Mad #53

(March 1960)

...Fleischman's Makes You A Big Guy! (Table of Contents: 1)

illustration / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

Kelly Freas (signed) (painting)

Inks

Kelly Freas (signed) (painting)

Letters

typeset

Genre

satire-parody

Synopsis

Parody of Fleischmann's Whiskey ad, using a midget and normal size bottle of whiskey.

Reprints

• in Mad Follies (EC, 1963 series) #1 (1963)

Indexer Notes

inside front cover

Departments (Table of Contents: 2)

table of contents / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

various (see Notes)

Inks

various (see Notes)

Letters

typeset

Indexer Notes

Art is from various stories in this issue.

For St. Valentine's Day... (Table of Contents: 3) (Expand) /

Son of MAD / promo (ad from the publisher) / 0.33 page (report information)

If Your Latest Flame Is Too Much For You Give Her A Subscription To MAD (Table of Contents: 4) (Expand) /

MAD Magazine / promo (ad from the publisher) / 0.17 page (report information)

Random Samplings of Reader Mail (Table of Contents: 5)

Letters Dept. / letters page / 0.75 page (report information)

Script

Al Feldstein

Pencils

Joe Orlando; Kelly Freas; George Woodbridge

Inks

Joe Orlando; Kelly Freas; George Woodbridge

Letters

typeset

Characters

Moxie Cowznofsky

Synopsis

Letters of comment, many about issue #51.

Indexer Notes

Art is excerpts from previous issues, except for image of US postage stamp commemorating dental health, which 2 readers note has a girl who resembles Moxie Cowznofsky.

The letters were written by George Stevens, Joel Kellmanson, Richard Lockwood, Michael Culling, Sam Schulman, Mike Decklinger, William Moorhead, Monty Stickles, Laurence Windsor, Jr., Bill Hersey, Ray Tackett, and Louise Ann Simon.

A St. Valentine's Day Heartbreaker! (Table of Contents: 6) (Expand) /

Alfred E. Neuman / promo (ad from the publisher) / 0.17 page (report information)

Statement of the Ownership, Management, Circulation, Etc. (Table of Contents: 7)

statement of ownership / 0.25 page (report information)

Script

Bill Gaines

Letters

typeset

Indexer Notes

Dated August 28, 1959. No circulation figures given.

If You're Worried About Being Caught This Leap Year... (Table of Contents: 8) (Expand) /

MAD hardcover books / promo (ad from the publisher) / 0.33 page (report information)

Personalized Merchandising (Table of Contents: 9)

What's In A Name Brand Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Script

Frank Jacobs

Pencils

Bob Clarke

Inks

Bob Clarke

Letters

typeset

Genre

satire-parody

Characters

Floyd Patterson

Synopsis

How brands could be matched to the celebrities who endorse them.

Indexer Notes

Brands include: Hoffa (tennis) rackets, Miles Davis (blows cool) air conditioners, Lombardo canned corn, Mansfield Thirty 8 autos, Rayburn (stereo) speakers, Nellie Fox White Sox, and Adlai (will not run) nylons.

Breakfast At Liggett's (Table of Contents: 10)

Don Martin Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Script

Don Martin (signed)

Pencils

Don Martin (signed)

Inks

Don Martin (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Synopsis

A diner cook has an odd way of preparing scrambled eggs.

Reprints

• in Three Ring Mad (New American Library, 1964 series) #Y6197 ([circa 1970])

MAD's Tips On Highway Safety (Table of Contents: 11)

Route Of All Evil Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Script

Tom Koch

Pencils

George Woodbridge (signed)

Inks

George Woodbridge (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Synopsis

The wrong ways to implement common safe driving tips.

Reprints

• in Three Ring Mad (New American Library, 1964 series) #Y6197 ([circa 1970])
• in Mad (BSV - Williams, 1967 series) #38 (Juni 1972)

New Movie Monsters From Madison Avenue (Table of Contents: 12)

It Came From Outta The Ad Space Dept. / comic story / 3 pages (report information)

Script

E. Nelson Bridwell

Pencils

Wally Wood (signed)

Inks

Wally Wood (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

satire-parody

Synopsis

Ideas for horror movies based on current advertising campaigns.

Reprints

• in More Trash from Mad (EC, 1958 series) #4 (1961)
• in Three Ring Mad (New American Library, 1964 series) #Y6197 ([circa 1970])
• in Mad (EC, 2018 series) #16 (December 2020)

Indexer Notes

Campaigns lampooned are Charles Atlas's bodybuilding, Armstrong tires, Stripe toothpaste, the Living Bra, Simmons mattresses, Green Giant vegetables, and Seagram’s Seven Whiskey.

What Would Happen If Teenagers Ran The Country (Table of Contents: 13)

Red, White, And Blue-Jeans Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Script

Dave Berg (signed)

Pencils

Dave Berg (signed)

Inks

Dave Berg (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Alfred E. Neuman; Leonard Bernstein, Jr.

Synopsis

A look at the progression of events if teenagers ran the world, resulting in adults acting like teenagers and MAD publishing an article titled "What Would Happen If Adults Ran The Country."

Reprints

• in Dave Berg's Mad Trash (Warner Books, 1977 series) (September 1977)
• in Dave Berg's Mad Trash (EC, 1981 series) (1981)

The Rifle, Man! (Table of Contents: 14)

Breech of Premise Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Script

Nick Meglin

Pencils

Mort Drucker (signed)

Inks

Mort Drucker (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

satire-parody

Characters

Lucas; Lucas's son; Annie Oakley

Synopsis

After a typical day of killin' folk, Lucas's wife comes to town and kills him because his TV show ratings were higher than hers.

Reprints

• in More Trash from Mad (EC, 1958 series) #4 (1961)
• in Three Ring Mad (New American Library, 1964 series) #Y6197 ([circa 1970])

Indexer Notes

Parody of the TV show "The Rifleman."
Writer credit from "Totally MAD" CD collection.

MAD's Society Page (Table of Contents: 15)

Black-And-Blue Bloods Dept. / comic story / 3 pages (report information)

Script

Larry Siegel

Pencils

Bob Clarke (signed)

Inks

Bob Clarke (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

satire-parody

Characters

Stephanie Duprey; Napoleon VII; Elizabeth Ann Sessingfors; Major General Francis Nottingham; Daphne Aldershot; Augustine Snootpelt; Zelda Zyttzger; Sparky Gahagan; Goldie Zelch; BooBoo Adair; Sophie Phoebe Pletz

Synopsis

Comparing a typical newspaper society page to what it might look like if it were about common people.

Reprints

• in Three Ring Mad (New American Library, 1964 series) #Y6197 ([circa 1970])
• in Mad (BSV - Williams, 1967 series) #48

Changing History For Commercial TV (Table of Contents: 16)

Pull The Plug Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Script

Larry Siegel

Pencils

Joe Orlando

Inks

Joe Orlando

Letters

typeset

Genre

satire-parody

Characters

President Abraham Oldsmobile; Ralph Waldo Motorola; J. Edgar Electrolux; Nicolaus Copernicus; Mrs. Copernicus; Lizzie Sealtest; General George Custer; Sir Kleenex; Mr. Jamison; Benjamin Franklin; John Allstate; Wild Bill Hickok

Synopsis

How TV shows would corrupt history if sponsors carefully changed the names of people and places to expunge any hint of their competitors.

Reprints

• in More Trash from Mad (EC, 1958 series) #4 (1961)

Valentines To People We've Fallen Out of Love With (Table of Contents: 17)

Change of Heart Dept. / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Script

Frank Jacobs

Pencils

Mort Drucker (signed)

Inks

Mort Drucker (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Fidel Castro; Elizabeth Taylor; Eddie Fisher; Earl Long; Gary Crosby; Dennis Crosby; Phillip Crosby; Lindsay Crosby; Elvis Presley; Jack Paar; Jerry Lewis; Dean Martin; Marlon Brando; Zsa Zsa Gabor ?; Brigitte Bardot ?; Imogene Coca; Sid Caesar

Synopsis

Valentines from the public to people we would mostly like to forget about.

Balcony Scene (Table of Contents: 18)

Don Martin Dept. / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

Don Martin (signed)

Pencils

Don Martin (signed)

Inks

Don Martin (signed)

Genre

humor

Synopsis

A princess grows a flower in a strange location.

Reprints

• in The Worst from MAD (EC, 1958 series) #8 (1965)

MAD Goes To An Alfred Hatchplot Movie (Table of Contents: 19)

Murder Will Out-Sell Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Script

Larry Siegel

Pencils

Wally Wood (signed)

Inks

Wally Wood (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

satire-parody

Characters

Sheldon Getzoff; Mrs. Getzoff; Alfred Hatchplot (lots of cameos); Sidney Zinn [Melvin]

Synopsis

In a case of mistaken identity, Sheldon is hounded by secret agents trying to kill him in a cross-country chase.

Reprints

• in Three Ring Mad (New American Library, 1964 series) #Y6197 ([circa 1970])
• in Mad (BSV - Williams, 1967 series) #58 (Februar 1974)

Indexer Notes

Uses scenes from Alfred Hitchcock's "North By Northwest."

Modern Sources of Untapped Energy (Table of Contents: 20)

More Power To You Dept. / comic story / 3 pages (report information)

Script

Sy Reit

Pencils

George Woodbridge (signed)

Inks

George Woodbridge (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Synopsis

Power derived from various sources of modern human activity.

Skiing (Table of Contents: 21)

Runners-Up Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Script

Dave Berg

Pencils

Bob Clarke (signed)

Inks

Bob Clarke (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Synopsis

Problems of skiing, MAD's tips for skiing, and new uses for your skis after you quit.

Reprints

• in Mad Follies (EC, 1963 series) #3 (1965)
• in Mad (BSV - Williams, 1967 series) #44

Hazards of Illuminated Signs (Table of Contents: 22)

Light Switch Dept. / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Script

Sy Reit

Pencils

Joe Orlando

Inks

Joe Orlando

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Synopsis

Examples of messages that get corrupted when lights burn out on illuminated signs.

Reprints

• in The Worst from MAD (EC, 1958 series) #4 (1961)
• in Three Ring Mad (New American Library, 1964 series) #Y6197 ([circa 1970])
• in Mad Special [Mad Super Special] (EC, 1970 series) #40 (Fall 1982)

Indexer Notes

Advertising slogans from the following are used:
TWA Airlines, Westinghouse Appliances, Ivory Soap, Winston Cigarettes, Schlitz Beer, Chock Full O' Nuts Coffee, Cunard Lines Cruises, Listerine Mouth Wash, MAD Magazine, Viceroy Cigarettes.

Down On Wall Street (Table of Contents: 23)

Don Martin Dept. / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

Don Martin (signed)

Pencils

Don Martin (signed)

Inks

Don Martin (signed)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Synopsis

A doctor reads a man's tongue as if it were a stock ticker tape.

Reprints

• in The Completely Mad Don Martin (Warner Books, 1974 series) (June 1974)
which is reprinted
• in De verste brølerne til Mad's Don Martin (Illustrerte Klassikere / Williams Forlag, 1974 series) (1974)

Marvin Talks About "Small Cars" (Table of Contents: 24)

Marginal Marvin Dept. / text article / 0 pages (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

?

Inks

?

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Marginal Marvin

Synopsis

Marvin makes a few jokes about the controversy over auto engines in the rear vs. front.

Indexer Notes

Appears in the margins of 22 pages.

Now...The Chiselers At MAD Present A Real Bust! (Table of Contents: 25) (Expand) /

Alfred E. Neuman bust / promo (ad from the publisher) / 1 page (report information)

Nikita Khrushchev Says: "It Was Easy As Borscht Taking Kossacolor Pictures Like These!" (Table of Contents: 26)

Kossacolor film / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

Kelly Freas (signed) (painting)

Inks

Kelly Freas (signed) (painting)

Colors

Kelly Freas (signed) (painting)

Letters

typeset

Genre

satire-parody

Characters

Nikita Khrushchev; Mrs. Khrushchev; Rada Khrushchev; Alexi Khrushchev; Julia Khrushchev; Admiral Rickover

Synopsis

Nikita Khrushchev shows how easy it is to take highly detailed pictures of military installations with Kossacolor film.

Indexer Notes

Parody of Kodacolor film ad.
Back cover.