Archie Andrews; Betty Cooper; Veronica Lodge; Jughead Jones
Arrr! Archie, aka Captain Kidd, tries to be the scurviest swine on the high seas with the help of a book that teaches him how to talk pirate. Meanwhile, Betty, the booty, shoots the cap'n in the behind with a pistol.
When Archie breaks a date with Betty again, she snaps and decides to murder him. After Betty makes several attempts on Archie's life, involving falling trees and wagons full of bricks, Jughead suggests that Archie try to pacify her.