Twisted Toyfare Theatre #5

(2005)

Super Villain Jeopardy! (Table of Contents: 1)

Captain America; Fantastic Four / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Alex Trebek; Red Skull; M.O.D.O.K.; Dr. Doom; Jon; Ponch

Synopsis

Alex Trebek leads Red Skull, M.O.D.O.K., and Dr. Doom in a game of Jeopardy. Three of the categories are "W.W.I.I. Sleepers," "Marvel Comics Acronyms," and "Cosmic Cube Mishaps." M.O.D.O.K. and Red Skull get answers, but Doom's buzzer won't work. His wires were cut, and he blames M.O.D.O.K. even though it was Red Skull. He takes over M.O.D.O.K.'s booth. When he fails to answer in the form of a question, he loses. He throws a fit, and Jon and Ponch subdue him.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #1 [This was indexed via a reprint, so there may be slight differences.]

Keywords

action figures; Estradia; fumetti; Jeopardy; Reed Richards; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Vanna

A Federation of Flavor (Table of Contents: 2)

Star Trek / photo story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

? (photos)

Colors

? (photos)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; science fiction

Characters

Private Henderson; gorn; Kirk; Spock

Synopsis

A gorn is about to eat another alien. Private Henderson gives them both Hostess Fruit Pies, and the small alien is saved. Kirk drops a boulder on all three of them, adding to his kill amount.

Keywords

action figures; fumetti; Hostess Fruit Pies; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Indexer Notes

There is an alien that has not been identified.

The Nut Shot (Table of Contents: 3)

photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Justin Aclin; Zach Oat

Pencils

Paul Schiraldi (photos)

Inks

Paul Schiraldi (photos)

Colors

Paul Schiraldi (photos)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Hulk; Thor; Kraven; Quicksilver; Spider-Man; Silver Surfer; Dr. Strange; Namor; Spock; Jarvis; Iron Man; Captain America; Vision; Falcon; Hawkeye; Redwing; Bob Saget [Alex Trebek]

Synopsis

Hulk and Thor watch "America's Funniest Home Videos," and a video of Quicksilver kicking Kraven in the nuts wins. Hulk decides to make his own video. Thor records him stealing Dr. Strange's pants. They try to convince Spock a dog is talking. Hulk kicks Jarvis in the nuts and kills him, and his corpse falls into an Avengers picnic. As they tie kittens to a rocket, Redwing attacks Hulk, and goes up his butt. Hawkeye gets it on tape and wins the contest.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #20

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; America's Funniest Home Videos; Dormammu; Eye of Agamotto; fumetti; Greenwich Village; Human Torch; Olsen twins; Taco Bell; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Indexer Notes

There is an unidentified female character. It is most likely Batgirl who has been recostumed for the reprint to avoid a lawsuit with DC Comics. There is also a character getting robbed, but that may or may not be a specific character.

Pets or Meat (Table of Contents: 4)

photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Dr. Doom; Ash; Misty; Pikachu; Spider-Man; Aunt May; Captain America; Vision; Scarlet Witch; Hulk; Ant-Man; Li'l Spider-Man; Mego Pal Thor; Mego Pal Wolverine; Mego Pal Captain America; Mego Pal Magneto; Mego Pal Thanos; Mego Pal Cyclops; Mego Pal Wolverine; Mego Pal Hulk; Mego Pal Galactus; Mego Pal Silver Surfer; Ricky Jones; Franklin Richards; Mego Pal Doom; Mr. Fantastic; Daredevil; Red Skull; Venom; Boss Hogg; Kang; Iron Man; Mego Pal Iron Man; Mephisto; Green Goblin; Lizard; Northstar

Synopsis

Ash and Misty leave Pikachu with Dr. Doom and Doom dissects him to discover the secret of his success. He decides to make Mego Pals to make money. The Avengers try to stop him, but Hulk thinks Ant-Man is one, and eats him. Doom has a mail order service, but the Mego Pals don't fair so well in the mail. Mego Pal Thor is solicited by Rick Jones. Mego Pal Doom destroys Franklin's teddy bear, so Reed sues Doom. To raise more money, he holds cock fights with the Mego Pals.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #41

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; cock fighting; DVD player; fumetti; Kentucky; Stark Industries; subpoena; teddy bear; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; VCR

Weapon Echhhh! (Table of Contents: 5)

Fantastic Four; X-Men / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Bill Jenson

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Negative Zone Alien; Thing; Mr. Fantastic; Kang; Dr. Doom; Lizard; Invisible Woman; H.E.R.B.I.E.; Alicia Masters; Human Torch; Franklin Richards; Wolverine; Northstar; Hombre Spectacular Incredible; Gary; Professor Malcolm X; Cyclops; Storm; Donatello; Michelangelo; Chewbacca

Synopsis

Reed gets Thing to baby-sit Franklin as he and Sue attend science awards. He puts him to bed early so he can watch the Jets game. Franklin asks for a bedtime story about Wolverine. Wolverine was the last survivor of Planet Mongo, rocketed to Earth, and was raised by farm people. He received his adamantium skeleton in Mexico, and joined the team Arriba Flight. Later he joined Professor Malcolm X's X-Men, and was killed in the future by a big robot. Thing tells Franklin everyone dies.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #51

Keywords

action figures; chickens; Dos Equis; fumetti; Jets; marijuana; Marlon Brando; Mexico; Negative Zone; sentinels; tequila; Topeka; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

A Clone in the Dark (Table of Contents: 6)

Star Wars / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Robert Bricken; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; adventure; science fiction

Characters

Spider-Man; Cobra Commander; Storm Shadow; Flint; Scarlet; Greedo; Han Solo; Roadblock; Baroness; Doikk Na'ts; Ortolan; Obi-Wan Kenobi; wompa; Dr. Strange; Human Torch; Thing; Cyclops; Iron Man; Bucky; Vision; Hulk; Thor; Yoda; Anakin Skywalker; Kit Fisto; Oola; Padmé Amidala; Darth Sidious; Scarlet Spider; Taun We; Plo Koon; Saesee Tiin; Jango Fett; Boba Fett; Mace Windu; C-3PO; Admiral Ackbar; Jar Jar Binks

Synopsis

Spider-Man is in the stands during the fight of Geonosis. He jumps into the ring and begins to explain the problems with the movie. Some of his complaints are too many similar death scenes, Padmé falling and not dying, and Jango being a stupid name. Anakin is seated next to Tuskan Raiders. Palpatine calls his army of Spider-Man clones. Hulk uses Taun We to clean his ears. Jango Fett is beheaded and C-3PO makes dumb jokes. The orcs join the fray. Elsewhere, Jar Jar pens a letter to George Lucas.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #61

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; CGI; egg salad; fumetti; George Lucas; Gladiator; green screen; Howard the Duck 2; Lays; Mountain Dew; orcs; tuskan raiders; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Indexer Notes

Numerous characters in the stands have not yet been identified.

A Lizard in Every Pot (Table of Contents: 7)

Spider-Man / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Editing

Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Spider-Man; Lizard [Captain Spectacular]; Iron Man; Scarlet Witch; Captain America; Hannibal Smith; Templeton Peck; B.A. Baracus; Dr. Strange; Silver Surfer; Namor; Iceman; Hulk; Professor X; Franklin Richards; Electro

Synopsis

The Lizard decides he isn't cut out to be a super villain. He tries out new identities and settles on Captain Spectacular. He has the ability to regenerate. He decides to join the Defenders, who are holding a telethon, but then they kick him out. He "saves" Franklin from Electro, but then they are both squashed by the Quinjet.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #68 (April 2003)

Keywords

24 Seven; action figures; Buffy; cat; Daily Bugle; fumetti; lizard-a-rang; M&M's; Quinjet; regeneration; Sailor Moon; Shazam; telethon; toilet; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Ticket Masters of Evil (Table of Contents: 8)

Doctor Strange; Kiss / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Robert Bricken; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Editing

Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Genre

humor; fantasy-supernatural; superhero; horror-suspense

Characters

Dr. Strange; Dormammu; Hulk; Dr. Doom; Thing; Mr. Fantastic; Human Torch; Invisible Woman; Franklin Richards; Captain America; Spider-Man; Electro; Lizard; Avril Lavigne; Iron Man; Gene Simmons; Ace Frehley; Paul Stanley; Peter Criss; May Parker; Statler; Waldorf

Synopsis

Hulk wins four tickets to a KISS concert. He invites along Dr. Strange and Dormammu, and they look for a fourth person, finally settling on Spider-Man. Avril Lavigne is the opening act. KISS plays. Aunt May flashes the crowd. Dr. Strange realizes everyone there seems to be chemically altered, so he casts a spell to purify them. Once sober, KISS disintegrates and everyone decides the music was bad and riots.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #69 (May 2003)

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; American flag; Baxter building; concert; dark dimension; drugs; fumetti; hot dog; KISS; riot; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Chips Ahoy! (Table of Contents: 9)

Dukes of Hazzard; Chips / photo story / 7 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez; Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Jon; Ponch; Coy; Vance; Boss Hogg; Michael Knight; KITT; Hunter [Matt Trakker]; Skeletor; Panthor; Captain America; Bucky; Shipwreck; Scarlett; Snake Eyes; Timber; Duke; Cobra Commander; Storm Shadow; Mindbender; Northstar; Banshee; Dr. Doom; Danny Glover; Bumblebee; Thelma; Louise;

Synopsis

Jon and Ponch chase Coy and Vance on the motorcycles, but stop when the others drive off a cliff. Ponch throws Michael Knight in jail after KITT insults him. They also stop Hunter and Skeletor. They mediate a parade dispute between G.I. Joe and Cobra, while a gay pride parade takes place elsewhere. Dr. Doom gets off with diplomatic immunity. They boot Bumblebee. Thelma and Louise drive off the cliff. Bumblebee gets the chicks, Banshee and Northstar have a night of passion, Captain America and Panthor join forces, Hogg moves on, Knight gets married, and Glover never finds the cab.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #80 (April 2004)

Keywords

action figures; angel dust; car boot; cars; Confederate flag; Coors lite; diplomatic immunity; driver's ed; Ferrrari; fourth wall; fumetti; gay pride; George W. Bush; jail; Latveria; motorcycles; parade; Ram Man; taxi; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; wedding; wine cooler

Risky Business (Table of Contents: 10)

G.I. Joe; He-Man and the Masters of the Universe; The Smurfs; Transformers / photo story / 10 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez; Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; military; sword and sorcery; fantasy-supernatural; science fiction

Characters

Cobra Commander [Golobulus]; Megatron; Skeletor; Gargamel; Azrael; Calcium-Deficient Smurf; Beast Man; Mekaneck; Prince Adam [He-Man]; Skinkor; Cy-Kill; Darth Vader; General Nguyễn Ngọc Loan; Nguyễn Văn Lém; Major Bludd; Baron Karza

Synopsis

Cobra Commander, Megatron, Skeletor, and Gargamel play Risk and tell stories. Gargamel tells the story about how he caught and ate a smurf, which gave him a high. Skeletor thinks about when he ate Mekaneck. Megatron implies he will blow up the planet if he loses. Skeletor tells of how he captured Adam and then He-Man beat him. They all hide when Cy-Kill arrives, and Cobra Commander tells about he shared an elevator with Darth Vader. Skeletor burns the skin off the pizza boy's head. They win a prize for the millionth "Apocalypse Now" parody. Azrael eats and poops out Baron Karza.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #82 (June 2004)

Keywords

action figures; Apocalypse Now; Australia; chicken; drugs; elevator; fumetti; lemon juice; litter box; Megoville Times; Pepsi; pizza; Risk; Smurfette; smurfs; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; vinegar

If This Be My Roast! (Table of Contents: 11)

Fantastic Four / photo story / 7 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez; Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Dr. Doom; Uhura; Kirk; Tarantula; Red Skull; Venom; Lizard; Klaw; Kraven the Hunter; Green Goblin; Hobgoblin; Whirlwind; Baron Zemo; Kang the Conqueror; Magneto; Electro; Vulture; Doctor Octopus; Kingpin; Daredevil; Sauron (Lord of the Rings); Sauron (Marvel); Doombot 748; Justin Timberlake; Cynthia Von Doom; Mephisto; Thing; Human Torch; Invisible Woman; Mr. Fantastic; Franklin Richards

Synopsis

Red Skull hosts the roast of Dr. Doom. Klaw's sound hand gets too close to the microphone, messing up the sound. They mailed the invitation to the wrong Sauron and Lizard insults the wrong villain. Red Skull gives him credit for launching the Baxter Building into space, but it was really the Doombots. When they point this out, he blows up two with a remote. Kirk exposes Uhura's breast and Timberlake does the same to Kingpin. Doom tries to kill the last Doombot, but accidentally launches the building into space. On Earth, he is hailed as a hero for killing all the supervillains.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #83 (July 2004)

Keywords

action figures; bar mitzvah; Baxter Building; Elk Lodge; Fritos; fumetti; Howard Stern; Reed Richards; time-jump; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

I Am Legend Part One (Table of Contents: 12)

photo story / 9 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez; Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Storm (Famous Covers); Green Goblin (Famous Covers); Wolverine (Famous Covers); Hulk (Marvel Legends); Thor (Marvel Legends); Captain America (Marvel Legends); Iron Man (Marvel Legends); Blade (Marvel Legends); Goliath (Marvel Legends); Ant-Man; Thor (Mego); Captain America (Mego); Scarlet Witch (Mego); Vision (Mego); Jarvis (Mego); Redbird; Falcon (Mego); Iron Man (Mego); Dr. Strange (Mego); Punisher (Marvel Legends); Venom (Marvel Legends); Silver Surfer (Mego); Hulk (Mego); Namor (Mego); Gambit (Marvel Legends); Beast (Marvel Legends); Rogue (Marvel Legends); Colossus (Marvel Legends); Cyclops (X-Men Classics); Cyclops (Mego); Wolverine (Mego); Colossus (Mego); Storm (Mego); Phoenix (Mego); Iceman (Mego); Thing (Marvel Legends); Mr. Fantastic (Marvel Legends); Human Torch (Marvel Legends); Human Torch (Mego); Think (Mego); Mr. Fantastic (Mego); Invisible Woman (Marvel Legends); Invisible Woman (Mego); Uatu; Ghost Rider; Ponch; Skeletor; Rhino; Mr. Hyde; Red Skull; Abomination; Tarantula; Daredevil (Marvel Legends); Daredevil (Mego); Magneto; Carnage; Man-Thing; Sabretooth; Alan Moore; Spider-Man

Synopsis

Outside of Megoville, Famous Cover figures are defeated by the Marvel Legend Avengers. When they go to the Avengers mansion, the Mego Avengers flee. The Defenders are attacked, and the X-Men teams fight. The Fantastic Four teams watch the Invisible Women fight. Ghost Rider, Ponch, and Skeletor form a motorcycle gang. Rhino and Red Skull fight Mr. Hyde, Abomination fights Tarantula, the Daredevils fail to fight each other, and Magneto, Carnage, and Sabretooth fight Man-Thing, who is saved by Alan Moore. The Avengers take over Spider-Man's house, and he puts on his web-shooters.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #84 (August 2004)

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; Avengers Mansion; Famous Covers; fumetti; Hell's Kitchen; kickball; Marvel Legends by Toy Biz; Megoville; motorcycle gang; pizza rolls; Quinjet; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; web-shooters

Indexer Notes

The Cyclops figure is not actually from Marvel Legends.

I Am Legend Part Two (Table of Contents: 13)

photo story / 9 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez; Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Mr. Fantastic (Mego); Klaw (Mego); Dr. Strange (Mego); Electro (Mego); Punisher (Marvel Legends); Human Torch (Mego); Hawkeye (Mego); Green Goblin (Mego); Namor (Mego); Hulk (Marvel Legends); Thor (Marvel Legends); Storm (Famous Covers); Green Goblin (Famous Covers); Wolverine (Famous Covers); Captain America (Marvel Legends); Iron Man (Marvel Legends); Blade (Marvel Legends); Goliath (Marvel Legends); Spider-Man (Mego); Captain America (Mego); Thor (Mego); Vision (Mego); Mephisto (Mego); Wolverine (Mego); Nightcrawler (Mego); Cyclops (Mego); Iron Man (Mego); Dr. Doom (Secret Wars); Wolverine (Secret Wars); Falcon (Secret Wars); Thing (Marvel Legends); Hobgoblin (Secret Wars); Daredevil (Secret Wars); Captain America (Secret Wars); Silver Surfer (Secret Wars); Falcon (Secret Wars); Wolverine (Marvel Legends); Lizard (Mego); Franklin Richards (Mego); H.E.R.B.I.E. (Mego); H.E.R.B.I.E. (Marvel Legends); Dr. Doom (Mego); Dr. Doom (Marvel Legends); Spider-Man (Marvel Legends); Mr. Fantastic (Marvel Legends); Electra (Marvel Legends); Thing (Marvel Legends); Red Skull (Marvel Legends); Rhino (Marvel Legends); Cyclops (X-Men Classics); Silver Surfer (Marvel Legends); Magneto (Marvel Legends); Human Torch (Marvel Legends); Abomination (Marvel Legends); Colossus (Marvel Legends); Venom (Marvel Legends); Daredevil (Marvel Legends); Namor (Marvel Legends); Marvel Comics Executive; Alex Trebek

Synopsis

Spider-Man joins the Avengers to defeat the Marvel Legends. Spider-Man and Captain America go to Westchester to find the X-Men have been crucified on an advertisement for Fox. Spider-Man and Iron Man then go to a cave where they enlist the aid of the Secret Wars figures, but they are slaughtered. Spider-Man tricks the Wolverine variants into fighting themselves. Lizard gets Thor's powers and the H.E.R.B.I.E.s kill Franklin. Others fight, but all seems lost when all the Megos are defeated except Spider-Man, who is surrounded. Then a Marvel Executive arrives, and relaunches Toyfare.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #85 (September 2004)

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; Baxter Building; Brian Michael Bendis; Charisma Carpenter; DC Megos; Fox tv; fumetti; Irish; Jeopardy; King of Queens; Lindsay Lohan; Megoville; Playboy; porn; relauch; Secret Wars Jesus; Taco Bell; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Van Helsing; web-shooters; Westchester; Wizard Magazine

Indexer Notes

Other crucified characters have not been identified.

The Cyclops figure is not actually from Marvel Legends.

The Cold War (Table of Contents: 14)

G.I. Joe / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (screencaps from the G.I. Joe cartoon)

Inks

? (screencaps from the G.I. Joe cartoon)

Colors

? (screencaps from the G.I. Joe cartoon)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; military

Characters

Serpentor; Cobra Commander; Baroness; Mindbender; Firefly; Snowjob

Synopsis

Cobra and G.I. Joe fight in the snow.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #78 (February 2004)

Keywords

Boggart; Eminem; screencaps; Slideshow; snow; snow pants

Indexer Notes

This comic is screenshots of the G.I. Joe with different dialogue added.

Soup to Nuts (Table of Contents: 15)

Akira / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (screencaps from the Akira cartoon)

Inks

? (screencaps from the Akira cartoon)

Colors

? (screencaps from the Akira cartoon)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; science fiction

Synopsis

The customers want soup, but there is no soup. The employees panic. A soup riot ensues. The next day, a nuclear bomb destroys everything.

Keywords

screencaps; Slideshow; soup