Twisted Toyfare Theatre #10

(2009)

Gauze and Effect (Table of Contents: 1)

Conan the Barbarian / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Conan the Barbarian; May Parker; Richie; Bucky Rogers; Spider-Man; Thor; Hulk; Professor X; Wendigo; Captain America; North Star; Lizard; Iron Man; Rhodey Rhodes

Synopsis

Conan is angered by an empty toilet paper roll, a line at the store, and a line at the ATM, so he goes to anger management with Spider-Man, Thor, and Hulk, who has to wear an "ouch collar." That doesn't work, so he goes to therapy with Professor X. He remembers a childhood of pushing a wheel and torture. He gets in touch with his heart, and decides not to kill. He throws away his sword and it kills Rhodey.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #50

Keywords

"The Facts of Life"; alcohol; Alcoholics Anonymous; anger management; baseball; Bill Wilson; figures; fumetti; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

My Dinner with Vengeance (Table of Contents: 2)

photo story / 9 pages (report information)

Script

Pat McCallum; Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Chris Ward

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Doctor Octopus; Red Skull; Hat-Monger; Power Man; Punisher; Falcon; M.O.D.O.K; Magneto; Fabian Cortez; Mr. Hyde; Skulls; Boomerang; Vermin; Vulture; Green Goblin; Kraven the Hunter; Electro; Baron Zemo; Klaw; Ringmaster; Water Wizard; Vemon; Xemnu the Titan; Lizard; Dracula; Batroc; Hawkeye; Tarantula; Loki; Whirlwind; Ultron; Hydro Man; Mephisto; Hobgoblin; Leader; Mephisto; Kang; Sebastian Shaw; Juggernaut; Jon Baker; Ponch; Mysterio; Julie Powers; Katie Powers

Synopsis

The Marvel villains arrive at the "Act of Vengeance" Convention. Doc Ock gorges himself on mints, Red Skull and Hate-Monger avoid the elevator car with black people, and M.O.D.O.K. and Magneto check their henchmen. Baron Zemo leads the convention. The point is for the villains to trade who they fight to confuse the superheroes. The villains without archenemies spin a wheel while those with one choose from Ringmaster's hat. Red Skull and Batroc argue over who is Captain America's archenemy. The villains all end up fighting each other and are arrested, except for Xemnu.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #111

Keywords

"Act of Vengeance" Convention; "Wife Swap"; Alex Powers; Americans; Ant-Man; Arctic; Ban Tam; beers; best friends forever; boomerangs; Brett Ratner; Brother Voodoo; Cable; Captain America; Carnage; figures; Franklin Richards; fumetti; Ghost Rider; Hulk; Iron Man; Jack Powers; Jesus; Leader's mom; Leech; Marvel Zombies; May Parker; mints; Psylocke; sandwich; Sentry; She-Hulk; Silver Surfer; Spider-Ham; Swamp Thing; talc; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; wedgie; Wolverine; Xorn

Indexer Notes

Special thanks to: Arbona, Rob Bricken, Sean T. Collins, Penagos, Ricky Purdin, and Adam Tracey

One character is not yet identified.

Wookie of the Year (Table of Contents: 3)

Star Wars / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Sean Collins; Chris Ward

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; adventure; science fiction

Characters

Chewbacca; Malla; Lumpy; Luke Skywalkter; Itchy; Wompa; Wuher; Bea Arthur; Boba Fett; Han Solo; Saunn Dann; Leia Organa;

Synopsis

Chewbacca comes home late to Life Day due to Luke. He and Lumpy look up what Life Day is, and he realizes he didn't get Malla a gift. Itchy gives Lumpy a droid when he wanted a BB gun, so Chewie gives him his bowcaster. They go shopping, but Chewie doesn't have enough money for the combs, so he asks Bea Arthur. She kicks him out. He sells his bandolier to pay for them, and Malla sells Han Solo's location to buy him bandolier polish. Saunn Dann gives him back his bandolier, and they all sing. Lumpy kills Leia.

Reprints

• in Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #121 (September 2007)

Keywords

action figures; bandolier; Bed Bothans & Beyond; binders; bloody Padme; bowcaster; Chinese food; Clone Wars; combs; Dihann Carroll; fumetti; Jabba; kybuck canapé; Life Day; one-armed mandalorian; Ryder BB Blaster; Twisted Toyfare Theatre; Wookieepedia; Yavin IV

Indexer Notes

Special thanks to: Rob Bricken

Poppin' a Cap (Table of Contents: 4)

Captain America / photo story / 7 pages (report information)

Script

Tom Root; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Chris Ward; Sean Collins

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Baron Zemo [Heinrich Zemo]; Bucky [James Buchanan Barnes]; Colossus [Piotr Rasputin]; Dr. Doom [Victor Von Doom]; Electro [Max Dillon]; Colonel Nick Fury; Lizard [Curt Connors]; Mysterio [Quentin Beck]; Red Skull [Johann Shmidt]; Whirlwind [Dave Cannon]; Captain America (Borg); Billy; Cap-Wolf; Captain America (sentinel); Captain America [Falcon]; Captain Central America; Tom

Synopsis

Doom returns to his castle, only to find a bunch of other villains living there. They cover by saying the were throwing him a party. After a night of drinking, they find out Captain America was killed at the bar they were drinking at the night before, and realize they must have done it. Cap imitators are popping up. At Cap's funeral, Fury recruits Bucky to become bad-ass and avenge him. When he can't find any clues as to who killed him, Google's the answer. Mysteria puts it on his MySpace page. Lizard accidentally knocks all the villains out of Cap's shield.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #123 (November 2007)

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; America's Got Talent; Applebees; David Copperfield; fumetti; Google; Hooters; jacuzzi; karaoke; leather jacket; McSurly's; MySpace; Oakleys; party; pretzels; Ray-Bans; T.G.I. Friday's; Twisted Toyfare Theater

Men-at-Arms' Wearhouse (Table of Contents: 5)

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe / cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script

?

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; sword and sorcery

Characters

Man-at-Arms; He-Man; Meckaneck

Synopsis

Man-at-Arms' store sells men's clothes.

Keywords

Eternian Palace; Masters Card; Men's Wearhouse; parody advertisement; Piscataway New Jersey; Snake Mountain

The XBox 300 (Table of Contents: 6)

Super Mario Brothers; Halo / photo story / 5 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Robert Bricken; Chris Ward; Sean Collins

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Luigi; Yoshi; King Master; God-King Mario; Wario; Hammer Brothers

Synopsis

The Spartans lived in peace, until King Mario's forces advance towards them. They reject his emissary and martial an army of 300. They march, and meet up with the Arcadian army. The next day they faced the Goombas, robots, and try to build a wall. Then they realize they must face the Hammer brothers.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #125 (January 2008)

Keywords

300; action figures; Arcadians; Battle Creek; fumetti; Goombas; Pizza Hut; scrapbooking; Spartans; Tetris; togas; Twisted Toyfare Theater

Indexer Notes

This story is a 300 parody.

The XBox 300 Part 2 (Table of Contents: 7)

Super Mario Brothers; Halo / photo story / 5 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Robert Bricken; Chris Ward; Sean Collins

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Bowser; Donkey Kong; Link; Mario (as King-God Mario); Master King; Bomber Men; Miss Pac-Man; ghost

Synopsis

The Hammer Brothers throw hammers at the Spartans, but it doesn't hurt them. Mario then sends the immortals, the Bomber Men, and a monster. A sniper joins Mario's army, and the Spartans have to surrender. But it is all a trick for King to shrink Mario. The Spartans lose, but inspire others to stand together to defeat Mario.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #126 (February 2008)

Keywords

action figures; banana peel; fumetti; hammers; Legend of Zelda; Princess Toadstool; Spartans; Street Fighter; Twisted Toyfare Theater

Indexer Notes

This story is a parody of 300.

Chairman of the Board (Table of Contents: 8)

The Avengers / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Robert Bricken; Chris Ward; Sean Collins

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

? (photo)

Colors

? (photo)

Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Captain America [Steve Rogers]; Hawkeye [Clint Barton]; Iron Man [Tony Stark]; Edwin Jarvis; Colonel Mustard; Cavity Sam; Princess Lolly; H.H. Hippo; Pennybags; Top Hat

Synopsis

Jarvis is found dead, and it was Colonel Mustard who did it. He needs the Avengers help overthrow the opponent. They travel through Eurasia, battleships, stop at Hi-Ho Cherry-O, and eat pie. They reach Monopoly, and face Pennybags. Hawkeye kills him. Then they face the true opponent: Top Hat. The shoe comes off Mustard's foot and stomps on the hat. The Avengers return to Megoville, where a new hotel has been built.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #128 (April 2008)

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; Battleship; Candy Land; Clue; Cybertron; Eurasia; exposition parlor; fumetti; Hi-Ho Cherry-O; Hungry Hungry Hippos; Life; Megoville; Middle Earth; Monopoly; Operation; Pop-O-Matic; Quinjet; Risk; Trivial Pursuit; Twisted Toyfare Theater

Catching a Rising Starscream (Table of Contents: 9)

Transformers / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Robert Bricken; Chris Ward; Mike Collins

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

Pat McCallum; Tom Root; Doug Goldstein; Zach Oat; Robert Bricken

Genre

humor; science fiction

Characters

Astrotrain; Megatron; Rumble; Soundwave; Starscream; Spader-Man; Tabletron

Synopsis

When Starscream, Soundwave, and Shockwave return from Mexico, Megatron isn't allowed across the border as he is a gun. Back at home, Starscream assumes leadership of the Decepticons. He interviews them and utilizes their skills to dig a hole to embarrass the Autobots. When they aren't given Energon, they strike. Mediation breaks down. Starscream decides to get Energon on the black market. There is a bust. He fires itinerant workers. Megatron returns. They are arrested for hiring undocumented workers.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #130 (June 2008)
• in Wizard's Free Comic Book Day Special (Wizard Entertainment, 2005 ? series) #4 (May 2009) [First 3 pages.]

Keywords

7-Eleven; action figures; black market; cockfights; Energon; fumetti; itinerant workers; John Cusack; Mexico; Mountain Dew; Rio Grande; Robot King; Say Anything; TiVo; Twisted Toyfare Theater

Just Say Nova (Table of Contents: 10)

Nova; Spider-Man / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Robert Bricken; Sean Collins; T. J. Dietsch; Rachel Molino; Chris Ward; John Tracey; Alex Kropinak

Pencils

? (photo)

Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; science fiction; superhero

Characters

Hulk [Bruce Banner]; Nova [Richard Rider]; Spider-Man [Peter Parker]; Xandarian Worldmind; Human Rocket [Richard Rider]; raccoon

Synopsis

When Nova sees how good Spider-Man is at arcade games, he tries to recruit him to the Nova Corps. When that doesn't work, he drugs him and steals his clothes. He is put through orientation. He is charged up. He escapes through the bathroom window, and tries to find earth, but ends up on Planet Hulk.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #131 (July 2008)

Keywords

action figures; alcohol; arcade; car battery; Cybertron; fumetti; Golden Tee; Lincoln Memorial; orientation; Planet Hulk; pyramid scheme; space convertible; Twisted Toyfare Theater; Xandar

Just Say Nova Part 2 (Table of Contents: 11)

Hulk; Nova; Spider-Man / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; Robert Bricken; Sean Collins; T. J. Dietsch; Rachel Molino; Chris Ward; Alex Kropinak; Tracey John

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

superhero; science fiction

Characters

Annihilus; Galactus [Galan]; Hulk [Bruce Banner]; Nova [Richard Rider]; Silver Surfer [Norrin Radd]; Spider-Man [Peter Parker] (as Nova); Xandarian Worldmind; Vicki; Brood; Brayden

Synopsis

Hulk explains to Spider-Man how he ended up ruler of a planet. He shows him around his palace. Nova shows up, telling Spider-Man the corps have been destroyed and he needs his help. Hulk gets his interns to help fight giant bugs that are attacking, and Silver Surfer, who is Hulk's pool boy, gets Galactus' help. They stop the bugs, but Annilhilus shows up, upset they killed his babies. He hooks up with the Brood and they leave. Hulk then accidentally kills his wife, Vicki, and vows vengeance. Hulk and Spider-Man return to Earth.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #132 (August 2008)

Keywords

action figures; annihilation wave; beefaroni; bowling; bug zapper; Chef Boyardee; Defenders; fumetti; giant bugs; Green Intern Corps; IHOP; Illuminati; Jack Kirby; Jolly Green Giant; Jostens; Mr. Peanut; Ms. Pac-Man; National Honor Society; Paul Newman; Planet Hulk; puppy tree; Quaker Oats Man; soup; texting; Twisted Toyfare Theater

The Rambo Connection Part 1 (Table of Contents: 12)

Rambo / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Zach Oat; Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; T. J. Dietsch; Robert Bricken; Sean Collins; Rachel Molino; Chris Ward; Alex Kropinak; Tracey John

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Arnold Schwarzenegger; Dolph Lundgren; Bruce Willis; Sylvester Stallone; Christian Bale; Dwayne Johnson; Gerald Butler; Daniel Craig; Wesley Snipes; Steven Seagal; Keanu Reeves; Jean-Claude Van Damme

Synopsis

In an old, abandoned Planet Hollywood, the Manly Men of Action - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, and Sylvester Stallone - meet. They honor those who have gone before in the 60's and 70's, and seek out new candidates to join. Lundgren is sent to Gerald Butler, Stallone to Dwayne Johnson, and Willis to Daniel Craig. When they show up to be initiated, they are attacked and kidnapped by a mysterious group who leaves a message for the Manly Men of Action.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #133 (September 2008)

Keywords

300; action figures; Burt Reynolds; Casino Royale; Charles Bronson; Charlton Heston; Chuck Norris; Cliffhanger; Clint Eastwood; fumetti; Hulk Hogan; John Lithgow; Lee Marvin; loin cloth; McQueen; Planet Hollywood; Sean Connery; Twisted Toyfare Theater

The Rambo Connection Part 2 (Table of Contents: 13)

Rambo / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; T. J. Dietsch; Robert Bricken; Sean Collins; Rachel Molino; Zach Oat; Chris Ward; Alex Kropinak; Tracey John

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Arnold Schwarzenegger; Dolph Lundgren; Bruce Willis; Sylvester Stallone; Steven Seagal; Wesley Snipes; Keanu Reeves; Jean-Claude Van Damme; Christian Bale; Dwayne Johnson; Gerald Butler; Daniel Craig

Synopsis

Schwarzenegger, Lundgren, Willis, and Stallone storm Seagal’s home, killing his office workers. They split up to go after Snipes, Reeves, and Van Damme. Willis takes down Reeves, Stallone takes down Snipes, and Schwarzenegger takes down Van Damme. The team finds Seagal, who has trapped Bale, Dwayne, Butler, and Craig in a death trap to get his revenge.

Reprints

• in Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #134 (October 2008)

Keywords

action figures; arm wrestling; fumetti; Ice-T; Johnny Mnemonic; Parade; Predator; Rocky; sharks; temp agency; tiger; Twisted Toyfare Theatre

The Rambo Connection Part 3 (Table of Contents: 14)

Rambo / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; T. J. Dietsch; Robert Bricken; Sean Collins; Rachel Molino; Zach Oat; Chris Ward; Alex Kropinak; Tracey John

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor

Characters

Sean Connery; Arnold Schwarzenegger; Dolph Lundgren; Bruce Willis; Sylvester Stallone; Steven Seagal; Wesley Snipes; Keanu Reeves; Jean-Claude Van Damme; Christian Bale; Dwayne Johnson; Gerald Butler; Daniel Craig; Chuck Norris; Clint Eastwood; Burt Reynolds; Steve McQueen (ghost); Charlton Heston (ghost); Lee Marvin (ghost); Charles Bronson (ghost)

Synopsis

Ten years ago, Stallone was inducting Seagal and Snipes into the Manly Man of Action when Schwarzenegger wrote a bylaw saying the 80's men could stay in for another decade. Seagal vowed revenge. Now the 80's men fight to save the 00's men. Seagal defeats Willis and Stallone and makes a clone of himself while Lundgren save the hostages. Willis kills the clone but doesn't have a one-liner, so the other Men of Action arrive to help. They kill Seagal. The initiation takes place, but Seagal's cloning computer is still active.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #135 (November 2008)

Keywords

action figures; Ashton Kutcher; clone; computer; fastball special; fumetti; Half Past Dead; Italian American; Luigi; shark; Sixth Sense; The Last Boyscout; Twisted Toyfare Theater; Under Siege 2 Dark Territory

Invasion of the Mego Snatchers (Table of Contents: 15)

Spider-Man / photo story / 6 pages (report information)

Script

Justin Aclin; Jon Gutierrez; T. J. Dietsch; Robert Bricken; Dylan Brucie; Sean Collins; Rachel Molino; Matt Powell; Chris Ward

Pencils

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Inks

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Colors

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Letters

typeset

Genre

humor; superhero

Characters

Spider-Man (skrull); Bli'x [Thor] (skrull); Hulk (skrull); Hawkeye (skrull); Thing (skrull) (skrull); Red Skull (skrull); Venom (skrull) (skrull); Nick Fury; Daredevil (skrull); Redwing (flashback); Mr. Fantastic (skrull); Namor (skrull); Invisible Woman (skrull); Nightcrawler (skrull); Emperor Glixx'zt [Spider-Woman] (skrull); Aunt May (skrull); Tarantula (skrull); Daredevil; Magneto; Professor X; Iron Man; Dr. Doom; Captain America; Spider-Man; Mr. Fantastic; Mephisto; Dr. Strange

Synopsis

Spider-Man remembers he is a skrull. Thor and Hulk are too, and they hold a town meeting where they determine everyone else is too. They no longer have anyone to invade, so they go to the skrull home world to get humans to invade. They find them all living in harmony. The Spider-Mans meet, and wish things could go back to they way they were before. Mephisto will help for a price, but Dr. Strange will do it for a smaller price. After his spell, all the skrulls forgot they were skrulls and the Megos forgot they were on the skrull home world.

Reprints

• from Toyfare: The Toy Magazine (Wizard Entertainment, 1997 series) #137 (January 2009)

Keywords

deus ex machina; figures; fumetti; Habitat for Humanity; hamburgers; Jughead; Lays; Megoville; Pabst; toilet; toothbrush; Twisted Toyfare Theater