Mad #503

(May 2010)

Now Available (Table of Contents)

Everquest II Sentinel's Fate / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for game from Sony Online Entertainment.

Indexer Notes

inside front cover

Departments (Table of Contents)

Table of Contents / foreword, introduction, preface, afterword / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

various

Inks:

various

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Alfred E. Neuman; Sarah Palin; Tiger Woods; Black Spy; White Spy; Twitter trademark bird; Shellshock

Indexer Notes

Art is excerpts from various articles in this issue.
The feature "Spanx-Giving Department" is phony and does not actually appear in the issue.

Random Samplings of Reader Mail (Table of Contents)

Letters And Tomatoes Department / letters page / 2.75 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

John Ficarra; Hannah Cook; Mark Guzman; Kirsten Angel; Jim Mazur

Pencils:

? (photo); Kirsten Angel (photo); Jim Hutchings (photo); Sergio Aragones

Inks:

? (photo); Kirsten Angel (photo); Jim Hutchings (photo); Sergio Aragones

Colors:

? (photo); Kirsten Angel (photo); Jim Hutchings (photo); ?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Characters:

Hannah Cook; Dick DeBartolo; Conor Angel; Jim Mazur; 'Pits' DeArmond; Alfred E. Neuman; The Situation; Snooki; Lady Gaga; Zach Galifianakis; Kim Kardashian; Frank Jacobs

Synopsis:

Letters, photos and fan art.

Indexer Notes

Includes art by Sergio Aragones for the Free Comic Book Day 2010 tee shirt.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents)

credits / 0.25 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

fact

Celebrating Over 30 Years! (Table of Contents)

Joe Kubert School Of Cartoon And Graphic Art, Inc. / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

Joe Kubert (signed)

Inks:

Joe Kubert (signed)

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for art school.

The Fundalini Pages (Table of Contents)

Random Acts of Mindless Dept.; The Silly Six; The Kitchen Sink; Twisted Toaster Tales; Rundalini Rates; Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds; Spotted At The Multiplex; 6 Degrees of Separation Between Anyone And Anything; When The Going Gets Duff / comic story / 5 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Jeff Kruse; Nate Fakes; J. C. Duffy; Desmond Devlin; Darren Johnson; ?

Pencils:

Sam Sisco; Nate Fakes; Evan Dorkin; Sarah Dyer; ? (photo); Sam Viviano; Tom Richmond; J. C. Duffy; Rick Tulka; Richard Williams; Tom Bunk

Inks:

Sam Sisco; Nate Fakes; Evan Dorkin; Sarah Dyer; ? (photo); Sam Viviano; Tom Richmond; J. C. Duffy; Rick Tulka; Richard Williams; Tom Bunk

Colors:

?; ? (photo)

Letters:

typeset; Nate Fakes

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Barack Obama; Lady Gaga; Twisted Toaster; Sarah Palin; Geico Gecko; Flo; Dennis Haysbert; Jake Sully; Mark McGwire; Billy Mays; Glenn Beck; Garfield; Conan O'Brien; Jay Leno

Synopsis:

Various short satires of pop culture.

Indexer Notes

Additional features are: Graphic Novel Review; Signs of A Growing Gun Problem In The NBA; Reasons Cited By Sportswriters...; Pros And Cons of The Kindle; Product Acronyms You Never Knew Existed.

Relive The Stupidity! (Table of Contents)

A Mad Ad Parody / illustration / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

? (photo); Tom Richmond

Inks:

? (photo); Tom Richmond

Colors:

?; ? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire; parody

Characters:

Barack Obama; Tareq Salahi; Michaele Salahi; Falcon Heene; Richard Heene

Synopsis:

Advertisement for videos of phony movies "30,000"; White House Crashers; and "Made Up."

Indexer Notes

between pages 3-4 of The Fundalini Pages

Tiger Cheat (Table of Contents)

A MAD Parody / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

? (photo)

Inks:

? (photo)

Colors:

? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire; parody

Characters:

Tiger Woods; Jon Gosselin

Synopsis:

Parody of cover of magazine "Tiger Beat" featuring women Tiger Woods has supposedly had affairs with.

Indexer Notes

between pages 4-5 of The Fundalini Pages

We're Temporarily Stopping Production (Table of Contents)

A Mad Ad Parody / text article / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire; parody

Synopsis:

A parody of a Toyota apologetic ad.

On Sale Now! (Table of Contents)

MAD About Super Heroes / promo (ad from the publisher) / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Characters:

Alfred E. Neuman

Synopsis:

House ad for book "MAD About Super Heroes Volume 2."

Indexer Notes

Alfred is dressed in a Batman costume.

The MAD Quarterly Report December 2009 - March 2010 (Table of Contents)

Eventing Our Spleen Dept. / text article / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

Paul Coker

Inks:

Paul Coker

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Lou Dobbs; Donald Trump; Rod Blagojevich; Kate Hudson; Alex Rodriguez; Rush Limbaugh; Sarah Palin; Brian Williams; Tareq Salahi; Michaele Salahi; Charlie Sheen; Sheikh Khalifa; John Edwards

Synopsis:

Notes about goofy news of the past quarter.

The Big Bomb Theory (Table of Contents)

The Geekest Link Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Desmond Devlin

Pencils:

Tom Richmond

Inks:

Tom Richmond

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire; parody

Characters:

Albert Einstein; Leper Halfstudler; Panty; Shellshock; Razzberry; Howsad

Synopsis:

Parody of tv show "The Big Bang Theory", where we are introduced to the cast and Shellshock takes over the show with a diabolical experiment.

Fight Unemployment! (Table of Contents)

MAD Books / promo (ad from the publisher) / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

? (photo)

Inks:

? (photo)

Colors:

? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Synopsis:

House ad for various MAD books, including 4 exclusive at Barnes & Noble.

Indexer Notes

Art is covers of the books.

The Tiger Woods Mistress Mini-Golf Fun Center (Table of Contents)

Just Screw It Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Scott Maiko

Pencils:

Ty Templeton

Inks:

Ty Templeton

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Characters:

Tiger Woods; Elin Woods; Gloria Allred

Synopsis:

Ideas for a new golf business for Tiger Woods, to cash in on his marital troubles.

The Darker Side of The Lighter Side (Table of Contents)

Berg's Eye Askew Dept. / comic story / 3 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Dave Berg (original); ? (revised)

Pencils:

Dave Berg

Inks:

Dave Berg

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Dave Berg

Synopsis:

New gags written for Dave Berg's drawings

Reprints:

• From Mad (EC, 1952 Series) #?

Indexer Notes

The new gag writer is not credited.

An Important Message From MAD's Director of Business & Development (Table of Contents)

Mad Magazine / promo (ad from the publisher) / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Jeffrey Lozenge ?

Pencils:

? (photo)

Inks:

? (photo)

Colors:

? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Jeffrey Lozenge

Synopsis:

A message stringing together some well-known lines from the US Revolution.

Indexer Notes

House ad for Mad subscriptions; #72 in a series. Jeffrey is wearing a Revolutionary War costume.

Amish Mantle And Miracle Invention help Your Bank Balance Hit Rock Bottom (Table of Contents)

The Pennsylvania Dutch Oven Dept. / text story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Scott Maiko

Pencils:

Irving Schild (ohoto)

Inks:

Irving Schild (ohoto)

Colors:

Irving Schild (ohoto)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire; parody

Synopsis:

Parody of Amish fireplace ads, showing how they are a scam.

Spy Vs. Spy (Table of Contents)

Joke And Dagger Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Peter Kuper

Pencils:

Peter Kuper

Inks:

Peter Kuper

Colors:

?

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Black Spy; White Spy

Synopsis:

Two strips. In the first, the Black Spy is shot by a piece of White modern art. In the second, the White Spy is propelled into the path of a bus by a motorized umbrella.

The Rich Rewards of A Full-Time Career As A Convenience Store Clerk (Table of Contents)

Giving Change You Can Believe In Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

John Caldwell

Pencils:

John Caldwell

Inks:

John Caldwell

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Synopsis:

Absurd ideas on benefits of being a convenience store clerk.

A MAD Look At Avatar (Table of Contents)

Serge-In General Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Sergio Aragones

Pencils:

Sergio Aragones

Inks:

Sergio Aragones

Colors:

Tom Luth

Content Information

Genre:

satire; parody

Characters:

Jake Sully; Colonel Miles Quaritch; Neytiri

Synopsis:

Things that could have gone wrong with various scenes from the movie Avatar.

The 9 Reasons You Can't Get A Job (Table of Contents)

Hire Education Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Teresa Burns Parkhurst

Pencils:

Kevin Pope

Inks:

Kevin Pope

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Synopsis:

Nine stupid or annoying things to do that would stop anyone from hiring you.

7 Periods Closer To Death (Table of Contents)

The Rall of Duty Dept. / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Ted Rall

Pencils:

Ted Rall

Inks:

Ted Rall

Letters:

Ted Rall

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Synopsis:

A boy writes an absurd science fiction story and is sent to the school psychologist because of the violence in the story...which he plagiarized anyway.

The 38 Worst Things About Late Night TV! (Table of Contents)

All Hams On Desk Dept. / comic story / 5 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Desmond Devlin; Scott Maiko; Jeff Kruse

Pencils:

Hermann Mejia; Ward Sutton

Inks:

Hermann Mejia; Ward Sutton

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Jon Stewart; Conan O'Brien; Ross The Intern; David Letterman; John J. Doherty; George Lopez; Andy Richter; Jimmy Kimmel; Uncle Frank Potenza; Jay Leno; Jimmy Fallon; Johnny Carson; Ed McMahon; Stephen Colbert; Bill O'Reilly; Barack Obama; Craig Ferguson

Synopsis:

A look at the bad jokes, bad bits, bad decisions and repetitiveness of late night tv comedy shows.

MAD's Iron Man 2 Outtakes (Table of Contents)

The Young And The Rustless Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

? (photo)

Inks:

? (photo)

Colors:

? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Iron Man [Tony Stark]; Pepper Potts; Whiplash [Ivan Vanko]; Nick Fury

Synopsis:

Stills from the movie "Iron Man 2" with fake dialog.

Stop The Spread Of Germs! (Table of Contents)

An Embarrassment of Richards Dept. / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Dick DeBartolo

Pencils:

Gary Hallgren

Inks:

Gary Hallgren

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Synopsis:

Stupid ideas to stay germ free.

Indexer Notes

A MAD Healthy Living Poster.

The Strip Club (Table of Contents)

Pen And Stink Dept.; Just Below The Surface; It Only Hurts When I Laugh; The Machine That Travels Through Time; Bloggers Through Time; The Dork Side / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Christopher Baldwin; Joey Alison Sayers; Dustin Glick; Scott Nickel; Feggo; Douglas Paszkiewicz

Pencils:

Christopher Baldwin; Joey Alison Sayers; Dustin Glick; Scott Nickel; Feggo; Douglas Paszkiewicz

Inks:

Christopher Baldwin; Joey Alison Sayers; Dustin Glick; Scott Nickel; Feggo; Douglas Paszkiewicz

Colors:

?

Letters:

Christopher Baldwin; Joey Alison Sayers; Dustin Glick; Scott Nickel; Feggo; Douglas Paszkiewicz

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Synopsis:

A collection of comic strips.

The MAD Vault 1969 (Table of Contents)

The Articles Formerly Known As Reprints Dept. / comic story / 3 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Frank Ridgeway; Al Jaffee; Larry Siegel; Stan Hart; Chris Hart; Frank Jacobs; Duck Edwing;Don Martin; Sergio Aragones

Pencils:

Al Jaffee; Mort Drucker; Norman Mingo; Bob Clarke; Jack Davis; George Woodbridge; Jack Rickard; Paul Coker Jr.; Don Martin; Sergio Aragones; Irving Schild ? (photo)

Inks:

Al Jaffee; Mort Drucker; Norman Mingo; Bob Clarke; Jack Davis; George Woodbridge; Jack Rickard; Paul Coker Jr.; Don Martin; Sergio Aragones; Irving Schild ? (photo)

Colors:

?; ? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Alfred E. Neuman; Beetle Bailey; Sargeant Orville P. Snorkle; Captain Sam Scabbard

Reprints: show reprint note before migration

• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #124 (January 1969)
• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #125 (March 1969)
• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #126 (April 1969)
• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #127 (June 1969)
• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #128 (July 1969)
• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #129 (September 1969)
• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #130 (October 1969)
• from Mad (EC, 1952 series) #131 (December 1969)

Indexer Notes

Single panels, pages and covers from previous issues.

Steal These Tweets! (Table of Contents)

Pinch-Twitter Dept. / text article / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Dave Croatto

Pencils:

?

Inks:

?

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

satire; parody

Characters:

Twitter trademark bird

Synopsis:

A collection of snappy Tweets for unimaginative people to use.

What Condition Definitely Won't Be Covered By The New Obama Health Plan? (Table of Contents)

Mad Fold-In / activity / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

Al Jaffee (signed)

Pencils:

Al Jaffee (signed)

Inks:

Al Jaffee (signed)

Colors:

?

Letters:

typeset

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Characters:

Tiger Woods

Synopsis:

Answer is A Bruised Reputation.

Indexer Notes

inside back cover

Drawn-Out Dramas (Table of Contents)

Marginal Thinking Dept. / filler / 0 pages (report information)

Credits

Script:

Sergio Aragones

Pencils:

Sergio Aragones

Inks:

Sergio Aragones

Content Information

Genre:

humor

Indexer Notes

Gags appear on 8 different pages.

Ever Tried Sliding Down A Bobsled Run Naked? (Table of Contents)

5 Gum / advertisement / 1 page (report information)

Credits

Script:

?

Pencils:

? (photo)

Inks:

? (photo)

Colors:

? (photo)

Letters:

typeset

Editing:

?

Content Information

Synopsis:

Ad for gum from Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company.

Indexer Notes

back cover