Twisted Toyfare Theatre #3

(2003)

How Von Doom Stole Christmas (Table of Contents: 1)

Captain America; Fantastic Four; Planet of the Apes; Spider-Man; Star Trek / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

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Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero; science fiction

Characters

Cornelius; Green Goblin; Uhura; Human Torch; Dr. Doom; Muffit; Hulk; Iron Man; Bucky; Fonzy; Spider-Man

Synopsis

Dr. Doom hates Christmas. He decides to steal it from Megoville. He is interrupted by Bucky, but convinces him to go back to sleep. When he sees all the Megos singing, he changes his mind, but on his way back he gets in a collision with Spider-Man. He swerves out of control, and hits all the Megos, killing them all, except Bucky.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #6

Keywords

action figures; Christmas; fumetti; rhyming; Spider-Mobile; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Have a Nice Day (Table of Contents: 2)

Fantastic Four / photo story / 5 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

? (photos)

Colors

? (photos)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Dr. Doom; Mr. Fantastic; Spider-Man; Baron Zemo; Mister Hyde; Electro; Kraven; Mysterio; Klaw; Alex Power; Julie Power; Jack Power; Katie Power

Synopsis

In the laboratory, Doom points his destructive machine the wrong way. It hits him, and his head turns into a giant smiley ball. Spider-Man makes fun of him, and his fellow villains won't take him seriously and also make fun of him. When he gets back to his castle, he forgot his keys, and he steps in poop.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #10

Keywords

action figures; Dawson's Creek; fumetti; Pac-Man; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

¡Viva Mego! (Table of Contents: 3)

Fantastic Four / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

Paul Schiraldi (photos)

Inks

Paul Schiraldi (photos)

Colors

Paul Schiraldi (photos)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Dr. Doom; Silver Surfer; Mexican Spider-Man; Mexican Thor; Mexican Jon; Mexican Ponch; Mexican Mr. Fantastic; Mexican Invisible Woman; Mexican Fonzie; Taco Bell Dog; Speedy Gonzales; H.O.M.B.R.E.; Uatu

Synopsis

Dr. Doom creates a device that sends him back in time to 1952. He defeats all the toys of that era, which he feels will mean there will be no Megos in the present. However, when he gets back, he finds all the toys are now Mexican knock-offs. Doom realizes his mistake, and goes to Mexican Richards for help. Richards advises him to go back in time and stop himself. He kills his old self, and causes reality to cease to exist.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #33

Keywords

action figures; army men; Baxter Cabana; fumetti; Lincoln Logs; Mexico; mustache; nutcracker; piñata; Slinky; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Defenders Assemble! (Table of Contents: 4)

The Defenders / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Bill Jenson

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Spider-Man; Daredevil; Man-Thing; Dr. Strange; Hulk; Silver Surfer; Namor; Mr. Whiskers; Mr. Fantastic; Captain America; Vision; Scarlet Witch; Jarvis

Synopsis

Spider-Man receives a letter inviting him to tryout for the Defenders, and is enticed by the open bar. He is chosen over Man-Thing. They hang out playing Risk until they find out a cat needs saving. They end up sending it to a demon dimension. They fail to save John Denver from a plane crash due to their gas budget. They use a distress call from the other teams to go steal their stuff.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #47

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; Atlantis; Avengers; Cerebro; CNN.com; Colorado; Ding Dongs; eBay; Fantastic Four; Fantisticar; football phone; fumetti; H.E.R.B.I.E.; Infinity Gauntlet; John Denver; Milton Bradley; necrophiliac; Pepsi; Quaarog Dimension of Xevos; Risk; Rocky Mountain High; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; X-Men; Youngblood

That 70's Twisted Toyfare Theatre (Table of Contents: 5)

Fantastic Four / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Bill Jenson

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Reed Richards; Iron Man; Kang (adult); Vision; Red Skull; Captain America; Namor; Lizard; Teen Kang; Dr. Doom; Teen Victor Doom; Sue Storm; Falcon; C-3PO; R2-D2; Man-Thing; Punisher; Daredevil; Venom; Cyclops; Mephisto; Chuck Xavier; Northstar; Spider-Man

Synopsis

Kang travels back in time to 1977 to stop Reed Richards and Sue Storm from meeting at a dance contest. He trains his younger self. Meanwhile, Dr. Doom thinks his younger self should win the contest, and he accidentally kills his younger self. The contest takes place, with both Kang and Richards doing well, until Xavier takes the floor and wins. Sue is impressed with how well Reed lost. Xavier says this is the greatest day of his life, until he wakes up in bed, in the present. He kills himself.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #49

Keywords

1977; action figures; afros; dance; fumetti; gun; Mego University; pinball; suicide; trophy; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Snow Day (Table of Contents: 6)

Captain America; Spider-Man; X-Men / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Zach Oat; Bill Jenson; Robert Bricken

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Spider-Man; May Parker; Professor Xavier; Iron Man; Hulk; Captain America; Bucky; Red Skull; Jean-Pierre; Pez Charlie Brown; Pez Yoda; Pez Boba Fett; Pez Fred Flintstone; Juan Epstein; Freddie Washington [Boom Boom Washington]; Vinnie Barbarino; Arnold Horshack; Dr. Strange; Cyclops

Synopsis

Spider-Man and Xavier are watching TV at a ski resort when Captain America informs them Bucky is dead. Captain America, Iron Man, and Hulk tell differing stories about how he was killed. Captain America says he failed to save him from a death trap as he was beating up Red Skull. Iron Man says they were riding an invisible zebra when they were attacked by Pez and the Sweathogs. Hulk mistakes Bucky for Cyclops in his story. Dr. Strange holds a séance where they accidentally talk to Cyclops. Thirty minutes ago, we see Bucky killed in a hunting accident, and Cyclops is killed by Hulk.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #54

Keywords

24 tv show; action figures; alcohol; Barely Legal magazine; Billy Lichman; ESPN 2; fumetti; Mario Card; skiing; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

When Harry Met Spidey (Table of Contents: 7)

Spider-Man; Harry Potter / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Doug Goldstein; Bill Jenson; Robert Bricken

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Spider-Man; Lizard; Mephisto; Hulk; Dr. Strange; Hermione Granger; Ron Weasley; Draco; Sorting Hat; Sorting Sombrero; Iron Man; Dormammu; Huggy Bear; Northstar; Severus Snape; Red Skull; Green Goblin; Bo Duke; Luke Duke; Richie Cunningham; Harry Potter

Synopsis

Spider-Man accidentally gets a letter intended for Harry Potter, and heads off to Hogwarts for the free room and board. He eats dinner and gets sorted into Gryffindor. He tries Hulk-flavored beans. The next day he goes to Potions class, where he teaches them mixology. Dormammu teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts and Huggy Bear teaches how to make meth. During a Quidditch match, a broom impales Green Goblin, and Spider-Man uses it to fly away. Elsewhere, Harry's corpse rots in the cupboard under the stairs.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #55

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; Bertie Botts Every-Flavor Bean; broom; Darryl Strawberry; fumetti; meth; mixology; Orko; Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters; Quidditch; The Cider House Rules; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

'Til Death Do You Part (Table of Contents: 8)

Fantastic Four / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Zach Oat; Robert Bricken; Bill Jenson

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Dr. Doom; Spider-Man; Hulk; Iron Man; Captain America; Hawkeye; Mr. Fantastic; Thing; Alicia Masters; Invisible Woman; Punisher; Scarlet Witch; Thor; Luke Cage; Falcon; Mr. T; Human Torch; Uatu; Silver Surfer; Black Bolt; skrull; Galactus; Wolverine; Professor Xavier; Captain America; Green Goblin; H.E.R.B.I.E.; Namor; Nightcrawler; Venom; Mephisto; Bucky; Cyclops; Vision; Bat-Pumpkin; Dr. Strange; Northstar; Man-Thing; Iron Man; Dr. Doom; Lizard; Franklin Richards

Synopsis

Due to their previous Vegas wedding not being legal, Reed and Sue must remarry. Reed has a bachelor party and debates sleeping with a prostitute. During the wedding, Luke Cage, Falcon, Mr. T, and Human Torch remember their own nights with Sue. They have a Jewish wedding and break H.E.R.B.I.E. as a glass. The rabbi is about to pronounce the marriage when Namor bursts in and announces his love for Reed. They leave together. Suddenly, Dr. Doom launches the Baxter Building into space, killing everyone on board, but sparing Reed, who left.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #57

Keywords

action figures; Aquaman; bachelor party; Baxter Building; fumetti; Make-a-Wish; Quinjet; roofies; Spock; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Vegas

DVD-Day (Table of Contents: 9)

Spider-Man; Thor / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Zach Oat; Robert Bricken; Bill Jenson

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero; fantasy-supernatural

Characters

Spider-Man; Thor; Moss-Man; Prince Adam; Lieutenant Ilia; Kirk; Flint; Roadblock; Shipwreck; Wild Bill; Uatu; Luke Skywalker; Indiana Jones; Logray; Teebo; Chief Chirpa; Daredevil; Hulk; Galactus; Silver Surfer

Synopsis

Thor buys an XBox for its DVD playing abilities. He joins the DVD of the month club. Spider-Man and Thor watch "The Mossman Prophecies," "The Uncut, Super-Deluxe Director's Print Edition of Star Trek: The Motion Picture," and "Meet G.I. Joe Black." Uatu appears to warn them of impending disaster, but is distracted by the DVD player. They watch "The Fourteenth, Absolutely Authoritative Re-Mastering of Return of the Jedi," "Daredevil," and "Ang Lee's Hulk." Uatu is accidentally stealing Galactus' DVDs.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #58

Keywords

"Batman Forever"; "Black Bolt Down"; "Citizen Kang"; "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon"; "Duke Where's My Car?"; "Enemy AT-AT at the Gates"; "He-Man in the Iron Mask"; "Mer-Man with the Golden Gun"; "Orko II Electric Boogaloo"; "Snow White and the Seven Worfs"; "The Falcon & the Snowman"; "The Perfect Stormtrooper"; "Thelma & Louise"; "Titanic"; action figures; Arby's; Beast-Man; Dragon Ball Z; frank and beans; fumetti; porn; Thanos; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; XBox

Indexer Notes

One G.I. Joe character has not been identified.

Trek or Treat (Table of Contents: 10)

Star Trek / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Zach Oat; Robert Bricken

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

? (photos)

Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; science fiction

Characters

Uhura; Abraham Lincoln; Spock; James T. Kirk; Dr. McCoy [Bones]; Scott [Scotty]; Lizard; Gorn; Spider-Man; Namor; Northstar; Hawkeye; Iron Man; Captain America; Ant Man; Wasp; Dr. Doom

Synopsis

Space Lincoln sends Kirk and crew back to 2002 to save the whales. They go to a strip club, meet several Marvel characters, beam the whales to the ship, and give out tribbles. Suddenly, the Marvel characters start disappearing.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #59 (July 2002)

Keywords

action figures; bald eagles; Enterprise; fumetti; sandwich; strip club; time travel; tribbles; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; whales

Mego Super Heroes The Secret Wars (Table of Contents: 11)

photo story / 12 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Robert Bricken; Adam Patyk; Bill Jensen

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Editing

Doug Goldstein; Matthew Senreich

Genre

humor

Characters

Beyonder; Mr. Fantastic; Namor; Invisible Woman; Daredevil; Captain America; Human Torch; Hawkeye; Watcher; Thing; Dr. Doom; Scarlet Witch; Man-Thing; Kang; Mephisto; Wendigo; Thor; Skrull; Falcon; Dr. Strange; Hulk; Northstar; Bucky; Black Bolt; Giant Man; Iron Man; Green Goblin; Lizard; May Parker; Red Skull; Punisher; Vision; Spider-Man; Silver Surfer; Kingpin; Galactus; Ant Man; Professor Xavier; Bo Duke; Wasp; Wolverine; Phoenix; Colossus; Cyclops; Storm; Nightcrawler; Alan Moore; Timmy; Huggy Bear; Freddie Washington [Boom Boom]; Conan; Rick Jones; Iron Chef; Redwing; Marvel Executive; Spider-Man Red; Spider-Man Blue; G.I. Joe

Synopsis

Marvel heroes have been summoned by the Beyonder to battle each other. Except all the ones who can swim or fly, leaving only a few left. Spider-Man and Dr. Doom are chosen as captains, and they pick their teams. Hawkeye fights Bo Duke, Green Goblin fights Punisher, and the X-Men show up but are sent away. The teams play kickball. Alan Moore is decapitated, Mr. Fantastic and Dr. Doom play Scrabble, and Spider-Man switches costumes several times. More "battle" occur. Dr. Doom’s team wins and advances to the next round against the G.I. Joe.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #60 (August 2002)

Keywords

action figures; archery; badminton; basketball; egg toss; fumetti; gecko; kickball; miniature golf; paintball; Pontiac Aztec; poultry battle; Scrabble; Secret Wars; tank; Tony Hawk 3; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; yo' momma slams

The Cold War (Table of Contents: 12)

G.I. Joe [Hasbro]; Spider-Man / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Robert Bricken; Jon Gutierrez

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

? (photos)

Colors

? (photos)

Letters

typeset

Editing

Doug Goldstein; Matthew Senreich

Genre

humor; military; superhero

Characters

Spider-man; Dr. Mindbender; Cobra Commander; Wild Weasel; Snake Eyes; Crystal Ball; Tomax; Xamot

Synopsis

Spider-man find out he has a COBRA base in his walls. They steal his cable, run up his phone bill, flush the toilet when he is in the shower, and eat his food. He tries to get rid of them, but ends up allowing them to stay in exchange for rent, grocery money, and cleaning his gutters.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #65 (January 2003)

Keywords

3-D Doritos; action figures; fumetti; Gilmore Girls; kittens; Lays; Ms. Cleo; Sex in the City; shop vac; shower; tuna fish; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Hello Kitty (Table of Contents: 13)

X-Men / photo story / 9 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Robert Bricken; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Editing

Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Carmen Pryde; Theresa Pryde; Kitty Pryde; Professor Xavier; Colossus; Jamie Madrox; Jean Grey; Gladiator; Hobgoblin; Fang; Flashfire; Psylocke; Magneto; Storm; Beast; Cyclops; Cannonball; Doug Ramsey; Brood; Gambit; Rogue; Nightcrawler; White Queen

Synopsis

Professor Xavier takes Kitty and her family on a tour of his school. She meets Colossus and Jean Grey. They see the sentinels and a mind-wiped Magneto serving as the janitor. Storm steals their wallet, purse, and virginity, respectively. Doug is killed by a brood that comes out of Cannonball. Wolverine is too busy with his inner monologue to talk. The Prydes decide the school is crazy and to send Kitty to the Hellfire Academy instead.

Keywords

action figures; Canadians; Claremont; Danger Room; dog; Falcon; fumetti; Hellfire Academy; Jews; Legion of Super-Heroes; PBS; pirate; Poland Spring; Redwing; sandwich; sentinels; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Wolfsbane