks
- B. K. Taylor (signed)
- Letters
- B. K. Taylor (signed)
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- The holidays have arrived and a festive mood fills the air.
- Genre
- humor
- Characters
- Dr. Rogers; Kathleen; Maurice; Constable Tom
- Synopsis
- The group gets together for a Christmas dinner. Unfortunately, Constable Tom and Maurice make the dinner.
- Keywords
- Christmas; Christmas carols; dancing; rabbit
Indexer Notes
Page 86.
[no title indexed]
Foto Funnies / photo story / 1 page
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- I like you just the way you are.
- Genre
- humor
- Synopsis
- A man imagines a topless woman with various accessories.
- Keywords
- nudity
Indexer Notes
Page 88.
[no title indexed]
cartoon / 0.3 page
- Script
- Sidney Harris (signed as S. Harris)
- Pencils
- Sidney Harris (signed as S. Harris)
- Inks
- Sidney Harris (signed as S. Harris)
- Letters
- typeset
- First Line of Dialogue or Text
- Sorry, but we've decided not to help you any more. The general feeling is that you've been exploiting us all these years.
- Genre
- humor; jungle; satire-parody
- Characters
- Tarzan
- Synopsis
- The apes tell Tarzan he's on his own.
- Keywords
- apes; jungle
Indexer Notes
Page 94.
Editing
Related Scans
Series Information
Table of Contents
-
1.
["Excuse me for interrupting, madam, but before you go on allow me to make these comments."]
-
2.
["I said, 'Eat your fucking vegetables, you scum-sucking pig.' What did you think I said?"]
-
3.
["We haven't got all day, buddy. Is it back in the body or do we pronounce you dead?"]
-
4.
["Let me have a copy of Newsweek, Time, Forbes, Reader's Digest, Fortune, Mixed Combo Domination, Harper's and Business Week."]
-
5.
["Mmm. I think I'll jam this guy's finger."]
-
6.
[Save the Banks]
-
7.
[Friends of the 55 mph Speed Limit Annual Convention]
-
8.
[Good Morning Specials]
-
9.
["On the night before Christmas..."]
Surprise Poster -
10.
["He said he was going to ride the rapids, and that was the last I ever saw of him."]
-
11.
["Good heavens, Briggs, it appears we've stumbled upon a gay watering hole."]
-
12.
S. D., the Super Deplorable
-
13.
The Real Mr. Universe Contest
-
14.
["Try to see things from my point of view."]
-
15.
["See what happens when a white girl marries a schwartze?"]
-
16.
["Thirty-second floor, huh? I been up there... That's a hell of a nice floor."]
-
17.
["Goddamn Reaganomics..."]
Foto Funnies -
18.
Plugged-In Pinhead
Zippy -
19.
In the Halls of Congress
Excursions -
20.
["Dr. Willis, please report to the therapy room."]
Ward C -
21.
["Why am I still carrying this waffle iron?"]
Popular Problems -
22.
["A reputed underworld chieftain dines out."]
Politenessman -
23.
["The story: Ray's closest friend Joe dies and he prevails upon his widow not to bury him..."]
Ray and Joe: The Story of a Man and His Dead Friend -
24.
Guess What?
Lessons in Life -
25.
["Zeb tries out his new "alternatives" method of dog obedience training."]
Zeb Piker -
26.
["Today we're making Finger Pies for my nephew Mark."]
Aunt Mary's Kitchen -
27.
["The holidays have arrived and a festive mood fills the air."]
Timberland Tales -
28.
["I like you just the way you are."]
Foto Funnies -
29.
["Sorry, but we've decided not to help you any more. The general feeling is that you've been exploiting us all these years."]
This issue was modified by
- Steven Samuels
- Luther Weaver
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