Twisted Toyfare Theatre #6

(2005)

Hit Me Baby One More Time! (Table of Contents: 1)

Fantastic Four / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez; Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Dr. Doom; Uatu; Thing; Franklin Richards; Britney Spears; Dr. Strange; Namor; Hulk; Silver Surfer; Boss Hogg; Green Goblin; Iron Man; Ghost Rider [Fonzie]; Kang the Conquerer; Man-Thing; Punisher; Spider-Man; Thor; Sarge Joseph Getraer; May Parker; Spock; Bucky; Galactus; Professor Xavier

Synopsis

When Uatu warns Thing Doom may be up to something at the mall, Thing goes and takes Franklin. They crush Britney Spears with the Fantasticar. The Defenders have locked their keys in the car and Iron Man beats up a busboy he thinks is the Mandarin. Hulk blows out Ghost Rider's flame. No one wants Doom's signature. Franklin bursts into flames when he touches Man-Thing. There is a line to meet Britney Spears, but she is dead, so Thing puts on a wig and impersonates her. Aunt May cuts her up and Punisher beats her up.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #38

Keywords

action figures; Barnes and Noble; Chinese food; Chuck E. Cheese; Cinnabun; Defender's Van; Digimon; Fantasticar; frozen yogurt; fumetti; mall; Mandarin; MTV; pizza; Reed Richards; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

The Hunt for Red Ork-Tober (Table of Contents: 2)

photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum (head writer); Tom Root (Head Writer); Zach Oat (Head Writer); Robert Bricken (contributing writer); Adam Patyk (contributing writer); Jon Gutierrez (contributing writer); Justin Aclin (Contributing Writer)

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Editing

Doug Goldstein; Matthew Senreich

Genre

humor

Characters

Iron Man; Captain America; Fin Fang Foom; Scarlet Witch; Thor; Vision; Visionaries; Spider-Man; Hawkeye; Skeletor; Clamp Jaw; Orko; Punisher; Bucky; Allstar Seaworthy; Casey; Tooter Shelby; Dimmy; Marshall Bravestarr; Cheer Bear

Synopsis

The Avengers are about to fight Fin Fang Foom, only to discover the Quinjet is gone. Elsewhere, Spider-Man and Hawkeye start a hunting trip at Skeletor's game reserve. They hunt Orko, kill Snorks, and are attacked by Cheer Bear. Orko saves him, but they kill him anyway.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #62 (October 2002)

Keywords

action figures; Care Bear stare; fumetti; game hunting; Quinjet; Snorks; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

You Got Served! (Table of Contents: 3)

G.I. Joe / comic story / 2 pages (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (screencaps from the G.I. Joe cartoon)

Inks

? (screencaps from the G.I. Joe cartoon)

Colors

? (screencaps from the G.I. Joe cartoon)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; military

Characters

Snake Eyes; Timber; Polly; Shipwreck; Destro; Cobra Commander; Scarlett; Duke; Zartan; Lady Jaye

Synopsis

When they are denied entrance into Destro's restaurant, Shipwreck and Snake Eyes pretend to be dancers. Destro is about to kick them out, but lets them stay because they are good. Duke's group enters, and Scarlett picks an animal to eat, but is attacked by its dad. Flint hallucinates. Polly poops on Destro's head and demands brown M&Ms.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #88 (December 2004)

Keywords

crème brûléel; dancing; M&Ms; screenshots; Slideshow

Indexer Notes

Several characters have not been identified yet.

Cobra Commander Beyond Terrordome (Table of Contents: 4)

G.I. Joe / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Adam Patyk; Jon Gutierrez

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Editing

Matthew Senreich; Doug Goldstein

Genre

military

Characters

Cobra Commander; Detro; Baroness; Zartan; Roadblock; Shipwreck; Serpentor; Buzzer; Ripper; Torch; Snake Eyes; Skeletor; He-Man; Tomax; Xamot; Major Bludd; Mindbender

Synopsis

Cobra Commander is woken up in the middle of the night by Destro and the Baroness playing tennis. He steals Bludd's sandwich and reads Toyfare. He plays with the weather dominator, messing up the weather for the Joes. Serpentor beats him at Scrabble. He tries on different hats, yells at the Dreadnoks for doing donuts in the yard, and flips off Snake Eyes. He watches Trading Spaces and falls asleep on the couch. Tomax and Xamot use the opportunity to draw on his mask.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #74 [Cover 1 - G.I. Joe vs. Transformers] (October 2003)

Keywords

action figures; fourth wall; fumetti; motorcycles; prank; Scrabble; tennis; Trading Spaces; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

These Boots Were Made for Daywalkin'! (Table of Contents: 5)

Blade / photo story / 7 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Doug Goldstein; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; horror-suspense

Characters

Count Chocula; Blade [Wesley Snipes]; Frankenberry; Moebius; Morpheus; Morbius; Eddie Munster; Vladimir Dracula; The Count; Oscar the Grouch

Synopsis

Blade kills Count Chocula. He goes after Morbius, first mistaking Moebius and Morpheus for him. Morbius escapes out the bathroom window. Blade kills Vladimir Dracula. He chops off The Count's puppeteer's hand, and then his head. He decapitates Oscar the Grouch too.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #88 (December 2004)

Keywords

"Art of War"; "Demolition Man"; "Drop Zone"; "Money Train"; "Rising Sun"; "White Men Can't Jump"; action figures; Cocoa Puff; Daily Bugle; fumetti; M&M's; Taco Bell; toilet; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Willie Mayes Hayes

Deleted Scenes: Episode III (Table of Contents: 6)

Star Wars / photo story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; adventure; science fiction

Characters

Mace Windu; Plo Koon; Adi Gallia; Emperor Palpatine; Mittens [Darth Mittens]

Synopsis

Mace Windu, Plo Koon, and Adi Gallia go to arrest Palpatine. He tries to stop them, but his cat has taken his lightsaber. They arrest him, and Windu kicks Mittens into lava. Mittens arises as Darth Mittens.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #95 (July 2005)

Keywords

action figures; fumetti; lightsaber; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

The Daredevil's Advocate (Table of Contents: 7)

Daredevil / photo story / 7 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Doug Goldstein; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Daredevil [Matt Murdock]; Jennifer Walters [She-Hulk]; Richard Moll; Ben Affleck; Dave Quintesson; Stan Lee; Karen Page; Nightcrawler; Mephisto; Mysterio; Baron Zemo; Green Goblin; Red Skull; Whirlwind; Tarantula; Spider-Man;

Synopsis

Daredevil finally gets his audio descriptive copy of the Daredevil movie. He sues Ben Affleck for character defamation. Jennifer Walters defends Affleck, the judge is Quintesson, and the jury is various Marvel villains. Stan Lee, Karen Page, and Spider-Man are called as witnesses. Murdock calls Daredevil as witness, but is constantly changing, badly, where the entire courtroom can see him. The judge sides with Murdock, and then, because she lost, She-Hulk rips Affleck in half, which reveals that he is a robot. Daredevil uses the money to film a porn movie.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #91 (March 2005)

Keywords

"Good Will Hunting"; "Reindeer Games"; action figures; Chuck Austen; Elektra; fumetti; Jennifer Garner; Juggernaut; Kingpin; porn; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Indecent Proposal (Table of Contents: 8)

Spider-Man / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (screenshots from the Spider-Man cartoon)

Inks

? (screenshots from the Spider-Man cartoon)

Colors

? (screenshots from the Spider-Man cartoon)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Kingpin; Doctor Octopus; Spider-Man; J. Jonah Jameson

Synopsis

Doctor Octopus tries to get Kingpin and J. Jonah Jameson to pay him money not to kill Spider-Man. When that fails, he sells him to Kingpin as a meal.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #84 (August 2004)

Keywords

ransom; screenshots; Slideshow

Indexer Notes

This comic is screenshots of the 1994 Spider-Man cartoon with different dialogue added.

Dude, Where's My Thor? (Table of Contents: 9)

Spider-Man; Thor / photo story / 8 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Andrew Kardon; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero; fantasy-supernatural

Characters

Loki; Spider-Man; Thing; Black Bolt; Rainbow Brite; Fandral; Hogun; Volstagg; Doctor Doom; Odin; Beta Ray Bill; Thor; Surtur; Gandolf; Hulk; Moon Knight

Synopsis

Loki changes Spider-Man's speed dial so instead of ordering pizza, he calls Black Bolt. To get Loki to leave him alone, Spider-Man agrees to help him find Thor. They travel to Asgard, and are propositioned by Rainbow Brite. The Warriors Three are spitting on Doom's sandwich. Thor is attacked by frogs that look like Thor. They find Odin, who embarrasses Loki. When Spider-Man offends him, he curses him to be a mortal doctor. They track Thor down, but mistake Beta Ray Bill before finding him. Spider-Man promises to include him again, and Loki is eaten by Surtur.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #92 (April 2005)

Keywords

action figures; Asgard; Balder; burritos; fumetti; Junior Mints; Rainbow Bridge; Reed Richards; sandwich; Skittles; Smurfs; The Apprentice; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Nobody Does it Vader (Table of Contents: 10)

Star Wars / photo story / 7 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Andrew Kardon; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; adventure; science fiction

Characters

Stormtrooper; Sandtrooper; Scouttrooper; Snowtrooper; Emperor's Royal Guard; Average Moff Piett; Ariq Joanson; Darth Vader; Anakin Skywalker (child); C-3PO; Anakin Skywalker (teenager); Commander Kruge; Worf; Gowron; Anakin Skywalker (senior citizen); Oola; Shakka; Theelin; Lando Calrissian; Nien Nunb

Synopsis

The troopers meet at the Mos Eisley Cantina and get in a bar fight with the Emperor's Royal Guard. As punishment, Piett sends them to Genesis to find Vader, whose TIE fighter went down there.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #93 (May 2005)

Keywords

action figures; feminine products; fumetti; Genesis; Indiana Jones; M&M; Richardo Montalban; sarlacc pit; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Going to Extremes! (Table of Contents: 11)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (screencaps from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon)

Inks

? (screencaps from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon)

Colors

? (screencaps from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; adventure; anthropomorphic-funny animals; martial arts; superhero

Characters

Leonardo; Donatello; Michelangelo; Splinter; Rafael; Shredder

Synopsis

The Turtles are suppose to be fighting Shredder, but are too distracted being extreme.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #79 (March 2004)

Keywords

scooters; screencaps; Slideshow; TiVo; tricycle

Indexer Notes

This comic is screenshots of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cartoon with different dialogue added.

Seder-Masochism (Table of Contents: 12)

photo story / 8 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Andrew Kardon; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Human Torch; Magneto; Mr. Fantastic; Thing; Invisible Woman; H.E.R.B.I.E.; Elsie Grimm; Daniel Grimm; Spirit of Judaism; Vulture; Professor X; Leonard Nimoy; William Shatner; Nichelle Nichols; Moon Knight; Sabra; Elijah Wood; Kitty Pryde; Rama-Tut; Moses; Doctor Strange; Sauron

Synopsis

The Thing decides to explore this Jewish heritage to get out of helping clean-up. The Spirit of Judaism arrives to help him hold a Passover Seder. He fires a Star of David flare. Magneto, Nimoy, and Shatner show up. So do Moon Knight and Sabra, who brought wine. Elijah Wood drinks the wine for the prophet Elijah. Shatner reads the Passover story. Thing goes back in time and punches Rama-Tut. Doctor Strange kills the Spirit of Judaism, and feels guilty. Elijah mistakes the Human Torch for Sauron.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #94 (June 2005)

Keywords

action figures; Eye of Afamotto; fumetti; Judaism; Macaulay Culkin; Passover Seder; Scorpion King; Star of David; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; wine; yarmulke

Annoy All Monsters! (Table of Contents: 13)

Godzilla / photo story / 7 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Andrew Kardon; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; science fiction

Characters

Godzilla; Gamera; Mothra; Ghidora; Mecha-Gojira

Synopsis

Godzilla wakes up and heads to Tokyo. He and Gamera hang out, not realizing the people are attacking them. Gamera's girlfriends tell him to pick up milk on the way home. Mothra comes over, and they convince him to fly into the sun. They call up Ghidora, but it's too confusing to talk to all his heads at once. Mecha-Gojira attacks. They think he's a malfunctioning toy and accidentally break him. They both head out, and the people think they are saved, until Godzilla cannonballs into the ocean and causes a tsunami.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #95 (July 2005)

Keywords

action figures; beer; Biolante; fighter jets; fumetti; laser cannon; mass suicide; roaming; Sharper Image; sweater; tsunami; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Keep it on the Download (Table of Contents: 14)

Daredevil; Spider-Man / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (screencaps from the Spider-Man cartoon)

Inks

? (screencaps from the Spider-Man cartoon)

Colors

? (screencaps from the Spider-Man cartoon)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Daredevil [Matt Murdock]; Spider-Man [Peter Parker]; Felicia Hardy; May Parker

Synopsis

Daredevil uses his superpowers to find teenagers illegally downloading music. He kicks Spider-Man in the kidney because he was one of those teenagers. He then represents him in court, but Peter Parker is convicted.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #80 (April 2004)

Keywords

Jay-Z; Michael Jackson; porn; screencaps; Slideshow

Indexer Notes

This comic is screenshots of the Spider-Man cartoon with different dialogue added.

International House of M (Table of Contents: 15)

The Avengers; Spider-Man / photo story / 8 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Andrew Kardon; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Hulk; Spider-Man; Firestar; Speedball; Iron Lad; Hulkling; Captain America; May Parker; Jarvis; Ben Parker; Iron Man; Iron Fist; Power Man; Sentry; Brian Michael Bendis; Spider-Woman; Scarlet Witch; Hawkeye; Ant-Man; Jack of Hearts; Vision; She-Hulk; Dark Phoenix; Malice; Wolverine

Synopsis

When Hulk burns down his house, Spider-Man looks for a new team (and new home). He decides against the New Warriors and Young Avengers, and settles on the New Avengers. Captain America shows him around. Aunt May is sleeping with Jarvis. Spider-Man makes Sentry cry. He meets Brian Michael Bendis and Spider-Woman. Scarlet Witch starts destroying the place due to PMS. She knocks over the vending machine and beats up Iron Fist, Power Man, and Brian Michael Bendis. They give her a Midol. Unfortunately, She-Hulk, Dark Phoenix, and Malice attack, and they only have one pill left.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #97 (September 2005)

Keywords

action figures; Daily Bugle; dalmatian; fumetti; Human Torch; Midol; Miracleman; Mountain Dew; Namor; Night Thrasher; PMS; Ray Brower; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Indexer Notes

One of the reserve Avengers is unidentified.

Daredevil Buys a Car (Table of Contents: 16)

Daredevil / photo story / 2 pages (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Daredevil; Mario

Synopsis

Daredevil decides to buy a car. First he goes to a butcher shop. When he gets to a car dealership, he is tricked into buying a blue car when he wants a red one. He pays with money he got from Kingpin, only to find out it is Monopoly money. He crashes through the windshield.

Reprints

• from Wizard Ace Edition: Daredevil (Marvel; Wizard, 2003 series) #1 (April 2003)

Keywords

action figures; Blockbuster Video; fumetti; Mario's Butcher Shop; Monopoly; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Sith Sandwich (Table of Contents: 17)

Hulk; Spider-Man; Star Wars / photo story / 9 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Andrew Kardon; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero; adventure; science fiction

Characters

Spider-Man; Hulk; Leader; R2-D2; Anakin Skywalker; Obi-Wan Kenobi; General Grievous; Palpatine; Padmé Amidala; Mace Windu; Johnny Conehead; Yoda; Chewabacca; Han Solo; Boga; Nute Gunray; Passel Argente; Shu Mai; Ki-Adi-Mundi; Agen Kolar ; Aayla Secura; Jedi Abraham Lincoln; Adi Gallia; Bail Organa; Luke Skywalker; Leia Organa; Superman

Synopsis

Hulk begs Spider-Man to take him to see Revenge of the Sith. R2-D2 fights robots, Anakin and Obi-Wan get stuck in an elevator and then stop General Grievous, and Padmé tells Anakin she's pregnant. Mace Windu admits Anakin into the council, but makes fun of him. Yoda meets with Chewbacca, Han Solo, and a young Millennium Falcon. Obi-Wan kills Grievous after he kills Boga. Palpatine tells Anakin to kill kids and orders the stormtroopers to kill the Jedi. Obi-Wan maims Anakin. Padmé dies of a broken heart and Yoda hates kids. Spider-Man goes to the JLA for a mind-wipe.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #98 (October 2005)

Keywords

action figures; Adi Gallia; Batman Begins; bronchitis; chicken; Clone Wars cartoon; Darth Maul; elevator; Fandango; fumetti; Funyuns; Junior Mints; Kashyyk; Kevin Smith; nachos; Order 66; Order 69; popcorn; Qui-Gon Jin; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

Indexer Notes

This is the third and final installment of Twisted Toyfare Theatre's series of characters seeing the Star Wars prequels. As DC has banned their characters from appearing, only Superman's cape and the "J" in "JLA" appear at the end.

Herbal Remedies (Table of Contents: 18)

Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors / comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (screenshots from the Wheeled Warrior cartoon)

Inks

? (screenshots from the Wheeled Warrior cartoon)

Colors

? (screenshots from the Wheeled Warrior cartoon)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Audric; Oon; Saw Boss; Jayce; Herc Stormsailor; Gillian; Flora

Synopsis

Oon is bored, so Audric and him do drugs. When they find out they have the wrong plant, they try to stop Jayce and Herc from using it. They are too late, and Jayce crashes his car, killing them all.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #85 (September 2004)

Keywords

drugs; Eternian Gold; Scooby Snack; screenshots; Slideshow

Indexer Notes

The name of this sequence is taken from the index page.