Playboy #v14#9
(September 1967)

Playboy, 1953 Series
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Volume
14
Price
0.75 USD
Pages
266
Indicia Frequency
monthly
Indicia / Colophon Publisher
HMH Publishing Co., Inc.
Editing
Hugh M. Hefner (editor, publisher); A. C. Spectorsky (associate publisher, editorial director)

The individual issues of this series are each less than 50% comics. Only comics sequences are indexed and cover scans are accepted only if the issue has 10% indexed comics content.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 1)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Pencils
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Inks
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Take the 8:43 instead. General Motors can wait.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A wife gets romantic when her husband is ready to leave for work.

Indexer Notes

Page 34. A cartoon as part of an 0.33 page ad for King's Men grooming aids.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 2)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Pencils
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Inks
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Colors
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
What the hell. I'll make you ALL stars overnight!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A movie producer sets his sights on three potential actresses.
Keywords
casting couch; movies

Indexer Notes

Page 105.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 3)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
John Dempsey (signed)
Pencils
John Dempsey (signed)
Inks
John Dempsey (signed)
Colors
John Dempsey (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
My place or yours? Or right here?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man at a party makes a direct proposition to a young woman.
Reprints
Keywords
cigarettes; cocktails; party; smoking

Indexer Notes

Page 119.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 4)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Dink Siegel (signed)
Pencils
Dink Siegel (signed)
Inks
Dink Siegel (signed)
Colors
Dink Siegel (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Your men will be down as soon as they cool off.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
The roommates are rescued by a fire truck ladder from a night fire in their apartment building. Since the girls are in negligees, the firemen need time to recover.
Reprints
Keywords
apartment; fire; fire truck; firemen; ladder; negligees; roommates

Indexer Notes

Page 124. Part of the "Roommates" series.

[Captive in Football Huddle] (Table of Contents: 5)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Alden Erikson [as A. Erikson] (signed)
Pencils
Alden Erikson [as A. Erikson] (signed)
Inks
Alden Erikson [as A. Erikson] (signed)
Colors
Alden Erikson [as A. Erikson] (signed)

Genre
humor; sports
Synopsis
A disheveled band majorette crawls out of a college football huddle, obviously not there by her choice.
Keywords
band; college; football; huddle; majorette

Indexer Notes

Page 135. A pantomime cartoon.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 6)

Vargas / cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Alberto Vargas [as Vargas] (signed, painting)
Inks
Alberto Vargas [as Vargas] (signed, painting)
Colors
Alberto Vargas [as Vargas] (signed, painting)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Double or nothing.
Genre
humor
Reprints
Keywords
high heels

Indexer Notes

Page 158. Two blonde women in black high heels, one in tight black slacks, the other in an open white blouse.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 7)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Erich Sokol [as Sokol] (signed)
Pencils
Erich Sokol [as Sokol] (signed)
Inks
Erich Sokol [as Sokol] (signed)
Colors
Erich Sokol [as Sokol] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
What brings you to this neck 'o the woods?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A city man stops at a backwoods farmer's shack when he see his three sexy daughters.
Reprints
Keywords
daughter; farmer; pigs

Indexer Notes

Page 161.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 8)

cartoon / 0.3 page (report information)

Script
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Pencils
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Inks
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm sure he's the one, Sarge. He's a sociopathic personality with clearly indicated schizoid and depressive tendencies.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A policeman uses his call box to tell his Sergeant the psychological diagnosis of the bum he's picked up.
Keywords
call box; policeman; psychology

Indexer Notes

Page 166.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 9)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Joseph Farris [as JG Farris] (signed)
Pencils
Joseph Farris [as JG Farris] (signed)
Inks
Joseph Farris [as JG Farris] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Perhaps you should a heart-to-heart talk with him. He's been receiving quite a few books from Grove Press.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A mother is concerned about the books her son is receiving in the mail.
Keywords
Grove Press; post office

Indexer Notes

Page 167. In the 1960s, Grove Press was publishing controversial books with sexual content.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 10)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Donald Reilly (signed)
Pencils
Donald Reilly (signed)
Inks
Donald Reilly (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
What would you say about the evils of LSD if I told you that I tripled my sales record for fiscal 1966-1967 after taking a trip.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man at a party credits his sales success to an LSD trip.
Keywords
cocktails; drugs; LSD; party

Indexer Notes

Page 171.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 11)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
John Dempsey (signed)
Pencils
John Dempsey (signed)
Inks
John Dempsey (signed)
Colors
John Dempsey (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Hello, there. Can I help you?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A hunter climbs the wall of the nudist camp to get a peek. A young nude woman opens a door in the wall to ask him what he wants.
Reprints
Keywords
dog; fence; hunter; nudists; shotgun

Indexer Notes

Page 174. Part of the "Nudist Camp" series.

[Stilts for Toddler] (Table of Contents: 12)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Bill Hoest [as Hoest] (signed)
Pencils
Bill Hoest [as Hoest] (signed)
Inks
Bill Hoest [as Hoest] (signed)

Genre
humor
Synopsis
A toddler has to use stilts to be able to reach the hem of his mother's mini-skirt.
Keywords
mini-skirt; stilts; toddler

Indexer Notes

Page 176.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 13)

cartoon / 0.33 page (report information)

Script
Buck Brown (signed)
Pencils
Buck Brown (signed)
Inks
Buck Brown (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
The way I see it, if you kids hadn't hipped me to that new mouthwash, I wouldn't have been invited to that party, and I wouldn't be pregnant now.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
The good intentions of a girl's friends have unexpected consequences.
Keywords
mouthwash; pregnant

Indexer Notes

Page 179.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 14)

cartoon / 0.33 page (report information)

Script
Howard Shoemaker [as Shoemaker] (signed)
Pencils
Howard Shoemaker [as Shoemaker] (signed)
Inks
Howard Shoemaker [as Shoemaker] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I can't stand his holier-than-thou attitude.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Gouda and Liederkranz cheeses gossip about a wedge of Swiss cheese.
Keywords
cheese

Indexer Notes

Page 181.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 15)

cartoon / 0.3 page (report information)

Script
Mort Gerberg (signed)
Pencils
Mort Gerberg (signed)
Inks
Mort Gerberg (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You appeared in my dreams last night—but only as a walk-on—no lines.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
On the street outside the theaters, one stage actor talks to a stage actress.
Keywords
actors; cigarettes; dream; smoking; stage

Indexer Notes

Page 184.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 16)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Herbert Goldberg (signed)
Pencils
Herbert Goldberg (signed)
Inks
Herbert Goldberg (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
So it was a little stomach upset, eh?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A husband is upset with his wife when their daughter shows up with a newborn baby.
Keywords
baby; pregnancy

Indexer Notes

Page 185.

[Wiping the Scenery Off a Window] (Table of Contents: 17)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Pencils
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Inks
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Colors
Gahan Wilson (signed)

Genre
humor
Synopsis
A cleaning woman wipes the grime off a dingy window, but as she does so, the scenery outside is removed, too.
Reprints
Keywords
cleaning; surreal; window

Indexer Notes

Page 187. A pantomime cartoon.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 18)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Dana Fradon [as D. Fradon] (signed)
Pencils
Dana Fradon [as D. Fradon] (signed)
Inks
Dana Fradon [as D. Fradon] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Sissy!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A newsdealer whose hut is covered with girlie magazines insults a passerby who doesn't stop to look.
Keywords
magazines; newsdealer

Indexer Notes

Page 190.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 19)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Doug Sneyd [as Sneyd] (signed)
Pencils
Doug Sneyd [as Sneyd] (signed)
Inks
Doug Sneyd [as Sneyd] (signed)
Colors
Doug Sneyd [as Sneyd] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
UNCLE CHARLIE!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
One of the girls in the brothel is surprised when her Uncle Charlie is a customer.
Keywords
brothel; madam; uncle

Indexer Notes

Page 194. Part of the "Brothel" series.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 20)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Donald Reilly (signed)
Pencils
Donald Reilly (signed)
Inks
Donald Reilly (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
We hope you won't forget us, Mr. Pettebone, after you've danced your way to a new life of popularity and social success.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
An instructor in a dance studio flatters her student.
Keywords
dance; instruction; record player

Indexer Notes

Page 196.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 21)

cartoon / 0.33 page (report information)

Script
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Pencils
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Inks
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
It's easy. First we have to determine if he's a soldier or a guerrilla or a civilian. Then we have to determine if he's on their side or our side. Then...
Genre
humor; war
Synopsis
Hiding in the foliage, two soldiers in Vietnam are trying to decide if a man walking by is on their side or is an enemy.
Keywords
enemy; Vietnam; war

Indexer Notes

Page 200.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 22)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Buck Brown (signed)
Pencils
Buck Brown (signed)
Inks
Buck Brown (signed)q
Colors
Buck Brown (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You're going to think I'm awful, but could you folks find another spot?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A white couple has settled down for a secluded romantic picnic, when a black family (not seeing them) picks a spot nearby for a picnic of their own.
Reprints
Keywords
African-American; picnic; race relations

Indexer Notes

Page 203.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 23)

cartoon / 0.3 page (report information)

Script
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Pencils
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Inks
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Where's your protective helmet, young lady?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A nude female motorcyclist is pulled over by a motorcycle policeman, who chides her for not wearing a helmet.
Keywords
motorcycle; nude; police

Indexer Notes

Page 206.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 24)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Dennis Renault [as Renault] (signed)
Pencils
Dennis Renault [as Renault] (signed)
Inks
Dennis Renault [as Renault] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBERRRRRRR!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A lumberjack celebrates a female conquest.
Keywords
lumberjack

Indexer Notes

Page 210.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 25)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
Donald Reilly (signed)
Pencils
Donald Reilly (signed)
Inks
Donald Reilly (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
They're turning back anybody who doesn't believe in God.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Highway police have checkpoints at the California state borders.
Keywords
California; God; state police

Indexer Notes

Page 211.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 26)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Joseph Farris [as JG Farris] (signed)
Pencils
Joseph Farris [as JG Farris] (signed)
Inks
Joseph Farris [as JG Farris] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I don't use Ban Spray Deodorant, and I have a different date up here every night!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man brags about having a different date every night. That night's date gives him a possible reason why.

Indexer Notes

Page 212. Cartoon is part of 0.33 page advertisement for Ban Spray Deodorant.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 27)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Donald Reilly (signed)
Pencils
Donald Reilly (signed)
Inks
Donald Reilly (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Let's see. We've included voyeurism, nudity, homosexuality, and sadism, but I keep feeling we've forgotten something.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Movie producers try to hit all the bases in an exploitation movie.
Reprints
Keywords
movie-making

Indexer Notes

Page 213.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 28)

cartoon / 0.3 page (report information)

Script
Bud Handelsman [as Handelsman] (signed)
Pencils
Bud Handelsman [as Handelsman] (signed)
Inks
Bud Handelsman [as Handelsman] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Oh, I don't mind about that. I PREFER sacred cows to the ordinary kind.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A bull talks to a sacred cow in India.
Keywords
bull; India; sacred cow

Indexer Notes

Page 217.

[The Fourth Monkey] (Table of Contents: 29)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Pencils
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Inks
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)

Genre
humor
Synopsis
The Three Monkeys in the traditional "Hear No Evil, See No Evil, and Speak No Evil" are sitting in front of an industrial plant spewing pollution and are joined by another monkey—"Smell No Evil."
Keywords
pollution; Three Monkeys

Indexer Notes

Page 219. A pantomime cartoon.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 30)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Michael Ffolkes [as ffolkes] (signed)
Pencils
Michael Ffolkes [as ffolkes] (signed)
Inks
Michael Ffolkes [as ffolkes] (signed)
Colors
Michael Ffolkes [as ffolkes] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
If you think I'm going to compete with that, you're crazy!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Two missionaries watch from the bushes as a native tribe worships a huge statue of a buxom woman.
Keywords
missionaries; natives; statue

Indexer Notes

Page 221. Female statue is modeled after traditional Buddha statue.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 31)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Pencils
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Inks
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I say, chaps! A Ronald Reagan movie!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Wealthy men at their club are excited when an old Ronald Reagan movie is shown on television.
Reprints
Keywords
movie; television

Indexer Notes

Page 225. Ronald Reagan was in his first year as governor of California at this time.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 32)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Pencils
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Inks
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Colors
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I know it's a little unusual señorita, but in this case it's the firing squad who would like to make a last request ...
Genre
humor
Synopsis
An attractive buxom woman in a low-cut blouse faces a Latin American firing squad.
Reprints
Keywords
firing squad; Latin America

Indexer Notes

Page 231.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 33)

cartoon / 0.33 page (report information)

Script
Dennis Renault [as Renault] (signed)
Pencils
Dennis Renault [as Renault] (signed)
Inks
Dennis Renault [as Renault] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Don't call me 'boy'!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A young African-American boy complains when his father calls him a boy.
Reprints
Keywords
African-American; insult

Indexer Notes

Page 235.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 34)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Pencils
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Inks
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm beginning to have serious doubts about the efficiency of those psychological job-placement tests.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Office managers are not impressed by the dullards that pass the job-placement tests.
Keywords
IQ tests

Indexer Notes

Page 236.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 35)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Bruce Cochran [as Cochran] (signed)
Pencils
Bruce Cochran [as Cochran] (signed)
Inks
Bruce Cochran [as Cochran] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
This is the last panty raid YOU'LL ever organize!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
The leader of a frat house panty raid leads them to—another frat house.
Keywords
college; fraternity; panty raid

Indexer Notes

Page 237.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 36)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Alden Erikson [as A. Erikson] (signed)
Pencils
Alden Erikson [as A. Erikson] (signed)
Inks
Alden Erikson [as A. Erikson] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
He's a great coach. The school hasn't even been built yet and we're already in the top ten!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A football coach doesn't let a detail like not having a college keep him from building a winning team.
Keywords
college; football

Indexer Notes

Page 240.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 37)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Pencils
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Inks
Charles E. Martin [as C.E.M] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Quick! Bury that and not a word to anyone!
Genre
humor; historical
Characters
Columbus
Synopsis
When Columbus comes ashore in the West Indies, the first thing he sees is a Viking helmet.
Keywords
exploration; Vikings; West Indies

Indexer Notes

Page 241.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 38)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Richard Taylor [as R. Taylor] (signed)
Pencils
Richard Taylor [as R. Taylor] (signed)
Inks
Richard Taylor [as R. Taylor] (signed)
Colors
Richard Taylor [as R. Taylor] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I had no idea that a bell captain had the authority to marry people!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man convinces his naive date that a bell captain in a hotel can marry them.
Reprints
Keywords
bell captain; hotel; marriage

Indexer Notes

Page 243.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 39)

cartoon / 0.3 page (report information)

Script
Virgil Partch [as VIP] (signed)
Pencils
Virgil Partch [as VIP] (signed)
Inks
Virgil Partch [as VIP] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Has it ever occurred to you that he might be right and all the rest of us wrong?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Occupants of a skyscraper are puzzled when a man is sitting upside-down on the bottom of a building ledge.
Keywords
building ledge

Indexer Notes

Page 246.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 40)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Glenn Zulauf (signed)
Pencils
Glenn Zulauf (signed)
Inks
Glenn Zulauf (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I want him to have all the things I missed.
Genre
humor; science fiction
Synopsis
A scientist treats his robot like it was his son.
Keywords
robot

Indexer Notes

Page 251.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 41)

comic story / 1 page (report information)

Script
Phil Interlandi [as Interlandi] (signed)
Pencils
Phil Interlandi [as Interlandi] (signed)
Inks
Phil Interlandi [as Interlandi] (signed)
Colors
Phil Interlandi [as Interlandi] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Is that your final decision, Miss Ashcroft?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
When a woman on an expensive speed boat refuses the captain's advances, he dumps her overboard and speeds away.
Keywords
speedboat

Indexer Notes

Page 253. A two-panel comic story.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 42)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Pencils
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Inks
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
... and this machine enabled us to get rid of fifteen accountants.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A manager is proud of his huge mainframe computer, which allowed him to fire 15 accountants. He doesn't realize that it takes 15 technicians to keep the computer going.
Keywords
computer

Indexer Notes

Page 254.

[The Ultimate Kick] (Table of Contents: 43)

Little Annie Fanny / comic story / 4 pages (report information)

Script
Harvey Kurtzman (credited)
Pencils
Will Elder (painting)
Inks
Will Elder (painting)
Colors
Will Elder (painting); Russ Heath (assistant); Larry Siegel (assistant)
Letters
?

Genre
satire-parody
Characters
Ralphie Towzer; Annie Fanny; Timothy Clearly [Timothy Leary spoof]; Richard Burton (cameo); Elizabeth Taylor (cameo);
Synopsis
Spoof of 1960s college campuses.
Reprints
Keywords
adult; cigar; college; demonstrations; drugs; electric guitars; LSD; nudity; pipe; smoking; swearing

Indexer Notes

Pages 258-261. Credits read "by Harvey Kurtzman and Will Elder with Russ Heath and Larry Siegel."
Title from Kurtzman's records.

Editing
Related Scans
Series Information
Table of Contents
  1. 1. ["Take the 8:43 instead. General Motors can wait."]
  2. 2. ["What the hell. I'll make you ALL stars overnight!"]
  3. 3. ["My place or yours? Or right here?"]
  4. 4. ["Your men will be down as soon as they cool off."]
  5. 5. [Captive in Football Huddle]
  6. 6. ["Double or nothing."]
    Vargas
  7. 7. ["What brings you to this neck 'o the woods?"]
  8. 8. ["I'm sure he's the one, Sarge. He's a sociopathic personality with clearly indicated schizoid and depressive tendencies."]
  9. 9. ["Perhaps you should a heart-to-heart talk with him. He's been receiving quite a few books from Grove Press."]
  10. 10. ["What would you say about the evils of LSD if I told you that I tripled my sales record for fiscal 1966-1967 after taking a trip."]
  11. 11. ["Hello, there. Can I help you?"]
  12. 12. [Stilts for Toddler]
  13. 13. ["The way I see it, if you kids hadn't hipped me to that new mouthwash, I wouldn't have been invited to that party, and I wouldn't be pregnant now."]
  14. 14. ["I can't stand his holier-than-thou attitude."]
  15. 15. ["You appeared in my dreams last night—but only as a walk-on—no lines."]
  16. 16. ["So it was a little stomach upset, eh?"]
  17. 17. [Wiping the Scenery Off a Window]
  18. 18. ["Sissy!"]
  19. 19. ["UNCLE CHARLIE!"]
  20. 20. ["We hope you won't forget us, Mr. Pettebone, after you've danced your way to a new life of popularity and social success."]
  21. 21. ["It's easy. First we have to determine if he's a soldier or a guerrilla or a civilian. Then we have to determine if he's on their side or our side. Then..."]
  22. 22. ["You're going to think I'm awful, but could you folks find another spot?"]
  23. 23. ["Where's your protective helmet, young lady?"]
  24. 24. ["TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBERRRRRRR!"]
  25. 25. ["They're turning back anybody who doesn't believe in God."]
  26. 26. ["I don't use Ban Spray Deodorant, and I have a different date up here every night!"]
  27. 27. ["Let's see. We've included voyeurism, nudity, homosexuality, and sadism, but I keep feeling we've forgotten something."]
  28. 28. ["Oh, I don't mind about that. I PREFER sacred cows to the ordinary kind."]
  29. 29. [The Fourth Monkey]
  30. 30. ["If you think I'm going to compete with that, you're crazy!"]
  31. 31. ["I say, chaps! A Ronald Reagan movie!"]
  32. 32. ["I know it's a little unusual señorita, but in this case it's the firing squad who would like to make a last request ..."]
  33. 33. ["Don't call me 'boy'!"]
  34. 34. ["I'm beginning to have serious doubts about the efficiency of those psychological job-placement tests."]
  35. 35. ["This is the last panty raid YOU'LL ever organize!"]
  36. 36. ["He's a great coach. The school hasn't even been built yet and we're already in the top ten!"]
  37. 37. ["Quick! Bury that and not a word to anyone!"]
  38. 38. ["I had no idea that a bell captain had the authority to marry people!"]
  39. 39. ["Has it ever occurred to you that he might be right and all the rest of us wrong?"]
  40. 40. ["I want him to have all the things I missed."]
  41. 41. ["Is that your final decision, Miss Ashcroft?"]
  42. 42. ["... and this machine enabled us to get rid of fifteen accountants."]
  43. 43. [The Ultimate Kick]
    Little Annie Fanny
This issue was most recently modified by:
  • Luther Weaver
  • Steven Samuels