Mad #499

(April 2009)

Return of The Beat Down (Table of Contents)

Street Fighter IV / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for game from Capcom.

Indexer Notes

inside front cover

Departments (Table of Contents)

Table of Contents / foreword, introduction, preface, afterword / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

various

Inks:

various

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Characters:

White Spy; Alfred E. Neuman; Cookie Monster; Dr. Meatdanglin'

Indexer Notes

The feature "Horton Hears A Ho Department" is phony and does not actually appear in the issue.

Random Samplings of Reader Mail (Table of Contents)

Letters And Tomatoes Department; MAD's 2-Question Interviews / letters page / 3.34 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

John Ficarra; Liz Clark; Chris DeMattia; Sam Share-Raab; Rob Scibetti; Robert Landis; Rob Golden; Peter Abrahan; James Smith, Jr.; Vic Arkoff; Lee Cleaveland; Daniel Doft

Pencils:

Sam Share-Raab (photo); Rob Golden (photo); Luke Ellison; Vic Arkoff (photo)

Inks:

Sam Share-Raab (photo); Rob Golden (photo); Luke Ellison; Vic Arkoff (photo)

Colors:

Sam Share-Raab (photo); Rob Golden (photo); Luke Ellison; Vic Arkoff (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Characters:

Alfred E. Neuman; Chris DeMattia; David Cook; Griffin Golden; Brian Williams; Ralph Nader; Christiane Amanpour; Bob Costas; John Madden; Chris Matthews; Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.; Tiki Barber

Synopsis:

Letters, photos and fan art. Includes "MAD's 2-Question Interviews" by Vic Arkoff.

Naruto Shippuden (Table of Contents)

Shonen Jump / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for books from Viz Media.

Indexer Notes

Between pages 1-2 of letters pages.

Dragon Ball Z Remastered (Table of Contents)

Dragon Ball Z / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for DVDs from Tobi Animation and Funimation.

Indexer Notes

On bottom half of pages 2-3 of letters pages.

The Original Lowrider (Table of Contents)

Shin Chan / advertisement / 0.33 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for DVD from TV Asahi and Funimation.

Indexer Notes

On page 4 of letters pages.

Halo Wars (Table of Contents)

Halo Wars / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for game from Microsoft.

Indexer Notes

Between pages 4-5 of letters pages.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents)

credits / 0.33 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

non-fiction

An Important Message From MAD's Director of Business & Development (Table of Contents)

Mad Magazine / promo (ad from the publisher) / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Jeffrey Lozenge ?

Pencils:

? (photo)

Inks:

? (photo)

Colors:

? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Characters:

Jeffrey Lozenge

Synopsis:

A bunch of meaningless drivel as a house ad for MAD Magazine subscriptions..

Indexer Notes

#3 in a series. Jeffrey is wearing a Riddler costume.

The Fundalini Pages (Table of Contents)

The Fundalini Pages; The Fast 5; The Yungbluth And The Restless; Melvin & Jenkins; The Sublime 7; Stories Reported By TMZ That Were Later Retracted; Eerie Similarities Between; Bitterman; How George W. Bush Will Be Perceived By Various Americans / comic story / 3 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

various

Pencils:

various

Inks:

various

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Abraham Lincoln; Barack Obama; Cookie Monster; Ron Jeremy; George W. Bush; Hillary Clinton; Bono; Melvin; Jenkins; Joe Bitterman; H. Bitterman

Indexer Notes

Contributors (roles unknown) include: Desmond Devlin; Evan Dorkin; Sarah Syer; Drew Friedman; Garth Gerhart; Mark Hempel; Darren Johnson; Jeff Kruse; Barry Liebmann; Kevin Pope; Sam Sisco; Warde Sutton; Jason Yungbluth

What The Heck Is The Difference? (Table of Contents)

Observation Dreck Dept. / activity / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

Jack Davis (signed); ? (changes)

Inks:

Jack Davis (signed); ? (changes)

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Characters:

Alfred E. Neuman

Synopsis:

Cover of MAD #213 with a variation to find the differences on.

Reprints: show reprint note before migration

• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #213 (March 1980)

Botchmen (Table of Contents)

Moore's Code Dept. / comic story / 6 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Desmond Devlin

Pencils:

Tom Richmond (signed)

Inks:

Tom Richmond (signed)

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire-parody

Characters:

Ozcargrouchius [Amoral Bleidt]; Nerd-Owl [Daniel]; Silk Speculum; Wackjob; Funnyman [Edward Branflake]; Dr. Meatdanglin' [Jon]; Alan "Smithee" Moore; Spider-Man (cameo); Batman (cameo); Robin (cameo); Hulk (cameo); Plastic Man (cameo)

Synopsis:

The Botchmen wander through all the loose plot ends of the Watchmen story.

A MAD Look at Trade Schools (Table of Contents)

Serge-In General Dept. / comic story / 3 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Sergio Aragones

Pencils:

Sergio Aragones

Inks:

Sergio Aragones

Colors:

Tom Luth

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Synopsis:

Comic situations that are unlikely to happen during training classes.

Digital TV FAQs (Table of Contents)

A Small-Box Epidemic Dept. / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Jeff Kruse

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Synopsis:

Foolish questions and answers concerning the pending US digital tv conversion.

Humanity's Hope Begins With One Man's Retribution (Table of Contents)

Resistance Retribution / advertisement / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for game from Playstation Network.

The Decided Disadvantages of An Online Education (Table of Contents)

Modem Cum Laude Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

John Caldwell

Pencils:

John Caldwell

Inks:

John Caldwell

Colors:

?

Letters:

John Caldwell

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Synopsis:

Things that could go wrong with an online education.

The Darker Side of The Lighter Side (Table of Contents)

Berg's-Eye Askew Dept. / comic story / 3 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Dave Berg (original); ? (revised)

Pencils:

Dave Berg

Inks:

Dave Berg

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Roger Kaputnik; Dave Berg

Synopsis:

New gags written for Dave Berg's drawings.

Reprints:

• From Mad (EC, 1952 Series) #?

Indexer Notes

The new gag writer is not credited.

From JP CitiChaseWaCapitalMu Bank, Inc. (Table of Contents)

text article / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Dick DeBartolo

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire-parody

Synopsis:

Fake letter from a new mega-bank to the American people.

Indexer Notes

There is a simulated watermark to the page with a logo constructed out of financial company logos including Chase, Travelers, and WaMu.

MAD's Unheroic Watchmen Outtakes (Table of Contents)

Please Sir, Can I Have Some Moore? Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

? (photo)

Inks:

? (photo)

Colors:

? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire-parody

Characters:

Rorschach [Walter P. Kovacs]; Daniel Dreiberg [Nite Owl]; Adrian Viedt [Ozymandias]; Dr. Manhattan [Jon Osterman]; Laurie Juspeczyk [Silk Spectre]

Synopsis:

Stills from the movie "Watchmen" with fake dialog.

The Story of Deathbed Donkey...And The Rage of Sorrow (Table of Contents)

A Touch of Ass Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Brian McConnachie

Pencils:

Rick Geary

Inks:

Rick Geary

Colors:

?

Letters:

?

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Deathbed Donkey

Synopsis:

Story of a donkey that shows up whever someone is dying.

Unabridged Sports Cliches (Table of Contents)

Humor In A Jock-Ular Vein Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Jacob Lambert

Pencils:

Paul Coker

Inks:

Paul Coker

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Synopsis:

Standard sports interview cliches, with explanatory remarks.

Buy This Stuff Today! (Table of Contents)

MAD Books / promo (ad from the publisher) / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

? (photo)

Inks:

? (photo)

Colors:

? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Characters:

Alfred E. Neuman; George Bush; Black Spy; White Spy

Synopsis:

House ad for various MAD books and DVDs.

The Strip Club (Table of Contents)

Pen And Stink Dept.; The Machine That Travels Through Time; The Roommates: John, Joe and Jerry; The Dork Side; Your Mama's Website Is So Ugly; The Long And Short of It...; The Legendary Deliveries of Pete Zahn; One Lovely Easter Morning / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Joey Sayers; Scott Nickel; Tony Murphy; Dan Long; John Kovaleski; Todd Clark; Christopher Baldwin

Pencils:

Joey Sayers; Scott Nickel; Tony Murphy; Dan Long; John Kovaleski; Todd Clark; Christopher Baldwin

Inks:

Joey Sayers; Scott Nickel; Tony Murphy; Dan Long; John Kovaleski; Todd Clark; Christopher Baldwin

Colors:

?

Letters:

Joey Sayers; Scott Nickel; Tony Murphy; Dan Long; John Kovaleski; Todd Clark; Christopher Baldwin

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

The Easter Bunny

Indexer Notes

A collection of comic strips.

Coming March 2009 (Table of Contents)

H-A-W-X / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for game from Ubisoft.

Spy Vs. Spy (Table of Contents)

Joke And Dagger Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Peter Kuper

Pencils:

Peter Kuper

Inks:

Peter Kuper

Colors:

?

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Black Spy; White Spy

Synopsis:

Two strips. In the first, the White spy is beheaded after believing he's engineered a jailbreak. In the second, a trick diving board does in the Black Spy.

President Obama The Promise Vs. The Reality (Table of Contents)

Going Barack On His Word Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Desmond Devlin

Pencils:

Leonardo Rodriguez; Kevin Pope

Inks:

Leonardo Rodriguez; Kevin Pope

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire-parody

Characters:

Barack Obama; Nancy Pelosi; John McCain; Joe Lieberman

Synopsis:

Compares Barack Obama's campaign promises to what he'll likely do in office.

What Happens When The Numbers Run Out? (Table of Contents)

Knowing / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for movie from Summit Entertainment.

A "Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions" Snowboarding Conversation (Table of Contents)

Mad Fold-In / activity / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Al Jaffee (signed)

Pencils:

Al Jaffee (signed)

Inks:

Al Jaffee (signed)

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Indexer Notes

inside back cover

Drawn-Out Dramas (Table of Contents)

Marginal Thinking Dept. / filler / 0 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Sergio Aragones

Pencils:

Sergio Aragones

Inks:

Sergio Aragones

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Indexer Notes

Gags appear on 13 different pages.

We Scoured The Universe To Find One (Table of Contents)

esurance / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Characters:

Erin Esurance

Synopsis:

Ad for auto insurance with special Star Trek movie content on the esurance website.

Indexer Notes

back cover