Playboy #v18#2
(February 1971)

Playboy, 1953 Series
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Volume
18
Price
1.00 USD
Pages
234
Indicia Frequency
monthly
Indicia / Colophon Publisher
HMH Publishing Co., Inc.
Editing
Hugh M. Hefner (editor, publisher); A. C. Spectorsky (associate publisher, editorial director)

Issue Notes

Headshot photo of Alden Erikson in "Playbill" on page 3. Arnold Roth title illustration for the humor article "Bringing Russia to Her Knees" by U.S. Representative Thomas Rees on page 101.

The individual issues of this series are each less than 50% comics. Only comics sequences are indexed and cover scans are accepted only if the issue has 10% indexed comics content.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 1)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Rowland B. Wilson (signed)
Pencils
Rowland B. Wilson (signed)
Inks
Rowland B. Wilson (signed)
Colors
Rowland B. Wilson (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Oh, yeah? Well it so happens that I always get MY man, too!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
In the wilderness, two Canadian Mounties disagree over who captured a criminal.
Keywords
Canada; handgun; Mountie; Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Indexer Notes

Page 83. Punchline plays off the Hollywood movies' Royal Canadian Mounted Police slogan "The Mountie always gets his man."

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 2)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Pencils
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Inks
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Colors
Eldon Dedini [as Dedini] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Don't worry about the kid. Every boy has to sow some wild rice.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A Japanese couple, dressed in traditional clothing, don't quite know what to make of their son and his date, both in Western clothes.
Keywords
Japan; kimono

Indexer Notes

Page 97. Punchline is a play on the old saying about a boy "sowing wild oats" before marriage.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 3)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Alden Erikson [as Erikson] (signed)
Pencils
Alden Erikson [as Erikson] (signed)
Inks
Alden Erikson [as Erikson] (signed)
Colors
Alden Erikson [as Erikson] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Surely you jest!
Genre
humor; historical
Synopsis
A king finds his jester hiding nude in the queen's closet.
Keywords
adultery; closet; jester; king; queen

Indexer Notes

Page 119.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 4)

Vargas Girl / cartoon / 2 pages (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Alberto Vargas [as Vargas] (signed, painting)
Inks
Alberto Vargas [as Vargas] (signed, painting)
Colors
Alberto Vargas [as Vargas] (signed, painting)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I really don't think it matters what length you wear; it's HOW you wear it!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A redhead wears a long green robe, open at front, and high heels.
Keywords
high heels

Indexer Notes

Pages 130-131. A two-page pin-up cartoon.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 5)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
John Dempsey (signed)
Pencils
John Dempsey (signed)
Inks
John Dempsey (signed)
Colors
John Dempsey (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
A dozen girls at the party and I bring home the one who's allergic to cats.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A big-game hunter, whose walls are covered with mounted heads of lions, tigers, and other wild cats, pours some liquor, while his date sits on a couch and sneezes.
Keywords
allergy; big-game hunter; leopards; lions; liquor; lynx; mounted animals; taxidermy; tigers

Indexer Notes

Page 137.

Divorce—Hollywood Style (Table of Contents: 6)

cartoon / 5 pages (report information)

Script
Alden Erikson (credited)
Pencils
Alden Erikson (credited)
Inks
Alden Erikson (credited)
Colors
Alden Erikson (credited)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor
Synopsis
Sixteen cartoons concerning the various aspects of divorce in Hollywood.
Keywords
alimony; divorce; Hollywood; homosexual; lawyers

Indexer Notes

Pages 159-163.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 7)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Brian Savage (signed)
Pencils
Brian Savage (signed)
Inks
Brian Savage (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Sure, it's expensive, but can you imagine what it would cost if the big drug companies got hold of it?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Hippies sit around a room, smoking marijuana and commenting on its cost.
Keywords
counterculture; drugs; hippies; marijuana

Indexer Notes

Page 156.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 8)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Bill Lee (signed)
Pencils
Bill Lee (signed)
Inks
Bill Lee (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
If I'M indulging in an act of vulgar sensationalism, what are YOU doing here with a camera crew?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A woman without underwear raises her skirt while news cameras crowd around.
Keywords
exhibitionist; newsmen; television broadcasting; TV cameras

Indexer Notes

Page 157.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 9)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Rowland B. Wilson (signed)
Pencils
Rowland B. Wilson (signed)
Inks
Rowland B. Wilson (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
As a DREAM, of course, it's quite common.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man in a psychiatrist's office is floating high above the couch.
Keywords
dream; flying; psychiatrist

Indexer Notes

Page 171. Punchline reference is to dreaming about being able to fly.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 10)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Buck Brown (signed)
Pencils
Buck Brown (signed)
Inks
Buck Brown (signed)
Colors
Buck Brown (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I must tell you frankly—this is one reason why doctors don't like to make house calls!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A doctor puts on his pants, while a nude woman on the bed restrains her angry husband.
Keywords
adultery; doctor; house call

Indexer Notes

Page 173.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 11)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Dana Frandon (signed)
Pencils
Dana Frandon (signed)
Inks
Dana Frandon (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Don't the railroads have ENOUGH troubles?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
In a modern version of the old cliche, a man ties a woman to railroad tracks.
Keywords
bondage; railroad tracks

Indexer Notes

Page 174.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 12)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Bud Handelsman [as Handelsman] (signed)
Pencils
Bud Handelsman [as Handelsman] (signed)
Inks
Bud Handelsman [as Handelsman] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
That's right, my dear; I, too, am a parasite. But I, at least, am a self-supporting parasite.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man argues with his counterculture daughter.
Keywords
counterculture; generation gap; guitar

Indexer Notes

Page 176.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 13)

cartoon / 0.3 page (report information)

Script
Virgil Partch [as VIP] (signed)
Pencils
Virgil Partch [as VIP] (signed)
Inks
Virgil Partch [as VIP] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Don't you EVER have any cash on you?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A woman is forced to pay the check at a restaurant because her date isn't wearing any clothes.
Keywords
nude; restaurant

Indexer Notes

Page 177.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 14)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Pencils
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Inks
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Colors
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Congratulations, Baer—I think you've wiped out the species!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A hunter has tracked down a beast in the snow and blasted it with a shotgun.
Reprints
Keywords
extinct; hunter; shotgun; snow

Indexer Notes

Page 181. There's lots of blood, but the nature of what was killed is left to the imagination.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 15)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Pencils
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Inks
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
It's worse than we thought. She's waiting for the right GIRL to come along.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Parents worry about their single daughter.
Keywords
lesbian; parents

Indexer Notes

Page 185.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 16)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Donald Reilly (signed)
Pencils
Donald Reilly (signed)
Inks
Donald Reilly (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
This 'pig' business upsets me. Why can't they simply call people horses' asses, as we did?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Two older business men discuss events printed in the newspaper.
Keywords
generation gap; newspaper; pig; police; slang

Indexer Notes

Page 185. Policemen were called 'pigs' by demonstrators in protest marches and elsewhere.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 17)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Pencils
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Inks
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Colors
Francis Wilford-Smith [as Smilby] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Trust YOU to wonder what sort of boobs she had.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
In an art museum, a couple is looking at a large classical painting of a partially-undressed woman facing away from the viewer.
Keywords
museum; nude; painting

Indexer Notes

Page 187.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 18)

cartoon / 0.33 page (report information)

Script
Malcolm Hancock [as Mal] (signed)
Pencils
Malcolm Hancock [as Mal] (signed)
Inks
Malcolm Hancock [as Mal] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
My landlord doesn't allow dogs or cats.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man has a large walrus on a leash.
Keywords
leash; walrus

Indexer Notes

Page 189.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 19)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Chon Day (signed)
Pencils
Chon Day (signed)
Inks
Chon Day (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
No fluoride. No pollution. Just pure gin.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man at a bar looks admiringly at his glass of gin.
Keywords
bar; bartender; gin; liquor

Indexer Notes

Page 190.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 20)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Bill Hoest [as Hoest] (signed)
Pencils
Bill Hoest [as Hoest] (signed)
Inks
Bill Hoest [as Hoest] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'll tell you why I've had so many children ... I didn't know what to do!
Genre
humor; fantasy-supernatural
Synopsis
The Woman Who Lives in a Shoe complains to a neighbor lady about having too many children.
Keywords
birth control; children; nursery rhyme; shoe

Indexer Notes

Page 191. Based on the nursery rhyme "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe," though in this case she's not that old.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 21)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Pencils
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Inks
Gahan Wilson (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Take it from me, madam—the passing years can only add to the value of this Spiro T. Agnew standing hall clock.
Genre
humor; satire-parody
Synopsis
A salesman tries to sell a ridiculous nude sculpture of Vice-President Spiro T. Agnew with a clock in his stomach.
Keywords
clock; nude; sculpture; vice-president

Indexer Notes

Page 193.

[Repent Ye Fornicators] (Table of Contents: 22)

cartoon / 0.33 page (report information)

Script
Charles Rodrigues [as Rodrigues] (signed)
Pencils
Charles Rodrigues [as Rodrigues] (signed)
Inks
Charles Rodrigues [as Rodrigues] (signed)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor
Synopsis
A religious zealot walks through "Lovers Lane" placing a disapproving placard on each car's windshield.
Keywords
lovers lane; placard; windshield; zealot

Indexer Notes

Page 195.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 23)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Roy Raymonde [as Raymonde] (signed)
Pencils
Roy Raymonde [as Raymonde] (signed)
Inks
Roy Raymonde [as Raymonde] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Why don't you ever do that for me anymore?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
In a restaurant, a woman bares her breasts and offers them to a waiter.
Keywords
breasts; restaurant; waiter

Indexer Notes

Page 197.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 24)

cartoon / 0.3 page (report information)

Script
Marty Murphy (signed)
Pencils
Marty Murphy (signed)
Inks
Marty Murphy (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Aw, I don't think there's too much violence on TV ...
Genre
humor
Synopsis
An off-duty policeman, still in his uniform, watches television while holding a beer.
Keywords
beer; police; television

Indexer Notes

Page 198.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 25)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
B Kliban (signed)
Pencils
B Kliban (signed)
Inks
B Kliban (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
It's no good, Marshall ... I'm sick of you and your oral sex!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A woman starts to get dressed while a man is biting her buttocks.
Keywords
nude; oral sex

Indexer Notes

Page 199.

[Breast Bicep] (Table of Contents: 26)

cartoon / 0.5 page (report information)

Script
Howard Shoemaker [as Shoemaker] (signed)
Pencils
Howard Shoemaker [as Shoemaker] (signed)
Inks
Howard Shoemaker [as Shoemaker] (signed)

Genre
humor
Synopsis
A woman in a "Women's Lib" shirt, carrying a N.O.W. protest sign, has one of her breasts in place of her right bicep.
Keywords
women's liberation

Indexer Notes

Page 203.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 27)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Edmond Kirazian [as Kiraz] (signed)
Pencils
Edmond Kirazian [as Kiraz] (signed)
Inks
Edmond Kirazian [as Kiraz] (signed)
Colors
Edmond Kirazian [as Kiraz] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Hello. My name is Talkie Tessie ...
Genre
humor
Synopsis
Two teens, making out on the family couch are startled when a talking doll suddenly becomes active.
Keywords
couch; talking doll; teen

Indexer Notes

Page 205.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 28)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Bruce Cochran [as Cochran!] (signed)
Pencils
Bruce Cochran [as Cochran!] (signed)
Inks
Bruce Cochran [as Cochran!] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
MAN, it's cold! I think I'll go back to the barn and slip into a nice warm Jersey.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A couple of bulls are outside on a cold, snowy day.
Keywords
barn; bulls; cattle; double-entendre; farm; snow

Indexer Notes

Page 208. Jersey is a breed of cattle.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 29)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Pencils
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Inks
Sidney Harris [as S. Harris] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
The staff here feels the Government was right in curtailing production of biological warfare agents. And it won't cause us any personal hardship. We're all competent scientists—perfectly able to go into CHEMICAL warfare.
Genre
humor; military
Synopsis
Two military scientists discuss having a career change; from biological warfare to chemical warfare.
Keywords
biological warfare; chemical warfare; military; scientists

Indexer Notes

Page 209.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 30)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Don Madden (signed)
Pencils
Don Madden (signed)
Inks
Don Madden (signed)
Colors
Don Madden (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
We always try to have an obscenity trial on his birthday.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A judge has to decide whether a woman dressed in a skimpy butterfly costume is violating the law.
Keywords
courtroom; judge; lawyers; nude; obscenity; police

Indexer Notes

Page 211.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 31)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Ron Ault (signed)
Pencils
Ron Ault (signed)
Inks
Ron Ault (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Thank you for a very nice time.
Genre
humor; religious
Characters
Adam; Eve
Synopsis
Eve takes a moment to thank the angel with a flaming sword who is driving her and Adam from the Garden of Eden.
Keywords
angel; Bible; Garden of Eden; sword

Indexer Notes

Page 213.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 32)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Ron Taylor [as R. Taylor] (signed)
Pencils
Ron Taylor [as R. Taylor] (signed)
Inks
Ron Taylor [as R. Taylor] (signed)
Colors
Ron Taylor [as R. Taylor] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
See what I mean, Miss Markley? When you said no, you didn't give it any depth or meaning; and if I didn't believe what you said, how do you expect an audience to believe what you're saying?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A drama coach uses an acting lesson as a pretense to have sex with a young female student.
Keywords
acting; casting couch

Indexer Notes

Page 215.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 33)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Buck Brown (signed)
Pencils
Buck Brown (signed)
Inks
Buck Brown (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I just love the way he says 'Mother.'
Genre
humor
Synopsis
An elderly white couple are watching a Black Power activist give a speech on television.
Keywords
African-American; insult; slang; speech; television

Indexer Notes

Page 216.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 34)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Joseph Farris (signed)
Pencils
Joseph Farris (signed)
Inks
Joseph Farris (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
We give you an office with a window and this is the gratitude you show?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
An office manager is annoyed when one of his employees is on the ledge of the building, preparing to jump.
Keywords
ledge; skyscraper; suicide

Indexer Notes

Page 217.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 35)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Phil Interlandi [as Interlandi] (signed)
Pencils
Phil Interlandi [as Interlandi] (signed)
Inks
Phil Interlandi [as Interlandi] (signed)
Colors
Phil Interlandi [as Interlandi] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm sure there must be some rule against picking up hitchhikers!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man picks up a pretty young woman while they are being towed back up the ski run on a T-Bar ski lift, much to his wife's annoyance.
Keywords
ski lift; snow skiing; T-bar; winter

Indexer Notes

Page 219.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 36)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
George Dole (signed)
Pencils
George Dole (signed)
Inks
George Dole (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
His only pleasures are visits from his grandchildren.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
An old man is visualizing a young naked woman.
Keywords
cane; elderly; nude; pipe; smoking

Indexer Notes

Page 220.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 37)

cartoon / 0.4 page (report information)

Script
Mort Gerberg (signed)
Pencils
Mort Gerberg (signed)
Inks
Mort Gerberg (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Miss Anders, how would you like to meet a handsome young labor leader and help end a crippling strike at the same time?
Genre
humor
Synopsis
At a restaurant table, a businessman makes a proposition to a young woman.
Keywords
cigarettes; labor union; restaurant; smoking; strike

Indexer Notes

Page 222.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 38)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
Peter Paul Porges [as Porges] (signed)
Pencils
Peter Paul Porges [as Porges] (signed)
Inks
Peter Paul Porges [as Porges] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Your fly is open!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A man is attracting a lot of female attention as he goes low under the limbo bar, but not for the reason he thinks.
Keywords
fly; limbo; slang; zipper

Indexer Notes

Page 223.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 39)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Michael Ffolkes [as ffolkes] (signed)
Pencils
Michael Ffolkes [as ffolkes] (signed)
Inks
Michael Ffolkes [as ffolkes] (signed)
Colors
Michael Ffolkes [as ffolkes] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Oh, I used to play this when I was at school.
Genre
humor
Synopsis
A couple enters an apartment, where they find the guests playing Musical Chairs—in the nude.
Keywords
apartment; musical chairs; nude; party; piano

Indexer Notes

Page 225.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 40)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
Robert Censoni [as Censoni] (signed)
Pencils
Robert Censoni [as Censoni] (signed)
Inks
Robert Censoni [as Censoni] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
If I told my friends what I did all day, they wouldn't believe me!
Genre
humor
Synopsis
For a painting, a nude male model is posed looking at the crotch of a nude female model, who is lying on a couch.
Keywords
models; nude; painting

Indexer Notes

Page 227.

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 41)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
Buck Brown (signed)
Pencils
Buck Brown (signed)
Inks
Buck Brown (signed)
Colors
Buck Brown (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Keep down, you fool! D'ya want the Indians to get you?
Genre
humor; western-frontier
Synopsis
During an Indian attack, an Army soldier is distracted by the amorous advances of the "Dirty Old Lady."
Keywords
Army; arrows; bows; horses; Indians; rifle; wagon

Indexer Notes

Page 229. Part of the "Dirty Old Lady" series.

Editing
Related Scans
Series Information
Table of Contents
  1. 1. ["Oh, yeah? Well it so happens that I always get MY man, too!"]
  2. 2. ["Don't worry about the kid. Every boy has to sow some wild rice."]
  3. 3. ["Surely you jest!"]
  4. 4. ["I really don't think it matters what length you wear; it's HOW you wear it!"]
    Vargas Girl
  5. 5. ["A dozen girls at the party and I bring home the one who's allergic to cats."]
  6. 6. Divorce—Hollywood Style
  7. 7. ["Sure, it's expensive, but can you imagine what it would cost if the big drug companies got hold of it?"]
  8. 8. ["If I'M indulging in an act of vulgar sensationalism, what are YOU doing here with a camera crew?"]
  9. 9. ["As a DREAM, of course, it's quite common."]
  10. 10. ["I must tell you frankly—this is one reason why doctors don't like to make house calls!"]
  11. 11. ["Don't the railroads have ENOUGH troubles?"]
  12. 12. ["That's right, my dear; I, too, am a parasite. But I, at least, am a self-supporting parasite."]
  13. 13. ["Don't you EVER have any cash on you?"]
  14. 14. ["Congratulations, Baer—I think you've wiped out the species!"]
  15. 15. ["It's worse than we thought. She's waiting for the right GIRL to come along."]
  16. 16. ["This 'pig' business upsets me. Why can't they simply call people horses' asses, as we did?"]
  17. 17. ["Trust YOU to wonder what sort of boobs she had."]
  18. 18. ["My landlord doesn't allow dogs or cats."]
  19. 19. ["No fluoride. No pollution. Just pure gin."]
  20. 20. ["I'll tell you why I've had so many children ... I didn't know what to do!"]
  21. 21. ["Take it from me, madam—the passing years can only add to the value of this Spiro T. Agnew standing hall clock."]
  22. 22. [Repent Ye Fornicators]
  23. 23. ["Why don't you ever do that for me anymore?"]
  24. 24. ["Aw, I don't think there's too much violence on TV ..."]
  25. 25. ["It's no good, Marshall ... I'm sick of you and your oral sex!"]
  26. 26. [Breast Bicep]
  27. 27. ["Hello. My name is Talkie Tessie ..."]
  28. 28. ["MAN, it's cold! I think I'll go back to the barn and slip into a nice warm Jersey."]
  29. 29. ["The staff here feels the Government was right in curtailing production of biological warfare agents. And it won't cause us any personal hardship. We're all competent scientists—perfectly able to go into CHEMICAL warfare."]
  30. 30. ["We always try to have an obscenity trial on his birthday."]
  31. 31. ["Thank you for a very nice time."]
  32. 32. ["See what I mean, Miss Markley? When you said no, you didn't give it any depth or meaning; and if I didn't believe what you said, how do you expect an audience to believe what you're saying?"]
  33. 33. ["I just love the way he says 'Mother.'"]
  34. 34. ["We give you an office with a window and this is the gratitude you show?"]
  35. 35. ["I'm sure there must be some rule against picking up hitchhikers!"]
  36. 36. ["His only pleasures are visits from his grandchildren."]
  37. 37. ["Miss Anders, how would you like to meet a handsome young labor leader and help end a crippling strike at the same time?"]
  38. 38. ["Your fly is open!"]
  39. 39. ["Oh, I used to play this when I was at school."]
  40. 40. ["If I told my friends what I did all day, they wouldn't believe me!"]
  41. 41. ["Keep down, you fool! D'ya want the Indians to get you?"]
This issue was modified by
  • Steven Samuels
  • Luther Weaver