([January] 1974)

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Price
1.25 USD
Pages
68
Indicia Frequency
?
Indicia / Colophon Publisher
S.R.I. Publishing Co.
Editing
?

Gold Digger's (Table of Contents)

cover / 1 page (report information)

Pencils
Pierre Davis (signed) (painting)
Inks
Pierre Davis (signed) (painting)
Colors
Pierre Davis (signed) (painting)
Letters
?

Genre
humor
Keywords
adult

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 1)

cartoon / 1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Inks
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
What do you mean, why did I stop? You really are new at this, aren't you?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 2)

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First Line of Dialogue or Text
Man, you really wasted your dime on this obscene call!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 3)

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Script
?
Pencils
Brad Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Brad Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Unless this is another elephant joke, you're in for a multiple birth.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 4)

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?
Pencils
? [as Thor] (signed)
Inks
? [as Thor] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
And another thing, Willis... start cleaning up in here before you go home at night.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 5)

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Script
?
Pencils
James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
Inks
James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You're good, honey... but you sure picked a crummy location!
Genre
humor

[Dog Catcher] (Table of Contents: 6)

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Script
?
Pencils
Tom Davie (signed as Davie)
Inks
Tom Davie (signed as Davie)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 7)

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Script
?
Pencils
? (signed)
Inks
? (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Isn't that the widest thing you ever saw?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 8)

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Script
?
Pencils
Bob Lindsey (signed)
Inks
Bob Lindsey (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'll be late getting home, dear. You know how slow these trains can be.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 9)

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Script
?
Pencils
Robert Stogsdill (signed as Stogs)
Inks
Robert Stogsdill (signed as Stogs)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'll see you three gallstones and raise you an ovarian cyst.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 10)

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?
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
Mom, the Madame phoned and said you could take the rest of the night off.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 11)

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Pencils
? (signed)
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? (signed)
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
How about a little fairy tail before you go to sleep?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 12)

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Script
?
Pencils
Richard Riley (signed)
Inks
Richard Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
And now let's hear your asinine distortion of the matter, Mr. Farb.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 13)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as diluc] (signed)
Inks
? [as diluc] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Look, I appreciate you giving your dumdum son a few pointers, but this is ridiculous!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 14)

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First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm worried... we seem to have more workers at the end of each day.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 15)

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Script
?
Pencils
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Inks
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
When my husband staggers into the office this morning, I have some information that should wake him up.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 16)

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First Line of Dialogue or Text
No dessert, waiter... my date has a better idea.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 17)

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Script
?
Pencils
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Inks
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I wish I hadn't given up smoking. I'd like to take a cigarette break.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 18)

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Script
?
Pencils
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Inks
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Let's be fair, Diana... I don't want to be just a sex object, either.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 19)

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First Line of Dialogue or Text
Hello, druggist? I'd like to reserve a Morning After Pill for tomorrow morning.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 20)

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Script
?
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed as Riley)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed as Riley)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Hey, Susie, you wanna get in a floatin' crap game?
Genre
humor

[Which Restroom] (Table of Contents: 21)

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Script
?
Pencils
? (signed)
Inks
? (signed)

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 22)

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?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
At last, Dr. Livinston... we've discovered the source of the Nile!
Genre
humor
Keywords
gorilla; Nile

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 23)

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Script
?
Pencils
George Winners (signed as Winners)
Inks
George Winners (signed as Winners)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You'll like my folks. They're always out cheating on each other!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 24)

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First Line of Dialogue or Text
You may hate yourself in the morning if you do, but have you thought how I'll hate you if you don't?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 25)

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Script
?
Pencils
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Inks
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I've decided to marry your other daughter. This one tips over too easy.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 26)

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Pencils
? (signed)
Inks
? (signed)
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
I had to do it, Officer... he found a substitute for sex.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 27)

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Script
?
Pencils
Robert Stogsdill (signed as Stogs)
Inks
Robert Stogsdill (signed as Stogs)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
My wife's better than yours, and you know it!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 28)

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Pencils
? (signed)
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? (signed)
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
ALL others?
Genre
humor

[Man with Both Hands in Casts] (Table of Contents: 29)

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Script
?
Pencils
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Inks
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 30)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Inks
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I don't care if he is the warden's brother... that's unfair to the other cons.
Genre
humor
Keywords
prison

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 31)

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Pencils
? (signed)
Inks
? (signed)
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
You're right, the best defense is a good offense. But that brings up another point...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 32)

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Pencils
? (signed)
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? (signed)
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
Golly, Mother... Cousin Elmo's belly button is this long!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 33)

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Pencils
? (signed)
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? (signed)
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
What're you doing now? We're... whew... going to be late for the... whew... party.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 34)

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Script
?
Pencils
John Kennedy (signed)
Inks
John Kennedy (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Our marriage has taken on new dimensions... buy my wife doesn't know about them yet.
Genre
humor

[Crushed Nuts!] (Table of Contents: 35)

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Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 36)

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?
Pencils
?
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?
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
Here comes Lanny the Lush... just take his money and tell him you already did...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 37)

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Script
?
Pencils
Randy Glasbergen (signed)
Inks
Randy Glasbergen (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
General Washington was delighted with my piecework. You should've seen his eyes bug out when he came!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 38)

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Script
?
Pencils
George Winners (signed as Winners)
Inks
George Winners (signed as Winners)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
The job pays two hundred a week with a ten-inch bonus!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 39)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Kennedy (signed)
Inks
John Kennedy (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Will the stopover in Paris allow time for a tango?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 40)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Richard Riley (signed)
Inks
Richard Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Where are your privates, Sergeant?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 41)

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Script
?
Pencils
Don Hester (signed)
Inks
Don Hester (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
How would you like to wind me up?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 42)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Inks
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Yeah, she looks nice on canvas... but she feels better on a satin sheet.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 43)

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Script
?
Pencils
John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
Inks
John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I know you're trying, sweetheart, but that's not what the marriage counsellor meant by 'Work on ways to warm up during sex'.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 44)

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Script
?
Pencils
Ted Robins (signed)
Inks
Ted Robins (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Stanley is so affectionate since he came back from overseas... he calls me his little honey wagon.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 45)

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Script
?
Pencils
George Winners (signed as Winners)
Inks
George Winners (signed as Winners)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Never mind, 'what's typing and shorthand?' you're hired.
Genre
humor

[Modern Proctology Research Center] (Table of Contents: 46)

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Script
?
Pencils
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Inks
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 47)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)
Inks
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Ooops! Your tube fell out.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 48)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Inks
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Tell your daughter her people-powered phallic device is here.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 49)

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Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as J. Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as J. Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I tried loving my neighbor... her husband nearly killed me.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 50)

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Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
How do you like her, Uncle Davie
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 51)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as Woof] (signed)
Inks
? [as Woof] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
A man gave me this and told me to run off with it!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 52)

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Pencils
?
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?
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
You won't get much for a lollipop, Mister. That routine is older than your car.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 53)

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?
Pencils
?
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?
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
It says it has to do a No. 2
Genre
humor
Keywords
mainframe computer

[Bath House] (Table of Contents: 54)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Tom Davie (signed as Davie)
Inks
Tom Davie (signed as Davie)

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 55)

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Script
?
Pencils
John McLachlan (signed)
Inks
John McLachlan (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I see you've done business with us horse soldiers before...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 56)

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Script
?
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed as Riley)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed as Riley)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Paw says as long as the damage has been done, he'd like to try it, too.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 57)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as Sinned] (signed)
Inks
? [as Sinned] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I wonder if we're slipping... it's been ages since we were picked up in a vice raid.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 58)

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Pencils
? (signed)
Inks
? (signed)
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
This red ribbon means it's my time of the month.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 59)

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Pencils
?
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?
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
How about a little fowl play?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 60)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as LOP] (signed)
Inks
? [as LOP] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Pardon me, but I couldn't help overhearing my room mate say she doesn't want any tonight.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 61)

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?
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?
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
Yeah... you were real good... considering what little you had to work with...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 62)

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Script
?
Pencils
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Inks
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Don't worry, little feller... I'll put some meat on those bones of yours!
Genre
humor
Keywords
castaway; desert island

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 63)

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?
Pencils
? (signed)
Inks
? (signed)
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
No, no, Thelma... you're supposed to start noticing boys!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 64)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as JM] (signed)
Inks
? [as JM] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
No, that's not my wife's size. I can wrap one finger around hers.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 65)

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Script
?
Pencils
John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
Inks
John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
From what I saw through the peephole, I'm sure you folks enjoyed your stay with us.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 66)

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Script
?
Pencils
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Inks
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Okay, wise guy... stop making that slurping noise.
Genre
humor
Keywords
jail

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 67)

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Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw ? (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw ? (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
We're updating. Do you have any idea how much time is spent douching each night?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 68)

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Script
?
Pencils
Jack Chism (signed as Chism)
Inks
Jack Chism (signed as Chism)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Clyde never touches the stuff... except to drop in a little Spanish Fly now and then.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 69)

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Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Er... how old did you say you were?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 70)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as LOP] (signed)
Inks
? [as LOP] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Eenie, meenie, miney, moe... which little button makes you go?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 71)

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?
Pencils
? (signed)
Inks
? (signed)
Letters
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First Line of Dialogue or Text
Never mind about the high level of industrial pollutants... get in!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 72)

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Script
?
Pencils
Randy Glasbergen (signed)
Inks
Randy Glasbergen (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Would you mind oiling up your bed springs? They're futching up our rhythm downstairs.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 73)

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Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm pretty busy tonight. Do you have a reservation?
Genre
humor
Keywords
Native American

[Home Made Wings] (Table of Contents: 74)

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Script
?
Pencils
Piston O'Toole (signed)
Inks
Piston O'Toole (signed)

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 75)

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Script
?
Pencils
Joe Sinardi (signed as Sinardi)
Inks
Joe Sinardi (signed as Sinardi)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Don't be upset about your grades, Miss Peach... I've got a special Extra Credit Project for you.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 76)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)
Inks
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
The way you carry on, you'd think you were the first girl I've knocked up.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 77)

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Script
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Well, I was just going shopping. But I can swing through Los Angeles.
Genre
humor

Indexer Notes

hitch-hiker

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 78)

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Script
Mort Anderson (signed as Mort)
Pencils
Mort Anderson (signed as Mort)
Inks
Mort Anderson (signed as Mort)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Okay, just so you won't be embarrassed...I'll show you mine first.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 79)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
Bill Riley (signed)
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Let me go, bushter... can't you shee her giving me the ol' come-on?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 80)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
? [as J.Lark] (signed)
Pencils
? [as J.Lark] (signed)
Inks
? [as J.Lark] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Cyrano, I've got a special request tonight.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 81)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Madame tells me this is your first time, kid.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 82)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
Bill Riley (signed)
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm too stiff? You should talk!
Genre
humor
Keywords
golf

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 83)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
Chuck Miller (signed as Chuck)
Pencils
Chuck Miller (signed as Chuck)
Inks
Chuck Miller (signed as Chuck)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm having trouble meeting girls.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 84)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Close that door! You want me to catch cold?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 85)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)
Pencils
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)
Inks
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Now do you see why they call me Hot Lips?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 86)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Henry Hardin (signed as Hardin)
Inks
Henry Hardin (signed as Hardin)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Sir... Madame... your suite is ready.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 87)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Flynn (signed)
Inks
Jack Flynn (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I've seen 'em so ugly you had to cover their face, but this is ridiculous.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 88)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jim Lindensmith (signed)
Inks
Jim Lindensmith (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I thought you had the search warrant!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 89)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Flynn (signed)
Inks
Jack Flynn (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Don't be so old fashioned, Daddy... use your bazooka!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 90)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Ward (signed)
Inks
Bill Ward (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Miss Witchbitch will tell you about Display Advertising...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 91)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Joe Sinardi (signed as Sinardi)
Inks
Joe Sinardi (signed as Sinardi)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'll say one thing... Coach sure knows how to use Visual Aids in his pep talks!
Genre
humor
Keywords
football

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 92)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Hi, Flatso... who did that for you?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 93)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
George Winners (signed as Winners)
Inks
George Winners (signed as Winners)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Sell you a little piece... after all the men I've had? You've gotta be kidding!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 94)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jackie Moore (signed)
Inks
Jackie Moore (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
We call this our 'Bait and Switch' model.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 95)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I know butlers are hard to find, but did you have to offer out daughter as a fringe benefit?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 96)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I don't care if the beach is crowded... lay someplace else!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 97)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Inks
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm getting plenty of attention at the clinic, dear.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 98)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Flynn (signed)
Inks
Jack Flynn (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
We don't refer to our employees as 'prostitutes'. They're 'Erection Deconstruction Engineers'.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 99)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
She sure shakes hands great when she isn't wearing her glasses.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 100)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
? [as LOP] (signed)
Inks
? [as LOP] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Send the car around... I've shot my limit.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 101)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Joe Sinardi (signed as Sinardi)
Inks
Joe Sinardi (signed as Sinardi)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I believe my stepdaughter has something that belongs to you, too, Prince Charming...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 102)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I sure would like a nice banana split.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 103)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Flynn (signed)
Inks
Jack Flynn (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Couldn't you two wait?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 104)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Everyone's nuts about Fran... she's so nearsighted she can't tell her friends unless they're right on top of her!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 105)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Is either one of you named Henry Rumplemyer?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 106)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed as Riley)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed as Riley)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
What makes you think I was playing footsies with our hostess?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 107)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
How do you figure women? That dumb saloon gal gets me undressed, then tells me to start riding!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 108)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
They're silicone injections... I'm fighting inflation with inflation!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 109)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
The maid will take over all your duties except washing, ironing, cleaning and cooking.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 110)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Inks
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
42% were for the permissive society, 37% were against... and 21% wanted to join.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 111)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Inks
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I don't know if I'll keep this hat... strange men keep asking me to multiply.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 112)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Mort Anderson (signed as Mort)
Inks
Mort Anderson (signed as Mort)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
If that was a fate worse than death, I think I'll commit suicide!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 113)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Kennedy (signed)
Inks
John Kennedy (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Know what I hope? I hope you're just getting started.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 114)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Charles Dennis (signed as Dennis)
Inks
Charles Dennis (signed as Dennis)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I can't do horses!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 115)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
Inks
James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Whatever you do, don't mention that thing Mom does with Uncle Warren.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 116)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Mr. Smithers, I'll bet you're plumb glad your wife gets home today!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 117)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I don't care if gas is cheap... it's scare, and I like the service I get from the coal handler!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 118)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Don't shoot yet, Paw... he hasn't done anything worth marrying for.
Genre
humor
Keywords
hillbilly

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 119)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Don DeLorimier (signed as deLorimier)
Inks
Don DeLorimier (signed as deLorimier)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Suddenly I have this terrible craving to eat a pussy.
Genre
humor
Keywords
cat; desert isle

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 120)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Please don't think less of me, Harold, but... I've never been to a man's bedroom before.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 121)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Call back later, Jan. I'm helping Freddie with his pimple problem.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 122)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bob Zahn (signed)
Inks
Bob Zahn (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Go ahead, shoot him. See if I care!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 123)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Tom Isbell (signed)
Inks
Tom Isbell (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Nice going, son. I was beginning to think you were a fag.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 124)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Chuck Miller (signed as Chuck)
Inks
Chuck Miller (signed as Chuck)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
It's a sad case. He spent three years on a desert island... with his mother.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 125)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Never mind the preliminaries... start in where you left off last week!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 126)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
The making was great, but I'm too spent to spend it!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 127)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Inks
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Th-thanks, Mister... I'm getting airsick!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 128)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jim Lindensmith (signed)
Inks
Jim Lindensmith (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Now then, sir, does this refresh your memory?
Genre
humor
Keywords
courtroom

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 129)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Of course I've been happy since our marriage Herbert... right now I can't tell you how happy I am!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 130)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You look like the guy I met last night bu you sure don't feel like him!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 131)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
? [as Casa Nova]
Inks
? [as Casa Nova]
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Steve would be furious if he saw me like this. He paid $40 for my new bathing suit.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 132)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Brlej (signed as Brlej)
Inks
John Brlej (signed as Brlej)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
From the size of this thing, I'd say you've been getting plenty!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 133)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Tom Isbell (signed)
Inks
Tom Isbell (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I hope you're not gonna be one of those brides who has to go in the bathroom and cry for an hour.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 134)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Sex is all you men think about! I'll bet you wouldn't want to marry me if I wasn't a girl!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 135)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
? [as Chuck] (signed)
Inks
? [as Chuck] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
How long have you had this fear of shaving?
Genre
humor

[Waterbeds] (Table of Contents: 136)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Brlej (signed as Brlej)
Inks
John Brlej (signed as Brlej)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor
Keywords
mermaid

[Ball] (Table of Contents: 137)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bob Zahn (signed)
Inks
Bob Zahn (signed)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 138)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Old Zeke sure has a time gettin' the kids of his to wash up good.
Genre
humor
Keywords
hillbilly

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 139)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
If money won't buy it, how about Wednesday and Thurday evenings off...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 140)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
But I must know, dear... in what way is his product better?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 141)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
? [as Woof] (signed)
Inks
? [as Woof] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Gosh, Mrs. Wilson... your stitches must've come out!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 142)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Don Hester (signed)
Inks
Don Hester (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Just had to have a damb water bed, didn't you, Earl?
Genre
humor

[Delivery Room] (Table of Contents: 143)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Don DeLorimier (signed as deLorimier)
Inks
Don DeLorimier (signed as deLorimier)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 144)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ed Davis (signed as EDavis)
Inks
Ed Davis (signed as EDavis)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm getting on helluva message without watching the hands!
Genre
humor
Keywords
hula dancer

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 145)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Inks
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Your shell or mine?
Genre
humor
Keywords
turtle

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 146)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Don DeLorimier (signed as deLorimier)
Inks
Don DeLorimier (signed as deLorimier)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Oh, dear... I'm afraid they've been spending too much time in the Bat Cave together.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 147)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Dear Readers: This cartoon isn't too great, but the model was.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 148)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Henry Hardin (signed)
Inks
Henry Hardin (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Okay, Blue...go find me some stuff!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 149)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Ward ?
Inks
Bill Ward ?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm making New Year's Resolutions. Would you mind if I gave up sex?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 150)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed as Riley)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed as Riley)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I win our bet, dear... Pierre is all man!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 151)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Your daughter's boyfriend wants to know if he gets a discount.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 152)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Inks
Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
And to think, when I was asked to do a command performance, I practiced like hell on my harpsichord!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 153)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Tom Davie (signed as Davie)
Inks
Tom Davie (signed as Davie)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
All right, Doctor, you can have some right after this patient leaves. Now please get your mind back on what you're doing.
Genre
humor
Keywords
doctor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 154)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Don Hester (signed)
Inks
Don Hester (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm waiting for Avery to get home from the nude movie...what are you doing?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 155)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
It's not upside down to my boyfriend
Genre
humor
Keywords
tattoo

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 156)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Inks
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Know what I learned today? Teachers don't play stinkfinger like use kids do.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 157)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Ward ?
Inks
Bill Ward ?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Here's the engagement ring I promised you, Betty... if you're still interested!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 158)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
The girl next door... sunbathing nude? Why, no, dear, I hadn't noticed.
Genre
humor
Keywords
telescope

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 159)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John McLachlan (signed)
Inks
John McLachlan (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You're just the kind of nice, sweet, innocent girl I want to take home to Mother and... hey, what's that?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 160)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm warning you, Smedlap... whatever this is, it had better be dambed important!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 161)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Our neighbor has been very good about helping Junior with his homework every night.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 162)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I've been bragging what a good piece you are, Bertha, bot Orville won't believe me.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 163)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Riley (signed)
Inks
Bill Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
It's all right, Madame. He's paying me to help him kick the habit.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 164)

cartoon / 0.33 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Inks
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
So long... I'm moving into larger quarters.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 165)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Charles Dennis (signed as Dennis)
Inks
Charles Dennis (signed as Dennis)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Gee, Mom, I wish Harold knew what you're accusing him of... would you tell him how to do it?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 166)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
Inks
John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
What's this $100 for 'HOOKERS' in our check book? Have you been buying more fishing equipment?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 167)

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Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
OK, so I'm 5 months late and I've gained 20 pounds... that doesn't prove anything.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 168)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Brlej (signed as Brlej)
Inks
John Brlej (signed as Brlej)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm writing to 'Dear Abbey'. What's the word for a sexually inadequate man?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 169)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
But, Mother, his analyst says we shouldn't interfere when he shows signs of self expression.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 170)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bob Zahn (signed)
Inks
Bob Zahn (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Gad! And Marcus Welby thinks he gets involved with his patients!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 171)

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Script
?
Pencils
John McLachlan (signed)
Inks
John McLachlan (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Who's the lucky girl?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 172)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
That's not what I meant when I said I wanted to see something in a sports car.
Genre
humor
Keywords
used car salesman

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 173)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Earl Engleman ?
Inks
Earl Engleman ?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Who said anything about your suit being indecent? You're under arrest for running a Sandcastle of Ill Repute!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 174)

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Script
?
Pencils
Don Hester (signed) (signature cut off)
Inks
Don Hester (signed) (signature cut off)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I thought you said this was an intimate bar!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 175)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Dick Lucas
Inks
Dick Lucas
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Welcome to the Desert Island Hilton. I'll take care of those bags.
Genre
humor
Keywords
desert island

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 176)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Now, I'll show you Women's Liberation Movement #3.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 177)

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Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I'm not being coy, Sailor... just take my word for it, you're wasting your time!
Genre
humor
Keywords
mermaid

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 178)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I believe in using your talents. Bardot has a body, Callas can sing, and me... I've got three lovely daughters!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 179)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Remember them pink-ripe tomatoes... all looks and no taste...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 180)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bob Zahn (signed as Zahn)
Inks
Bob Zahn (signed as Zahn)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Sorry, Lady... I'm only good for one a night.
Genre
humor

[Wanted Someone Who Likes to Handle Meat] (Table of Contents: 181)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 182)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Hey Buddy, what was the big idea standing me up? I lost a $100 customer waiting for you!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 183)

cartoon / 0.25 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Tom Davie (signed as Davie)
Inks
Tom Davie (signed as Davie)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Terrible news, sire! Your harem has been infiltrated by Women's Lib!
Genre
humor
Keywords
harem

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 184)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lo Linkert (signed)
Inks
Lo Linkert (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Relax... it isn't my father that's come to make you marry me. It's only my husband to kill you.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 185)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lowell Hoppes (signed as Hoppes)
Inks
Lowell Hoppes (signed as Hoppes)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Junior! I told you to go outside and look at the nice pussy!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 186)

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Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Yes, it's bigger than daddy's. Now ptu it away before he gets jealous.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 187)

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Script
?
Pencils
Mort Anderson ? (signed as Mort)
Inks
Mort Anderson ? (signed as Mort)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Doesn't everyone?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 188)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as LOP] (signed)
Inks
? [as LOP] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Why, there's Jane Smith!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 189)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bob Zahn (signed)
Inks
Bob Zahn (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Remember the good old days, when we made our sales just by rubbing up against 'em?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 190)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as R] (signed)
Inks
? [as R] (signed)
Letters
typeset

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 191)

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Script
?
Pencils
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Inks
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Will you do me a favor, Jim? I've heard that sex in the bath tub is groovy, and ...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 192)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Dear Complaint Editor: There's something you should know about this guy they hired to draw me...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 193)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Come on, Martha... be a sport.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 194)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You must be very popular... I noticed several shades of dribble on your sheets.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 195)

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Script
?
Pencils
? [as Woof] (signed)
Inks
? [as Woof] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Before you make any wishes, let me tell you about this broad that rubbed me last week.
Genre
humor
Keywords
genie

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 196)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Richard Riley (signed)
Inks
Richard Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Why don't you come in and fool around until it gets hard?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 197)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
?

First Line of Dialogue or Text
When my buck's been hittin' the fire water, he doesn't know the difference.
Genre
humor
Keywords
Native American

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 198)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Speed it up, Honey... my wife is calling me.
Genre
humor

[Lady on a toilet and a plumber] (Table of Contents: 199)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)
Inks
Richard Riley (signed as Riley)

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 200)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
By the war, I'm still going to school. Do you charge student rates?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 201)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You've missed the funniest speech, dear. This silly hypnotist tried to convince us we were all naked!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 202)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Inks
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I think I love you... it never felt this good with anyone else!
Genre
humor
Keywords
tornado

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 203)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Henry Hardin (signed as Hardin)
Inks
Henry Hardin (signed as Hardin)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
If your mother really loved you, George, she'd care what people will say when I tell them about this.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 204)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Richard Riley (signed)
Inks
Richard Riley (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Now are you convinced I wasn't stealing his silly grapefruit?
Genre
horror-suspense

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 205)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I don't know who you are, Buster, but my secretary's a lady, and these obscene calls to her have gotta stop!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 206)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Inks
Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Hey! Who pricked my inflatable doll?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 207)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Inks
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Mom, Mom! The water is boiling under Daddy!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 208)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
My folks are anxious to meet you.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 209)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Wow! Her mouth has sex appeal!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 210)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Jack Chism (signed as Chism)
Inks
Jack Chism (signed as Chism)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Oh, dear! How a vacuum cleaner demonstration ever got to this point is beyond me!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 211)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
Inks
John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
About this neurotic compulsion to have sex with employers... Are you aware I'm lookin for a new receptionist?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 212)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Tom Isbell (signed)
Inks
Tom Isbell (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
That's an illegal hold, and you know it!
Genre
humor
Keywords
wrestling

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 213)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Really, Harry... you're to old to believe in everything you see!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 214)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
If you'd let me go out to get a job, this would never have happened!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 215)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
Inks
Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
WOW! I'm trying this hold on Mary Lou the next time we wrestle!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 216)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
How can you say I'm not inferior, when you haven't tried me yet?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 217)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Either this book has been censored, or he's out to change some woman's luck.
Genre
humor
Keywords
nudist camp

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 218)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Inks
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
What a date! I struggled for three hours before he finally gave in!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 219)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
Inks
James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Would you mind emptying my ash tray for me, Abdul?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 220)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Inks
Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
This is the big scene, where he knocks you up... don't blow it!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 221)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Verdura (signed)
Inks
John Verdura (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Next time go out with a younger man.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 222)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Ray Cruse (signed)
Inks
Ray Cruse (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
As king of this island, oh queen, I decree: you're not keeping those to ladies-in-waiting waiting!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 223)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
Inks
Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Randolph would rather meet you some other time, Daddy. He just stopped by to pick up his pants.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 224)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
It's the most sudden and eye-popping player trade in the history of professional softball...
Genre
humor
Keywords
softball

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 225)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
We've decided it's a tie... unless one of you would like to prove it isn't.
Genre
humor
Keywords
beauty contest

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 226)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
No wonder Sybil wanted to be a Meter Maid. She gets more action now than she did in high school!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 227)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Inks
Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
My wife doesn't understand, know, comprehend or fathom me.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 228)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Verdura (signed)
Inks
John Verdura (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Oh, good... you've decided to get involved again!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 229)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Don Hester (signed)
Inks
Don Hester (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
John, I think we're seeing too much of each other!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 230)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Inks
Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
That's right, Marvin, it had to be you. You were the only one.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 231)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Things ain't simple like they used to be. If I let her marry you, the kid won't draw no welfare.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 232)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Inks
Bill Wenzel (signed as Wenzel)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Well, I guess that answers my question about what shall we do tonight, Martie!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 233)

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Script
?
Pencils
Ted Robins (signed)
Inks
Ted Robins (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I just laid an egg.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 234)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
? [as J. Lark] (signed)
Inks
? [as J. Lark] (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
It's a new miracle cleaner... works sort of like dental floss.
Genre
humor

[Private Anatomy Lessons] (Table of Contents: 235)

cartoon / 0.1 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Scott Smith (signed)
Inks
Scott Smith (signed)

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 236)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
John Verdura (signed)
Inks
John Verdura (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
We took a lot of pains with the guest room, Charlie...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 237)

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Script
?
Pencils
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Inks
Lynn Harrison (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
What kind of divorce is that? I get all the money but the judge gets custody of me!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 238)

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Script
?
Pencils
?
Inks
?
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
You don't know how warm this is going to make me, Mr. Harwell!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 239)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Don Hester (signed)
Inks
Don Hester (signed)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
Men wouldn't like it... reminds 'em too much of the treatment they get at home.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 240)

cartoon / 0.2 page (report information)

Script
?
Pencils
Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
Inks
Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
Letters
typeset

First Line of Dialogue or Text
I learned one thing in Biology class today... it isn't all those munchies I eat that's making me fat.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 241)

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Say... I just remembered something a French sailor told me people do...
Genre
humor
Keywords
mermaid

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 242)

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Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
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Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
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What's she got that we haven't got?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 243)

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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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My new file clerk has trouble remembering drawers...
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 244)

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Who's henpecked? She'd make my tropical fish collection jealous.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 245)

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James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
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James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
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Maizie's a tough act to follow... when the peanuts hit her spot, it chews them up.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 246)

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James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
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James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
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You picked a fine time to get a kink in your back!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 247)

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Chuck Miller (signed as Chuck)
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Chuck Miller (signed as Chuck)
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Do you think your wife suspects that I've been coming between you?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 248)

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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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The john with the foot fetish is here, girls.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 249)

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Let's do something different tonight... let's sleep.
Genre
humor

[Acme Zipper Co.] (Table of Contents: 250)

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Genre
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[Skunk and an Outhouse] (Table of Contents: 251)

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Lou Bradshaw (signed as Brad)

Genre
humor
Keywords
outhouse; skunk

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 252)

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Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
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Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
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No topless waitress for you... you didn't finish your milk or spinach.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 253)

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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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What did you expect a computer date to look like?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 254)

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? [as Linden Smith?] (signed)
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Promise you'll be gentle?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 255)

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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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Hey, stupid... this one's busy!
Genre
humor
Keywords
caveman

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 256)

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Bob Lindsey (signed)
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Bob Lindsey (signed)
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Do you still think I fool around with your wife when she comes here?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 257)

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John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
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John Dawson (signed as Dawson)
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Just as I suspected, Laura... you're back on the hard stuff!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 258)

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Ed Davis (signed as EDavis)
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Ed Davis (signed as EDavis)
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Can I tell our friends you kissed me under the balls?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 259)

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Look, Buster, just because we're married doesn't mean you don't have to get me drunk first any more!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 260)

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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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These new bifocals have improved my painting.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 261)

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James Prueitt (signed as Prueitt)
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When I said we were going down, Saunders, I meant the ship was sinking!
Genre
humor
Keywords
shipwreck

[Our Price Is Frozen but Not Our Product] (Table of Contents: 262)

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? [as Albrikes] (signed)

Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 263)

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Oh, no, Sis... not you again!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 264)

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Ray Cruse (signed)
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Ray Cruse (signed)
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Knock it off, Bentley... in today's economy, somebody getting screwed isn't news!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 265)

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Shut up, dammit! You can't have any of her 'dinners'!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 266)

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I'm glad to see you two are still up...
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humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 267)

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Stick 'em up yourself!
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humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 268)

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Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
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Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
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Forgive me for being nervous... I'm used to having a camera crew present.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 269)

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Chuck Miller (signed as Chuck)
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You'll be offered money for a quickie.
Genre
humor
Keywords
fortune teller

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 270)

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So long, Ann... sorry to hit and split!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 271)

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Ray Cruse (signed)
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Ray Cruse (signed)
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If you're going to sit here all night and keep that thing in your pants, I'm going home!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 272)

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Bob Hageman (signed as Hageman)
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You said 'Let's make our marriage a genuine partnership.' All businessmen do a little cheating behind their partner's back.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 273)

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Bob Zahn (signed)
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Bob Zahn (signed)
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Will you hurry up and finish that popcorn, so we can be alone?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 274)

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Jack Chism (signed as Chism)
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Jack Chism (signed as Chism)
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Good luck, friend... maybe you can get her monkey to come alive
Genre
humor
Keywords
gorilla

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 275)

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Charles Dennis (signed as Dennis)
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Charles Dennis (signed as Dennis)
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What do you mean, there's no doubt about it? How do I know who sneaks over here while I'm asleep?
Genre
humor
Keywords
desert island

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 276)

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Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
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Aaron Bacal (signed as Bacal)
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We struggled, and he went off.
Genre
humor
Keywords
courtroom

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 277)

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Bob Zahn (signed)
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Bob Zahn (signed)
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When I get out, I'm going straight... both ways!
Genre
humor
Keywords
prison

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 278)

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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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Earl Engleman (signed as Engleman)
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Johnbaur, I've been getting complaints about the way you handle mannikins.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 279)

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Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
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Jack Miller (signed as Miller)
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Goodnight, kids... don't do anything we wouldn't do.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 280)

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? [as Woof] (signed)
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? [as Woof] (signed)
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Remember, Mr. Producer, you promised to make me a star!
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 281)

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John McLachlan (signed)
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John McLachlan (signed)
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Where's that carrot I put in there?
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 282)

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Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
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Bill Ward (signed as Ward)
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That's the first $2 I ever made.
Genre
humor

[no title indexed] (Table of Contents: 283)

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He says he's from the Department of Weights and Measures.
Genre
humor
Editing
Related Scans
Series Information
Table of Contents
  1. 0. Gold Digger's
  2. 1. ["What do you mean, why did I stop? You really are new at this, aren't you?"]
  3. 2. ["Man, you really wasted your dime on this obscene call!"]
  4. 3. ["Unless this is another elephant joke, you're in for a multiple birth."]
  5. 4. ["And another thing, Willis... start cleaning up in here before you go home at night."]
  6. 5. ["You're good, honey... but you sure picked a crummy location!"]
  7. 6. [Dog Catcher]
  8. 7. ["Isn't that the widest thing you ever saw?"]
  9. 8. ["I'll be late getting home, dear. You know how slow these trains can be."]
  10. 9. ["I'll see you three gallstones and raise you an ovarian cyst."]
  11. 10. ["Mom, the Madame phoned and said you could take the rest of the night off."]
  12. 11. ["How about a little fairy tail before you go to sleep?"]
  13. 12. ["And now let's hear your asinine distortion of the matter, Mr. Farb."]
  14. 13. ["Look, I appreciate you giving your dumdum son a few pointers, but this is ridiculous!"]
  15. 14. ["I'm worried... we seem to have more workers at the end of each day."]
  16. 15. ["When my husband staggers into the office this morning, I have some information that should wake him up."]
  17. 16. ["No dessert, waiter... my date has a better idea."]
  18. 17. ["I wish I hadn't given up smoking. I'd like to take a cigarette break."]
  19. 18. ["Let's be fair, Diana... I don't want to be just a sex object, either."]
  20. 19. ["Hello, druggist? I'd like to reserve a Morning After Pill for tomorrow morning."]
  21. 20. ["Hey, Susie, you wanna get in a floatin' crap game?"]
  22. 21. [Which Restroom]
  23. 22. ["At last, Dr. Livinston... we've discovered the source of the Nile!"]
  24. 23. ["You'll like my folks. They're always out cheating on each other!"]
  25. 24. ["You may hate yourself in the morning if you do, but have you thought how I'll hate you if you don't?"]
  26. 25. ["I've decided to marry your other daughter. This one tips over too easy."]
  27. 26. ["I had to do it, Officer... he found a substitute for sex."]
  28. 27. ["My wife's better than yours, and you know it!"]
  29. 28. ["ALL others?"]
  30. 29. [Man with Both Hands in Casts]
  31. 30. ["I don't care if he is the warden's brother... that's unfair to the other cons."]
  32. 31. ["You're right, the best defense is a good offense. But that brings up another point..."]
  33. 32. ["Golly, Mother... Cousin Elmo's belly button is this long!"]
  34. 33. ["What're you doing now? We're... whew... going to be late for the... whew... party."]
  35. 34. ["Our marriage has taken on new dimensions... buy my wife doesn't know about them yet."]
  36. 35. [Crushed Nuts!]
  37. 36. ["Here comes Lanny the Lush... just take his money and tell him you already did..."]
  38. 37. ["General Washington was delighted with my piecework. You should've seen his eyes bug out when he came!"]
  39. 38. ["The job pays two hundred a week with a ten-inch bonus!"]
  40. 39. ["Will the stopover in Paris allow time for a tango?"]
  41. 40. ["Where are your privates, Sergeant?"]
  42. 41. ["How would you like to wind me up?"]
  43. 42. ["Yeah, she looks nice on canvas... but she feels better on a satin sheet."]
  44. 43. ["I know you're trying, sweetheart, but that's not what the marriage counsellor meant by 'Work on ways to warm up during sex'."]
  45. 44. ["Stanley is so affectionate since he came back from overseas... he calls me his little honey wagon."]
  46. 45. ["Never mind, 'what's typing and shorthand?' you're hired."]
  47. 46. [Modern Proctology Research Center]
  48. 47. ["Ooops! Your tube fell out."]
  49. 48. ["Tell your daughter her people-powered phallic device is here."]
  50. 49. ["I tried loving my neighbor... her husband nearly killed me."]
  51. 50. ["How do you like her, Uncle Davie"]
  52. 51. ["A man gave me this and told me to run off with it!"]
  53. 52. ["You won't get much for a lollipop, Mister. That routine is older than your car."]
  54. 53. ["It says it has to do a No. 2"]
  55. 54. [Bath House]
  56. 55. ["I see you've done business with us horse soldiers before..."]
  57. 56. ["Paw says as long as the damage has been done, he'd like to try it, too."]
  58. 57. ["I wonder if we're slipping... it's been ages since we were picked up in a vice raid."]
  59. 58. ["This red ribbon means it's my time of the month."]
  60. 59. ["How about a little fowl play?"]
  61. 60. ["Pardon me, but I couldn't help overhearing my room mate say she doesn't want any tonight."]
  62. 61. ["Yeah... you were real good... considering what little you had to work with..."]
  63. 62. ["Don't worry, little feller... I'll put some meat on those bones of yours!"]
  64. 63. ["No, no, Thelma... you're supposed to start noticing boys!"]
  65. 64. ["No, that's not my wife's size. I can wrap one finger around hers."]
  66. 65. ["From what I saw through the peephole, I'm sure you folks enjoyed your stay with us."]
  67. 66. ["Okay, wise guy... stop making that slurping noise."]
  68. 67. ["We're updating. Do you have any idea how much time is spent douching each night?"]
  69. 68. ["Clyde never touches the stuff... except to drop in a little Spanish Fly now and then."]
  70. 69. ["Er... how old did you say you were?"]
  71. 70. ["Eenie, meenie, miney, moe... which little button makes you go?"]
  72. 71. ["Never mind about the high level of industrial pollutants... get in!"]
  73. 72. ["Would you mind oiling up your bed springs? They're futching up our rhythm downstairs."]
  74. 73. ["I'm pretty busy tonight. Do you have a reservation?"]
  75. 74. [Home Made Wings]
  76. 75. ["Don't be upset about your grades, Miss Peach... I've got a special Extra Credit Project for you."]
  77. 76. ["The way you carry on, you'd think you were the first girl I've knocked up."]
  78. 77. ["Well, I was just going shopping. But I can swing through Los Angeles."]
  79. 78. ["Okay, just so you won't be embarrassed...I'll show you mine first."]
  80. 79. ["Let me go, bushter... can't you shee her giving me the ol' come-on?"]
  81. 80. ["Cyrano, I've got a special request tonight."]
  82. 81. ["Madame tells me this is your first time, kid."]
  83. 82. ["I'm too stiff? You should talk!"]
  84. 83. ["I'm having trouble meeting girls."]
  85. 84. ["Close that door! You want me to catch cold?"]
  86. 85. ["Now do you see why they call me Hot Lips?"]
  87. 86. ["Sir... Madame... your suite is ready."]
  88. 87. ["I've seen 'em so ugly you had to cover their face, but this is ridiculous."]
  89. 88. ["I thought you had the search warrant!"]
  90. 89. ["Don't be so old fashioned, Daddy... use your bazooka!"]
  91. 90. ["Miss Witchbitch will tell you about Display Advertising..."]
  92. 91. ["I'll say one thing... Coach sure knows how to use Visual Aids in his pep talks!"]
  93. 92. ["Hi, Flatso... who did that for you?"]
  94. 93. ["Sell you a little piece... after all the men I've had? You've gotta be kidding!"]
  95. 94. ["We call this our 'Bait and Switch' model."]
  96. 95. ["I know butlers are hard to find, but did you have to offer out daughter as a fringe benefit?"]
  97. 96. ["I don't care if the beach is crowded... lay someplace else!"]
  98. 97. ["I'm getting plenty of attention at the clinic, dear."]
  99. 98. ["We don't refer to our employees as 'prostitutes'. They're 'Erection Deconstruction Engineers'."]
  100. 99. ["She sure shakes hands great when she isn't wearing her glasses."]
  101. 100. ["Send the car around... I've shot my limit."]
  102. 101. ["I believe my stepdaughter has something that belongs to you, too, Prince Charming..."]
  103. 102. ["I sure would like a nice banana split."]
  104. 103. ["Couldn't you two wait?"]
  105. 104. ["Everyone's nuts about Fran... she's so nearsighted she can't tell her friends unless they're right on top of her!"]
  106. 105. ["Is either one of you named Henry Rumplemyer?"]
  107. 106. ["What makes you think I was playing footsies with our hostess?"]
  108. 107. ["How do you figure women? That dumb saloon gal gets me undressed, then tells me to start riding!"]
  109. 108. ["They're silicone injections... I'm fighting inflation with inflation!"]
  110. 109. ["The maid will take over all your duties except washing, ironing, cleaning and cooking."]
  111. 110. ["42% were for the permissive society, 37% were against... and 21% wanted to join."]
  112. 111. ["I don't know if I'll keep this hat... strange men keep asking me to multiply."]
  113. 112. ["If that was a fate worse than death, I think I'll commit suicide!"]
  114. 113. ["Know what I hope? I hope you're just getting started."]
  115. 114. ["I can't do horses!"]
  116. 115. ["Whatever you do, don't mention that thing Mom does with Uncle Warren."]
  117. 116. ["Mr. Smithers, I'll bet you're plumb glad your wife gets home today!"]
  118. 117. ["I don't care if gas is cheap... it's scare, and I like the service I get from the coal handler!"]
  119. 118. ["Don't shoot yet, Paw... he hasn't done anything worth marrying for."]
  120. 119. ["Suddenly I have this terrible craving to eat a pussy."]
  121. 120. ["Please don't think less of me, Harold, but... I've never been to a man's bedroom before."]
  122. 121. ["Call back later, Jan. I'm helping Freddie with his pimple problem."]
  123. 122. ["Go ahead, shoot him. See if I care!"]
  124. 123. ["Nice going, son. I was beginning to think you were a fag."]
  125. 124. ["It's a sad case. He spent three years on a desert island... with his mother."]
  126. 125. ["Never mind the preliminaries... start in where you left off last week!"]
  127. 126. ["The making was great, but I'm too spent to spend it!"]
  128. 127. ["Th-thanks, Mister... I'm getting airsick!"]
  129. 128. ["Now then, sir, does this refresh your memory?"]
  130. 129. ["Of course I've been happy since our marriage Herbert... right now I can't tell you how happy I am!"]
  131. 130. ["You look like the guy I met last night bu you sure don't feel like him!"]
  132. 131. ["Steve would be furious if he saw me like this. He paid $40 for my new bathing suit."]
  133. 132. ["From the size of this thing, I'd say you've been getting plenty!"]
  134. 133. ["I hope you're not gonna be one of those brides who has to go in the bathroom and cry for an hour."]
  135. 134. ["Sex is all you men think about! I'll bet you wouldn't want to marry me if I wasn't a girl!"]
  136. 135. ["How long have you had this fear of shaving?"]
  137. 136. [Waterbeds]
  138. 137. [Ball]
  139. 138. ["Old Zeke sure has a time gettin' the kids of his to wash up good."]
  140. 139. ["If money won't buy it, how about Wednesday and Thurday evenings off..."]
  141. 140. ["But I must know, dear... in what way is his product better?"]
  142. 141. ["Gosh, Mrs. Wilson... your stitches must've come out!"]
  143. 142. ["Just had to have a damb water bed, didn't you, Earl?"]
  144. 143. [Delivery Room]
  145. 144. ["I'm getting on helluva message without watching the hands!"]
  146. 145. ["Your shell or mine?"]
  147. 146. ["Oh, dear... I'm afraid they've been spending too much time in the Bat Cave together."]
  148. 147. ["Dear Readers: This cartoon isn't too great, but the model was."]
  149. 148. ["Okay, Blue...go find me some stuff!"]
  150. 149. ["I'm making New Year's Resolutions. Would you mind if I gave up sex?"]
  151. 150. ["I win our bet, dear... Pierre is all man!"]
  152. 151. ["Your daughter's boyfriend wants to know if he gets a discount."]
  153. 152. ["And to think, when I was asked to do a command performance, I practiced like hell on my harpsichord!"]
  154. 153. ["All right, Doctor, you can have some right after this patient leaves. Now please get your mind back on what you're doing."]
  155. 154. ["I'm waiting for Avery to get home from the nude movie...what are you doing?"]
  156. 155. ["It's not upside down to my boyfriend"]
  157. 156. ["Know what I learned today? Teachers don't play stinkfinger like use kids do."]
  158. 157. ["Here's the engagement ring I promised you, Betty... if you're still interested!"]
  159. 158. ["The girl next door... sunbathing nude? Why, no, dear, I hadn't noticed."]
  160. 159. ["You're just the kind of nice, sweet, innocent girl I want to take home to Mother and... hey, what's that?"]
  161. 160. ["I'm warning you, Smedlap... whatever this is, it had better be dambed important!"]
  162. 161. ["Our neighbor has been very good about helping Junior with his homework every night."]
  163. 162. ["I've been bragging what a good piece you are, Bertha, bot Orville won't believe me."]
  164. 163. ["It's all right, Madame. He's paying me to help him kick the habit."]
  165. 164. ["So long... I'm moving into larger quarters."]
  166. 165. ["Gee, Mom, I wish Harold knew what you're accusing him of... would you tell him how to do it?"]
  167. 166. ["What's this $100 for 'HOOKERS' in our check book? Have you been buying more fishing equipment?"]
  168. 167. ["OK, so I'm 5 months late and I've gained 20 pounds... that doesn't prove anything."]
  169. 168. ["I'm writing to 'Dear Abbey'. What's the word for a sexually inadequate man?"]
  170. 169. ["But, Mother, his analyst says we shouldn't interfere when he shows signs of self expression."]
  171. 170. ["Gad! And Marcus Welby thinks he gets involved with his patients!"]
  172. 171. ["Who's the lucky girl?"]
  173. 172. ["That's not what I meant when I said I wanted to see something in a sports car."]
  174. 173. ["Who said anything about your suit being indecent? You're under arrest for running a Sandcastle of Ill Repute!"]
  175. 174. ["I thought you said this was an intimate bar!"]
  176. 175. ["Welcome to the Desert Island Hilton. I'll take care of those bags."]
  177. 176. ["Now, I'll show you Women's Liberation Movement #3."]
  178. 177. ["I'm not being coy, Sailor... just take my word for it, you're wasting your time!"]
  179. 178. ["I believe in using your talents. Bardot has a body, Callas can sing, and me... I've got three lovely daughters!"]
  180. 179. ["Remember them pink-ripe tomatoes... all looks and no taste..."]
  181. 180. ["Sorry, Lady... I'm only good for one a night."]
  182. 181. [Wanted Someone Who Likes to Handle Meat]
  183. 182. ["Hey Buddy, what was the big idea standing me up? I lost a $100 customer waiting for you!"]
  184. 183. ["Terrible news, sire! Your harem has been infiltrated by Women's Lib!"]
  185. 184. ["Relax... it isn't my father that's come to make you marry me. It's only my husband to kill you."]
  186. 185. ["Junior! I told you to go outside and look at the nice pussy!"]
  187. 186. ["Yes, it's bigger than daddy's. Now ptu it away before he gets jealous."]
  188. 187. ["Doesn't everyone?"]
  189. 188. ["Why, there's Jane Smith!"]
  190. 189. ["Remember the good old days, when we made our sales just by rubbing up against 'em?"]
  191. 190. [no title indexed]
  192. 191. ["Will you do me a favor, Jim? I've heard that sex in the bath tub is groovy, and ..."]
  193. 192. ["Dear Complaint Editor: There's something you should know about this guy they hired to draw me..."]
  194. 193. ["Come on, Martha... be a sport."]
  195. 194. ["You must be very popular... I noticed several shades of dribble on your sheets."]
  196. 195. ["Before you make any wishes, let me tell you about this broad that rubbed me last week."]
  197. 196. ["Why don't you come in and fool around until it gets hard?"]
  198. 197. ["When my buck's been hittin' the fire water, he doesn't know the difference."]
  199. 198. ["Speed it up, Honey... my wife is calling me."]
  200. 199. [Lady on a toilet and a plumber]
  201. 200. ["By the war, I'm still going to school. Do you charge student rates?"]
  202. 201. ["You've missed the funniest speech, dear. This silly hypnotist tried to convince us we were all naked!"]
  203. 202. ["I think I love you... it never felt this good with anyone else!"]
  204. 203. ["If your mother really loved you, George, she'd care what people will say when I tell them about this."]
  205. 204. ["Now are you convinced I wasn't stealing his silly grapefruit?"]
  206. 205. ["I don't know who you are, Buster, but my secretary's a lady, and these obscene calls to her have gotta stop!"]
  207. 206. ["Hey! Who pricked my inflatable doll?"]
  208. 207. ["Mom, Mom! The water is boiling under Daddy!"]
  209. 208. ["My folks are anxious to meet you."]
  210. 209. ["Wow! Her mouth has sex appeal!"]
  211. 210. ["Oh, dear! How a vacuum cleaner demonstration ever got to this point is beyond me!"]
  212. 211. ["About this neurotic compulsion to have sex with employers... Are you aware I'm lookin for a new receptionist?"]
  213. 212. ["That's an illegal hold, and you know it!"]
  214. 213. ["Really, Harry... you're to old to believe in everything you see!"]
  215. 214. ["If you'd let me go out to get a job, this would never have happened!"]
  216. 215. ["WOW! I'm trying this hold on Mary Lou the next time we wrestle!"]
  217. 216. ["How can you say I'm not inferior, when you haven't tried me yet?"]
  218. 217. ["Either this book has been censored, or he's out to change some woman's luck."]
  219. 218. ["What a date! I struggled for three hours before he finally gave in!"]
  220. 219. ["Would you mind emptying my ash tray for me, Abdul?"]
  221. 220. ["This is the big scene, where he knocks you up... don't blow it!"]
  222. 221. ["Next time go out with a younger man."]
  223. 222. ["As king of this island, oh queen, I decree: you're not keeping those to ladies-in-waiting waiting!"]
  224. 223. ["Randolph would rather meet you some other time, Daddy. He just stopped by to pick up his pants."]
  225. 224. ["It's the most sudden and eye-popping player trade in the history of professional softball..."]
  226. 225. ["We've decided it's a tie... unless one of you would like to prove it isn't."]
  227. 226. ["No wonder Sybil wanted to be a Meter Maid. She gets more action now than she did in high school!"]
  228. 227. ["My wife doesn't understand, know, comprehend or fathom me."]
  229. 228. ["Oh, good... you've decided to get involved again!"]
  230. 229. ["John, I think we're seeing too much of each other!"]
  231. 230. ["That's right, Marvin, it had to be you. You were the only one."]
  232. 231. ["Things ain't simple like they used to be. If I let her marry you, the kid won't draw no welfare."]
  233. 232. ["Well, I guess that answers my question about what shall we do tonight, Martie!"]
  234. 233. ["I just laid an egg."]
  235. 234. ["It's a new miracle cleaner... works sort of like dental floss."]
  236. 235. [Private Anatomy Lessons]
  237. 236. ["We took a lot of pains with the guest room, Charlie..."]
  238. 237. ["What kind of divorce is that? I get all the money but the judge gets custody of me!"]
  239. 238. ["You don't know how warm this is going to make me, Mr. Harwell!"]
  240. 239. ["Men wouldn't like it... reminds 'em too much of the treatment they get at home."]
  241. 240. ["I learned one thing in Biology class today... it isn't all those munchies I eat that's making me fat."]
  242. 241. ["Say... I just remembered something a French sailor told me people do..."]
  243. 242. ["What's she got that we haven't got?"]
  244. 243. ["My new file clerk has trouble remembering drawers..."]
  245. 244. ["Who's henpecked? She'd make my tropical fish collection jealous."]
  246. 245. ["Maizie's a tough act to follow... when the peanuts hit her spot, it chews them up."]
  247. 246. ["You picked a fine time to get a kink in your back!"]
  248. 247. ["Do you think your wife suspects that I've been coming between you?"]
  249. 248. ["The john with the foot fetish is here, girls."]
  250. 249. ["Let's do something different tonight... let's sleep."]
  251. 250. [Acme Zipper Co.]
  252. 251. [Skunk and an Outhouse]
  253. 252. ["No topless waitress for you... you didn't finish your milk or spinach."]
  254. 253. ["What did you expect a computer date to look like?"]
  255. 254. ["Promise you'll be gentle?"]
  256. 255. ["Hey, stupid... this one's busy!"]
  257. 256. ["Do you still think I fool around with your wife when she comes here?"]
  258. 257. ["Just as I suspected, Laura... you're back on the hard stuff!"]
  259. 258. ["Can I tell our friends you kissed me under the balls?"]
  260. 259. ["Look, Buster, just because we're married doesn't mean you don't have to get me drunk first any more!"]
  261. 260. ["These new bifocals have improved my painting."]
  262. 261. ["When I said we were going down, Saunders, I meant the ship was sinking!"]
  263. 262. [Our Price Is Frozen but Not Our Product]
  264. 263. ["Oh, no, Sis... not you again!"]
  265. 264. ["Knock it off, Bentley... in today's economy, somebody getting screwed isn't news!"]
  266. 265. ["Shut up, dammit! You can't have any of her 'dinners'!"]
  267. 266. ["I'm glad to see you two are still up..."]
  268. 267. ["Stick 'em up yourself!"]
  269. 268. ["Forgive me for being nervous... I'm used to having a camera crew present."]
  270. 269. ["You'll be offered money for a quickie."]
  271. 270. ["So long, Ann... sorry to hit and split!"]
  272. 271. ["If you're going to sit here all night and keep that thing in your pants, I'm going home!"]
  273. 272. ["You said 'Let's make our marriage a genuine partnership.' All businessmen do a little cheating behind their partner's back."]
  274. 273. ["Will you hurry up and finish that popcorn, so we can be alone?"]
  275. 274. ["Good luck, friend... maybe you can get her monkey to come alive"]
  276. 275. ["What do you mean, there's no doubt about it? How do I know who sneaks over here while I'm asleep?"]
  277. 276. ["We struggled, and he went off."]
  278. 277. ["When I get out, I'm going straight... both ways!"]
  279. 278. ["Johnbaur, I've been getting complaints about the way you handle mannikins."]
  280. 279. ["Goodnight, kids... don't do anything we wouldn't do."]
  281. 280. ["Remember, Mr. Producer, you promised to make me a star!"]
  282. 281. ["Where's that carrot I put in there?"]
  283. 282. ["That's the first $2 I ever made."]
  284. 283. ["He says he's from the Department of Weights and Measures."]
This issue was most recently modified by:
  • Chad Wicker
  • Katie
  • Mike Nielsen
  • Ramon Schenk
  • Peter Croome