Twisted Toyfare Theatre #9

(2008)

Shanks for the Memories (Table of Contents: 1)

Spider-Man / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Zach Oat; Bill Jenson; Rob Bricken

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

? (photos)

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

May Parker; Jon Baker; Ponch Poncherello; Spider-Man; Falcon; Thing; Mario; Luigi; Red Skull; Boss Hogg; Wendigo; Thor; Venom; Hulk; Kang the Conqueror; Richard Kimble; Rocky; North Star; Lizard

Synopsis

Jon and Ponch come to arrest May for drug possession, so she blames Spider-Man, and he's arrested. Spider-Man looks for a gang to help him survive prison. He decides against Falcon, Thing, the Italians, and the White Supremacists. Thor visits him. Kang is beaten up. Lizard killed Richard Kimble's wife. Spider-Man is freed when they discover the drug were May's all along.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #56

Keywords

action figures; bong; drugs; dry cleaning; fumetti; jail; Lays; Luke Perry; mecca; nail file; spaghetti; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; XBox

Indexer Notes

Several characters are not identified.

Mutiny for the Bounty (Table of Contents: 2)

Star Wars / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Chris Ward

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Boba Fett; Bossk; Darth Vader; IG-88; Duane Chapman [Dog]; Stormtrooper; Scout Tropper; Snow Trooper; Sandtrooper; Admiral Piett; Gand; 4-LOM; Dengar; Lando Calrissian; Han Solo; Luke Skywalker; Lobot; Ugnaughts; Chewbacca;

Synopsis

The troopers hear Vader offering a reward for Harrison Ford's capture, they decide to go after him themselves. Dengar offers them a ride, but they turn him down and steal IG-88's instead. They hide in the garbage, get collected by a garbage ship, and dumped at Cloud City. Lando tries to bribe them to get himself out of trouble. They hang out drinking in the freezing chamber and awaken to find Han Solo frozen. Unfortunately, they also froze Vader, Boba Fett, and an Ugnaught. Elsewhere, Dengar offers Luke a ride.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #113

Keywords

"Diff'rent Strokes"; action figures; candy; carbon freezing; Cloud City; Colt 45's; comic books; Dracula; Febreze; fumetti; Harrison Ford; java; Kit-Kats; Leia Organa; Mexico; Millennium Falcon; sarlacc pit; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Zuckuss

Indexer Notes

Special thanks to: Arbona, Sean T. Collins, and Ricky Purdin.

A Goomba with a View (Table of Contents: 3)

Super Mario Brothers / photo story / 9 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

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Colors

? (photos)

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Spider-Man; Thor; Hulk; Doctor Strange; Yoshi; Mario; Luigi; Goomba; Koopa Troopa; Wario; Bowser; Toad

Synopsis

Doctor Strange teleports Spider-Man, Thor, Hulk, and himself to the Mushroom Kingdom. Strange is killed by Yoshi, so Mario comes to be their guide. Hulk falls down a sewer pipe and Mario is impaled on a pole. Luigi appears, but falls and dies, allowing Mario to come back. Hulk returns. Thor is shrunken, Hulk grows, and Thor gets a tail and the ability to fly. They go through worlds 2-2, 2-3, tennis, then warp to the end. Hulk eats Bowser, but the princess isn't there, so they take a kart home.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #114 (February 2007)

Keywords

"Deal or No Deal!"; 8-Bit; action figures; Candyland; fumetti; lava; Lays; Mario Kart; Mushroom Kingdom; Princess Toadstool; Prowler; Rosie O'Donnell; squirrels; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Valhalla; video game; warp

Indexer Notes

Special thanks to: Arbona, Sean T. Collins, and Ricky Purdin.

One character is unidentified.

Spocked Up (Table of Contents: 4)

Star Trek / cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

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Characters

Spock; James T. Kirk; Dr. McCoy

Synopsis

Kirk gets Spock pregnant.

Keywords

action figures; fumetti; parody advertisement; pregnancy

Indexer Notes

This is a parody of the movie "Knocked Up."

The Blues Fellowship (Table of Contents: 5)

Lord of the Rings / photo story / 8 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Sean T. Collins; Jon Gutierrez; Ricky Purdin; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

? (photos)

Colors

? (photos)

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Frodo Baggins; Samwise Gamgee; Aragorn; Legolas; Peregrin Took; Andy Serkis; Gimli; Boromir; Lurtz; Brett Ratner; Gandalf; Halle Berry; Meriadoc Brandybuck; Kate Austen; Peter Jackson; Illinois Uruk-hai;

Synopsis

After Frodo gets out of jail, Sam decides to put the fellowship back together. They get Aragorn, but Legolas isn't available. Pippin is there. They head to Hollywood to get Gimli. They are followed by Andy Serkis until Frodo scares him off. They get Gimli and Pippin and Boromir die. Gandalf joins up after he and Halle Berry escape Brett Ratner. Merry turns them down. They arrive at Peter Jackson's doorstep, but he says he's not doing the Hobbit. He slams the door in their face.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #116 (April 2007)

Keywords

"Goonies"; "Soul Man"; action figures; Bill the Pony; Coke; coney dogs; dates; Ed Harris; fumetti; Green Dragon; Harrison Ford; Indiana Jones 4; lawnmower; lembas bread; Maria Bello; Medicare; Mordor; pirate; police car; Princess Leia; smoke monster; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; weed

The Once and Future Kang (Table of Contents: 6)

photo story / 9 pages (report information)

Script

Justin Aclin; Zach Oat; Jon Gutierrez; Sean T. Collins; Pat McCallum; Chris Ward

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Kang the Conqueror; Spider-Man 2099; Iron Man 2020; Uatu; Maestro; Psi-Lord; Yondu; Wolverine; Willie Lumpkin; Julie Powers; Franklin Richards; Mr. Fantastic; Thing; Spider-Man; Iron Man; Hulk; Captain America; Wasp; Immortus; Earth X Captain America; Iron Lad

Synopsis

Kang decides to make money by giving tours of the past to customers. He brings Iron Man 2020, Spider-Man 2099, Maestro, Psi-Lord, and Yondu, but Wolverine is late because he thought he needed to be naked. They go to the Baxter Building, where Psi-Lord turns his younger self into a plant for insulting him, which then turns him into a plant. Yondu's check bounces. They visit Spider-Man and the Avengers Mansion. Immortus arrives with a different tour, and they argue. Captain America urges them to get along. They fall in love, adopt a kid, and buy a house.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #117 (May 2007)

Keywords

action figures; Avengers Mansion; Baxter Building; biscotti; fumetti; Halo 3; horticulture; Lays; Marvel Universe comic; May Parker; Stephen Hawking; Sue Richards; time travel; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; VHS; Xbox; Xbox 360

Indexer Notes

One of the future characters is unidentified.

Battleship Galactica (Table of Contents: 7)

Battlestar Galactica / cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Cylon; Ninth Doctor; Tenth Doctor; Fourth Doctor

Synopsis

A child and a cylon play a game.

Keywords

action figures; Battleship; fumetti; Guess Who; parody advertisement

Indexer Notes

This is a parody of Battleship game.

Clean and Super Part 1 (Table of Contents: 8)

Iron Man / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Sean T. Collins; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

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Genre

humor

Characters

Dave Quintesson; Iron Man; Robert Downey, Jr.; Daredevil; Katie Powers; Thing; Wolverine; Professor X; Captain America; Nick Fury; Mr. Fantastic; Spider-Man; Hulk

Synopsis

Iron Man and Robert Downey, Jr. are found guilty of drunk and disorderly conduct. Iron Man is sentenced to 28 days in rehab. After he sobers up, he decides alcohol is a threat to society and petitions Congress to bring back prohibition. He shows them videos of his own drunken exploits. Captain America opposes him. Iron Man gathers his team of himself, Mr. Fantastic, and Spider-Man. To increase their numbers, Iron Man plans to clone Spider-Man.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #118 (June 2007)

Keywords

"Back to School The Second Semester"; action figures; Atlantis; beer; bottle opener; Budweiser; Chaplin; Chuck E. Cheese; Cloak; Dagger; daiquiri; fumetti; helicarrier; Hooters; Labatt's; Night Thrasher Estate; People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals; prohibition; Russell Crowe; Sam Adams; Stamford Connecticut; Thor; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters; yellowjacket

Clean and Super Part 2 (Table of Contents: 9)

Iron Man / photo story / 7 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Sean T. Collins; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

? (photos)

Colors

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Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Iron Man; Spider-Man; Captain America; Thing; Hawkeye; Wolverine; Black Panther; Invisible Woman; Human Torch; S.H.I.E.L.D. agents; Black Goliath; Thor Clone; H.E.R.B.I.E.; Green Goblin; Venom; Red Skull; Moon Knight; Black Bolt; Robert Downey, Jr.

Synopsis

Spider-Man refused to release his secret identity. Captain America's team meets and drinks, then are attacked by Iron Man's team. Giant Man is killed by a Thor Clone with H.E.R.B.I.E.'s brain. Iron Man decides to ban trans-fats too. He hires Green Goblin, Venom, and Red Skull to help him. Spider-Man switches sides. Both sides fight. Hawkeye shoots a scotch bow into Iron Man's suit. They all join together and drink, until the F.B.I. busts them and sends them all to rehab.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #119 (July 2007)

Keywords

"Lost"; action figures; alcohol; Applebee's; beer pong; F.B.I.; fumetti; Goldschlager; Hank Pym; Hitler; keg; Lay's; May Parker; MySpace; Oktoberfest; pretzels; prohibition; rehab; scotch; Smirnoff Ice; Storm; super-booze; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Ulysses S. Grant

Indexer Notes

A few characters have not yet been identified.

Naked Breakfast (Table of Contents: 10)

photo story / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

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Genre

humor

Characters

Jonathan Frakes

Synopsis

Jonathan Frakes advertises his new breakfast cereal "Naked Jonathan Flakes" while nude.

Keywords

action figures; breakfast; cereal; eggs benedict; fumetti; hollandaise sauce; Naked Jonathan Frakes

Lord Voldemort and the Homecoming of Doom (Table of Contents: 11)

Harry Potter / photo story / 8 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Sean T. Collins; Chris Ward

Pencils

? (photos)

Inks

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Colors

? (photos)

Letters

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Genre

humor

Characters

Voldemort; Wormtail; Nagini; Severus Snape; Albus Dumbledore; Rubeus Hagrid; Sirius Black; Dobby; Hermione Granger; Ron Weasley; Harry Potter; Wicked Witch of the West; Gilderoy Lockhart; Saruman; Wormtongue; Lucius Malfoy; Phyllis; Draco Malfoy;

Synopsis

Voldemort is bored, so he decides to attend homecoming at Hogwarts. Dumbledore welcomes the alumni. Hermione, Ron, and Harry serenade them, and Harry's scar burns. Dobby dances. Saruman and Wormtongue show up. Voldemort hits on Phyllis. They all go see their old classrooms. Voldemort and Harry argue, deciding to settle it on the Quidditch court. Voldemort wins, and he and Phyllis are crowned king and queen. Harry and Ron pour pig's blood on him, and he blows up the building. Many die, including Harry.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #120 (August 2007)

Keywords

"Carrie"; action figures; censored; Cho Chang; cruciatus curse; Daily Prophet; dark mark; fumetti; Ginny Weasley; Hogwarts; homecoming; horcrux; pig's blood; Professor McGonagal; Quidditch; scar; Slytherin; snitch; toads; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; uruk-hai

Indexer Notes

The article text in the Daily Prophet is the script of the story.

Some characters may not be identified, but they are most likely intended to be generic background characters.

Islands of Advengeance! (Table of Contents: 12)

photo story / 11 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Collins; Ward

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

? (photo)

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Spider-Man; Dr. Strange; Mr. Fantastic; Franklin Richards; Professor Xavier; Hulk; Thing; Kingpin; Alan Moore; Polar Claw; Willy Wonka; Dr. Doom; Iron Man; Mephisto; Mother Doom; Man Thing; Batman; Catwoman

Synopsis

Spider-Man, Dr. Strange, Mr. Fantastic, Franklin Richards, and Professor Xavier crash land on an island. The island has magical properties. They discover that they all received mysterious free tickets to Hawaii. Franklin goes missing, and they go to find him. The are caught by Alan Moore. He takes them to see the Others, who are Megos who have been cast out of Megoville due to copyright problems. They are led by Dr. Doom. He tries to trade Spider-Man, Mr. Fantastic, and Alan Moore to Mephisto for his mother, but Moore escapes. They are all returned to Megoville.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #122 (October 2007)

Keywords

action figures; chocolate; fumetti; Hawaii; Lost; Starbucks; Twisted Toyfare Theater; Watchmen; Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; Xbox

Indexer Notes

This is a Lost parody.

The Dharma & Greg Initiative (Table of Contents: 13)

Dharma & Greg; Lost / cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (screencaps from the Dharma & Greg TV show)

Inks

? (screencaps from the Dharma & Greg TV show)

Colors

? (screencaps from the Dharma & Greg TV show)

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Dharma Finkelstein; Greg Montgomery; Laverne DeFazio; Hurley Reyes; Jack Shephard; John Locke

Synopsis

Advertisement for the show "The Dharma & Greg Initiative."

Keywords

"Dharma & Greg"; "Lost"; Flavor of Locke; Laverne & Hurley; parody advertisement; This Old Hatch

Indexer Notes

This is a parody of the shows "Dharma & Greg" and "Lost."

The Mirror Has Two Phasers (Table of Contents: 14)

Star Trek / photo story / 5 pages (report information)

Script

Tom Root; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Rob Bricken; Collins; Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

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Colors

? (photo)

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Scotty; Spock; Kirk; Uhura; Mirror Kirk; Mirror Bones; Mirror Uhura; Mirror Scotty; Grok; High Inquisitor Spock; Female Kirk; Spockette

Synopsis

On the ship, Kirk receives a distress call from himself. He and Spock go to the Mirror Universe, where they learn that the Klingons are their allies and the Vulcans their enemies. The Vulcans are trying to wipe out all logic in the universe. High Inquisitor Spock threatens and captures them. They are saved when Spock goes through the Pon Farr of Reasponsableness. While they are distracted, red shirts kill the Vulcans. Kirk and Spock are then transported to a universe where they are women.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #124 (December 2007)

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; Danny Bonaduce; fumetti; High School Musical; Klingons; Mirror Universe; Miss Teen U.S.A.; Mustache of Patience; Neil Patrick Harris; O'Douls; Pon Farr; tea; tribbles; Twisted Toyfare Theater; Twizzlers; Vulcan Tuna Meld; Vulcans; Wiener Mobile; Wilt Chamberlain

[Absoluk Skywalker] (Table of Contents: 15)

Star Wars / cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Synopsis

An advertisement for Absoluk Vodka.

Keywords

parody advertisement

Indexer Notes

A parody of the Absolut Vodka advertisements.

Joe-Bra Commander (Table of Contents: 16)

G.I. Joe / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Rob Bricken; Collins; Ward

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Burger Meister; Tomax; Xamot; Cobra Commander [Private Commander]; Duke; Roadblock; Shipwreck; Flint; Snake Eyes; Joe-Verlord

Synopsis

The Burger Meister fires Cobra Commander from COBRA. He decides to join G.I. Joe. He convinces them to attack COBRA first. He tells them to build a giant robot, but that fails. He starts a Joe rock band, but that fails. He creates a new leader from history's greatest leaders, but he is killed in a non-violent protest. Duke finally sends him undercover with the Decepticons.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #127 (March 2008)

Keywords

action figures; Bono; coffee; Cold Slither; Fort Knox; fumetti; Gandhi; lenticular; Martin Luther King; PETA; sensitivity seminar; Twisted Toyfare Theater; William Perry [Refrigerator]

The Further Adventures of Frozen Cap (Table of Contents: 17)

Captain America / photo story / 2 pages (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Captain America; Red Skull; Pat Nixon; Richard Nixon; J. Edgar Hoover [Mitzi]; Galactus; Spock; Namor

Synopsis

Captain America is frozen in ice. Three penguins use him to squash and kill a walrus. He puts a hole in Red Skull's ship. He is a decoration at the Nixons' wedding. He is an ice cube in Galactus' cup, and people take pictures with him in the arctic circle.

Reprints

• from Wizard Ace Edition: The Avengers #4 (Marvel; Wizard, 2002 series) #4 (November 2002)

Keywords

action figures; fish; fumetti; ice; penguins; Shasta; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; walrus; wedding

VW Beetle Bailey (Table of Contents: 18)

Beetle Bailey; Transformers / comic story / 0.5 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

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Inks

?

Colors

?

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Beetle; Miss Buxley; Jackson Flap

Synopsis

Miss Buxley can't get Beetle, in car form, to move. He says she got his stick in gear alright.

Keywords

car; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies

Dunesbury (Table of Contents: 19)

Dune; Doonesbury / comic story / 0.25 page (report information)

Script

Jason Love

Pencils

Jason Love

Inks

Jason Love

Colors

Jason Love

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Shaddam Corrino IV

Synopsis

Shaddam Corrino IV's palace is about to be attacked by a sandworm.

Keywords

parody; sandworm; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies

Don Blake M.D. (Table of Contents: 20)

Thor; Rex Morgan M.D. / comic story / 0.5 page (report information)

Script

Odin; Loki

Pencils

Odin; Loki

Inks

Odin; Loki

Colors

Odin; Loki

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Don Blake; Jane Foster; Wrecker

Synopsis

Don Blake can't find his cane, and asks Jane where it is. She is upset he cares more for his cane than her. He can't stop Wrecker without his cane.

Keywords

cane; parody; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies

The Dark Side (Table of Contents: 21)

Far Side; Star Wars / cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script

Ryan Dunlavey

Pencils

Ryan Dunlavey

Inks

Ryan Dunlavey

Colors

Ryan Dunlavey

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Obi-Wan Kenobi; Luke Skywalker

Synopsis

Obi-Wan likes watching Luke get hit with lasers.

Keywords

Force; lightsaber; parody; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies

Family Circus of Crime (Table of Contents: 22)

Family Circus; Circus of Crime / cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script

Jason Love

Pencils

Jason Love

Inks

Jason Love

Colors

Jason Love

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Bil Kane; Thel Kane; Billy Kane; Dolly Kane; P.J. Kane

Synopsis

Bil hypnotizes his kids to go to bed so he and his wife can go out.

Keywords

hynosis; parody; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies

B.C. P.R.D. (Table of Contents: 23)

B.C.; Hellboy / comic story / 0.5 page (report information)

Script

Jesse Aclin

Pencils

Jesse Aclin

Inks

Jesse Aclin

Colors

Jesse Aclin

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Peter; Sadu-Hem; Hellboy; Abe Sapien

Synopsis

Peter writes a tablet asking if the other writer believes in a higher power. Tentacles come out of the sky and pull him in.

Keywords

parody; tablets; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies

Calvin and Hyde (Table of Contents: 24)

Calvin and Hobbes; Avengers / comic story / 0.5 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

?

Inks

?

Colors

?

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Calvin [Mr. Hyde]; Moe [Captain America]; Hobbes

Synopsis

Calvin pretends to drink a formula that will turn him into a monster that can take down Moe, but it doesn't work.

Keywords

formula; parody; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies

Little Orphan Ani (Table of Contents: 25)

Little Orphan Annie; Star Wars / comic story / 0.5 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

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Inks

?

Colors

?

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Ani; San-D2; Count Dooku; Darthy Warbucks

Synopsis

When Count Dooku ties up Darthy, he cuts off his head. Darthy makes him his apprentice and gives him a dress.

Keywords

dress; lightsaber; parody; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies

Orlando Bloom County (Table of Contents: 26)

Bloom County; Lord of the Rings / comic story / 0.5 page (report information)

Script

Ryan Dunlavey

Pencils

Ryan Dunlavey

Inks

Ryan Dunlavey

Colors

Ryan Dunlavey

Letters

Typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Opus; Rabies; Michael Binkley; Orlando Bloom [Legolas]

Synopsis

Opus and Michael discuss politics. Orlando Bloom runs up and shoots Rabies with arrows, thinking he is a monster. Michael yells at Bloom.

Keywords

basselope; bow; dandelions; Dukakis; parody; Toyfare's Sunday Funnies; warg beast